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Diary Of A Student In Love
They say it's impossible to fall in love young. I say wrong. I fell in love with a man who exceeded my expectations of men, by far. He was a real-life Prince Charming. The only problem? He was my English teacher.
I was so sick of myself and my boring life. I was a B-average 17 year old who wanted to be a writer or a designer, but that wasn't going anywhere. With a single mother who I barely see because she works so hard to support us, I had no real family. My friends were my family, and even they couldn't be there when I needed them most. Cold nights were spent studying or hanging out at a friends house, with hot nights much the same. My English teacher was one of the best teachers I've had. He encouraged me to excel in my work, and when I couldn't we would often have long conversations until dark, after school. My friends warned me about the dangers of being with a teacher for that long, but I didn't care, it was my life not theirs.
I had just about finished doing an assessment when Anna called. Within a few minutes I was dressed for a night out and had already rushed out the door, when Mr Heywood walked past my driveway. He had only started teaching at the start of the year and was fresh out of university, so he was quite young. Nearly all the girls would swoon over him as soon as he walked into English. Although he was very attractive, he was still a teacher and I was a student. Eww. As he walked past Anna called, “Mr Heywood! Hi, Mr Heywood!” Mr Heywood turned and recognised us almost straight away. Walking over to us he greeted us, “Hey girls! What are you up to? Been doing your homework?” Anna smirked as I shyly laughed, “Unlikely! We're just hitting up the clubs tonight,” Anna answered. Mr Heywood laughed, looking at me. I felt myself blush and looked away, thinking about what I was wearing. Please don't look skimpy, I thought automatically. Wait, he's a teacher. Why would I care anyway, it' not like I swooned over him like all the other girls. Mr Heywood laughed, and dismissed us with a “See you in class” and a wave. I watched him as he walked away, disappearing at the corner of my street. Anna smirked and gave me a suspicious look as we got into her car and drove to the dance club in town.
Almost kicking the door down, I flung myself into English and was greeted with a bunch of 10 or so sleepy year 12 students. Mr Heywood looked up startled, from his book and smirked. I felt my cheeks grow hot and I hurriedly walked to my seat in the middle row. Anna gave me a worried-but-amused look and continued reading as Mr Heywood walked over to my desk. “So glad you could join us, Miss Everlyn,” he said to me, as I pulled out my books. “Today we're starting Shakespeare's famous Romeo and Juliet. You need to have finished it in 2 weeks, so I suggest you get a move on and start reading” he turned to me as I pulled out the book. “Now, what is it about Romeo and Juliet, that makes it so remarkably timeless?” He asked the class. A guy in the back row raised his hand and said something about teachers making us read it. The class laughed together and Mr Heywood said, “Miss Everlyn, why do you think Romeo and Juliet is so timeless?” I was so nervous, I could barely talk. How does he expect me to answer with him looking at me like that? I looked up at him and his emerald eyes locked onto mine, as I thought for a second, before responding.
“I think Romeo and Juliet is so timeless, because Shakespeare has created a tragic love story, that every teenager can relate to. Human beings were made to find another “soulmate” I suppose, and to create a relationship bound to love. Shakespeare has incorporated a number of issues into Romeo and Juliet, most of which involve the two most common causes of war in society; love and violence. So, naturally, girls are drawn to the love side of it, while guys are drawn to the violence of it.” I finished talking and looked up to see Mr Heywood staring at me, bewildered. He stared at me for a few seconds before blushing slightly. I looked away, blushing too. “Well... That was an... excellent answer Miss Everlyn,” Mr Heywood said.
