What could have been

August 1, 2010
Sitting on the "a" train headed up to 176 street, it's 12:30, i know I shouldn't have waited this long to get on the train but what was i to do? I look to my left, the train is almost deserted. I see 1 teenager around my age, he has pitch black hair, his head was bent so I couldn't see his face, but I imagined he is beautiful(or at least I hope). Across him was a woman curled up lying down in the bench. She looks dirty, her clothes are dingy and torn, she reeks of garbage and I think 'only in new york'. I take pity on the woman, but I don't know how to express it. I wait three stops and finally go over there and slip my last five dollar bill in her hand. It's only fie dollars but I'm sure she would appreciate it. I look across the train and realize now that the boy is staring at me. Does he think I'm stealing the five dollars? What if this turns into a misunderstanding? He smiles to my surprise, and what a smile. it was subtle, but it was beautiful, just as I assumed. He had deep chocolate brown eyes that were barely seen through his shaggy hair. I smiled back so as not to be rude, I was enjoying a brief moment of happiness with a stranger. Like a loser though I began to imagine what my life would be like with him in it. I gave him a name that most likely wasn't his and I could see our life. "Hi my name is Eric," he would say, and in a failed attempt to sound sexy and mysterious I would reply " Charlie, what's up." From then our life would sky rocket. I would find out later that he goes to my high school and we would share a flirty love life. Much like this; " wait, you go to my school?" I'd ask, and he'd reply " hello to you too, and I guess so, aren't I lucky?" He would smile and I would melt. Without wanting to show him I'd hold myself upright and reply in a half awkward, half cool tone " Yeah, I guess you are lucky,see you later," I'd try to make a sexy exit only to trip and have him catch me " be careful I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," he'd say smiling, and we would share a moment of uninterrupted silence. Dazzled by him I'd forget what I was trying to do and he would giggle and ask "maybe we could get to know each other a bit better? What do you think?" In a trance state I would reply sheepishly" uh huh." We'd go on our first date and hit it off, only to fall in love and go through obstacles placed before us to test our loyalty. To see if it were true, if our love were true, and we'd pass with flying colors. -Ding, I snapped out of my daydream and saw that he was getting off, but before he did he winked at me. He put his earphones in his ears, his hands into his pockets and walked onto the platform, and up the stairs. I sighed and realized my stop was next.





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