The bell rang and everyone rushed out the door to get home before the rain started pouring. I picked up my bags, as Mr Heywood shuffled some papers on his desk. “Miss Everlyn, may I ask you something?” He asked me as I left my desk. “Yeah, go ahead,” I answered, my stomach doing mini-backflips. “I was just wondering what you had planned for your career. You have a lot to offer in class. Do you plan on going to uni?” he asked. Well that wasn't what I expected. Mr Heywood looked at me curiously and once again, I could feel my cheeks go red. “Umm, well I,” I stuttered. He was making me so nervous, I could of sworn he could hear my heart beat now. “I plan to go to university and study writing, or fashion design,” I told him, trying so very hard not to look into those gorgeous green eyes. He nodded in agreement, “Yes, I think you'll be a great writer. If you talk like that, then you must write even better,” he said, nodding again. It felt so awkward, being alone with a teacher only about 4 years my senior. “That's all, you may go. I'll see you in class, and try not to be late again. A girl like you would be missing out,” he said waving. I nodded and slipped out of classroom into the hallway. What did he mean by “a girl like you”? What type of girl was I? He didn't see me as one of the head-over-heels girls did he?
I stepped outside and was completely drenched within seconds. Shoot! I forgot my umbrella! I put my hoodie up and started my 20 minute walk home. The cold night was just setting to settle in and the dim street lights made the usually cheery streets seem dark and eery. I really hated walking home this late. I glanced down at my watch and it was already 6:45 by the time I rounded the nearest corner. Shoot again! Mum was staying over a friends house tonight, which meant that no one would be home, which meant I would be camping unless a miracle turned up.
I would of sworn I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and peered through the dark night, but my eyes can only see so far. I quickened my pace, but the foot steps I heard seemed to be quickening too. The rain was very heavy, so I really needed to listen to whoever it was that was following me. I stopped under a street light to look at my watch again. 7:05 already! Why is it taking so long to walk home? I wasn't even halfway there yet. Out the corner of my eyes I saw a large shadow slip into some shrubs across the street. I stepped out of the street lights so I couldn't be seen and figured I would have a safer chance of heading back to the school, than walking home and getting mugged or worse, killed. I started back in the general direction of the school, but it seemed I was being followed again. The more I walked, the more unease crept into the pit of my stomach. “This was a bad idea,” I heared myself say. The footsteps were getting louder and louder, as I started walking faster. By the time I reached the middle of the street, I was powerwalking. I made a sharp turn into an old path way between some houses. Not a good idea, this is such a bad idea Mia, I kept thinking.
The footsteps were so loud under the almost-hailing rain, I stepped it up and started running for my life. I ran and ran for what seemed like an hour or so, until I finally came to a deserted park, not far from the school. I made my way to a swing and eagerly sat down, panting for breath. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to get to the school before something happened. I grabbed my mobile from my bag and was about to call Mum, then I realised there was no reception, probably from the storm. Great. I was stuck outside, with no keys to let myself in our house, mum was at a friends, and I was being followed! Great, just great.
A black for-wheel-drive drove into the parks car park, just as I stood up. Well that's not suspicious at all, I thought. I hid behind some play equipment as driver got out. There was only one street light, so I had to squint. I looked through my bag for my camera, so I could zoom in try and make out his face. Looking up, my camera fell to the ground as I realised he wasn't there anymore. “Miss Everlyn?” A smooth voice behind me whispered. I fell back in surprise and nearly had a heart attack. “Mr Heywood?” I said, shocked. Had he been following me? “What are you doing Sir?” I asked, still recovering from the mini-heart attack, I'm sure I just had. “Please, call me Chris oustide of school,” he said. I smiled. Chris. I can do that. “I saw you walking home. It's pouring and very dark, so I thought I'd give you a lift home. I stopped near a street light you were under and went to ask you if you needed some help, but then you were gone. So, I followed you here,” he continued, answering my question. I thought for a minute, and looked up at him.
Why, oh why did he have to be so gorgeous? Even under the light of the stars, he was just as attractive. I blinked a few times as he held out a hand to help me up. His hand was so warm, and so... dry? I looked around and saw he was holding a rather large umbrella. “More important, why are you here Miss Everlyn?” he asked me, now sounding very serious. I looked at his face and even in the dark, could see “worried” and “concerned” were written all over it. I thought for a minute, I didn't want to sound like a complete idiot in front of my future husband. Future husband? No, I did not just think that.
I shook my head slightly, “I was walking home, but I forgot my mother was staying at a friends house, so I thought I'd have better luck going to the school, and seeing who I could find.” He nodded, “Well, I was the only teacher there when I left, so you're lucky you didn't go back. You would have been locked outside again.” I looked at his adorable smile. He was doing it again! I turned away from him, blushing again. “Well, now that you're here, do you think you can give me a lift home?” I asked. “What? What are you talking about?” He asked, bewildered. “You're not staying outside by yourself on a night like this!” He said. “You can come to my home, I've got a spare bed and some dry clothes you can change into,” he said, looking at my now soaked body. HIS house? Why his house? Out of everyone, it just had to be his!
His unit was very snug. A bit small, but very comfortable and warm, so very warm. He disappeared down the hall, as I put my stuff next to the door. His loungeroom had a reasonably large T.V, with a black leather lounge and glass coffee table. The wood floors, with the antique fire place, made the house seem perfect. He had a huge kitchen though. Maybe he likes to cook, I thought. A young, handsome, funny teacher who likes to cook. Could it get any better? I heard some shuffling and walked down the hall to what I assumed was his bedroom. A huge king-sized bed was staring right at me. He had another leather lounge next to the window, and off the side was the ensuite. “You'll be sleeping in the bed, and I'll have the lounge,” he said. The bed? That thing is huge! “I can sleep on the lounge, you have the bed,” I said, shaking my head. “No, you're the guest, and a girl, which means you can have the bed,” he insisted. He handed me shirt and trackies, pointing at the bathroom. I groaned and went to shower.
I can't believe this is happening, I thought. The shirt was massive, reaching just above my knees. I had to tie the drawstring of the pants extra tight so they would fit. I did a final check before walking out.
Mr Heywood had made up the lounge for himself with a sheet and blanket. He pointed to me, then the bed. “Goodnight, Mia,” he whispered. “Goodnight, Chris,” I whispered back. I got into bed and pulled the covers over me, as I heard him do the same. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep, but it was no luck. That night just wouldn't escape my mind... I looked over in the general direction of Mr Heywood. The soft moonlight only just outlined his tall body on the leather lounge. He's beautiful, I thought to myself. There was no way I could get to sleep now.
The night air was warm and I kept tossing and turning, trying to find a way to fall asleep. I looked over at Mr Heywood again who was now facing me. “Mr- umm, Chris?,” I whispered quietly. To my surprise, he was still awake. I felt my cheeks grow hot as I realised he must of heard, or worse, seen me, toss and turn. “Yes, Miss Everlyn?” he answered smoothly. I laughed, “how long have you been awake?” “The whole time, why?” He said curiously. “Just wondering...” I said. I wondered if he knew I was lying. He laughed quietly. Yes, he definitely knew. “You seem quiet, Mia. Is there any reason why?” He questioned. “Maybe,” I asnwered with a sigh. “Well, I'm here if you need to talk. Don't ever forget that...” He told me. My heartbeat quickened and I felt myself smiling. “I won't,” I said happily.
“Chris,?” I asked him. “Yes Mia?” He answered. I plucked up my courage, “tell me about yourself. No one knows hardly anything about you, apart from the fact that you're single... Well that's what everyone says anyway.” He chuckled, “I am single Mia, and I know everyone is saying that. It's actually quite annoying when all the other girls nearly faint when they see me. They could at least try and hide how much they swoon over me,” he said with a laugh. Wait, what had he meant my “other girls”? What did that make me? “I can imagine. It must be so... horrible, having all those young, pretty girls adoring you...” I said, slightly annoyed. He laughed, then there was silence. “You know, Mia, you're not like all the other girls. I like that,” He told me, sounding sincere. He must of realised I was upset. “Thankyou,” I said with a smile. “Though you are very different, in a good way,” he said. I could see him sitting up, so I sat up too. “How is that a good thing? All those girls are pretty and popular, what any guy would want.” I said, sounding a bit annoyed again.
He took a deep breath, like he was waiting for something to happen, but talked instead. “You know, I dated one of those girls for about 4 years, when I was in highschool and university.” I felt a pang of jealousy. Four whole years... Thats seems like forever in the dating world. “But boy do I regret it,” he continued. “She was a popular, sporty girl, that all the boys nearly drooled over. You wouldn't catch her without a guy on her arm. One day, I was lucky enough to spot her alone, so I asked her out on a date. Surprisingly she accepted. After the date, we started going out for a while,” his voice seemed to quiver. I wondered if he was crying. “She had so much power over me, she never let me out of her sight. I swear I can recall her following me a few times. One day, in 1st year of uni, I found out she had been sleeping with one of guys in my grade. I was so upset, I locked myself in my room for days, refusing to come out, even for food sometimes,” his voice broke and I heard him pound the lounge with his fist. “She hurt me so much... I thought I couldn't move on, but eventually I did. I learnt a few years later that she had married that same guy and had children with him. I suppose I was happy for her, she got what she wanted, even if she had hurt me along the way.” I smiled at the thought of him being happy for her. It was cute I guess.
“After that, I continued my studies at uni, and moved away,” he continued. He paused and stood up slowly, then started pacing the room. “I started teaching at a primary school not far from here a few months ago, but then decided I wanted to teach at a high school. So, I appliedand I got a new job here,” he finished explaining. I smiled slightly at him, wondering if he could see me. He could, and he smiled back.
“Well, I'm glad you got over her. That was a pretty harsh thing to do...” I said quietly. He laughed slightly. “Don't stress, she's out of my life now,” he reassured me. I wondered if he could tell I was jealous... “So Mia, tell me about yourself. I know you have a mother and that you're excellent at English. There must be more to you.” he said, smiling. I was so nervous, what if he didn't like me? What if I was weird? I re-arranged myself, so I was sitting comfortably, as he moved up the bed to sit next to me. I shivered as I felt his body heat linger beside me.
“Well, I live with my mum who works her butt off to support us. My father left us when I was 7, and I have an older brother who now lives in England,” I began. He nodded his head and listened carefully as I began to unravel my life to him. “After my father left us, our landlord kicked us out because he couldn't afford to pay rent, so we lived at a shelter for a while.” I looked away, ashamed and embarrassed. Chris placed his hand on my cheek, turning me to face him. “Don't be embarrassed Mia, it's nothing to be ashamed of.” He smiled at me, easing my nerves. He nodded, signalling me to continue. “Mum found a job and we started moving all over the place, renting units and houses, until we found our house. We moved in straight away, and I've now been here for about 8 years, or so,” I told him.
“You're a very brave girl, Mia, telling me that. I don't know anyone who would tell me they lived in a shelter,” he smiled at me, placing my hand in his. Butterflies started flying in my stomach, but I didn't care. I think I'm love, I thought to myself. I looked at Chris to find his amazing emerald eyes staring back at mine. I smiled as he tilted my face toward his, ever so slowly. “I love you, Mia,” he whispered against my lips. I closed my eyes and slowly kissed him back. After what seemed like an eternity, we both pulled back. “I love you too,” I whispered back, tears forming. Chris smiled softly, putting an arm around me. “Best to get some sleep, we have a big day at school tomorrow,” he reminded me. He kissed my forehead and I whimpered softly. Those few moments, were the happiest I had ever felt. We lay down together, his arms enveloping me.
“I love you, Mia,” he whispered soflty. I smiled, with a tear of joy rolling down my cheek. “I love you too, Chris,” I whispered back.
Chris moved away not long after. The only thing he left was a note:
"My love, Mia,
You changed my life, and I am forever grateful.
But, I cannot stay with you.
If anyone finds out about us, your life will be over. I don't care about mine, I care about yours, and I cannot afford for you to lose your dreams and future, over me.
It tears me apart knowing how hurt you will be once you read this, but I believe it's for the best.
I ask only one thing;
That you remember us. Remember all the times we shared together. Remember out first kiss. And, remember me.
I hope that you will find me one day... Just so I can know you are happy with your life. Just so I can see you again.
I will never forget you my love.
I will always love you, Mia.
I smiled after reading this letter. I smiled because, I would remember the times we shared together, even if I was only 17 at the time.
Chris Heywood was my English teacher, and my first kiss. Above all, he was my first love, and I will always remember him and I will find him.