My Sanctuary

August 1, 2010
By ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.


I lean forward, farther and farther until I feel the desired burn in my leg and side. As I do, I think; it’s amazing the different sanctuaries people can have. My best friend loves her closet; the quiet, the dark, the way you can’t hear thunder during a storm.
I switch sides and lean forward again, the burn painful yet sweet.
Another friend loves an empty pool at night, the moonlight glinting off the water as it ripples, the way the water caresses her as she swims, the way she seems to disappear in the shadows.
I move, feeling that lovely burn in both legs now.
My mother loves the library, the peacefulness, the sound of turning pages, the knowledge that so many people put work and effort into the thousands of books, magazines, movies, and music surrounding her.
I stand and hear my name. Smiling, I turn to the boy about my age that wants me as his partner. A blonde girl glares at him for claiming me and chooses another girl to work with. It just makes him laugh.
I know my sanctuary is different in many ways, yet I can’t seem to imagine another.
We line up and receive short instruction. Then, we spread out in pairs so we have enough space. We shake hands, and stand ready.
I love the way the mirrors fog up on a cold day in winter.
Our cue manifests in the form of a powerful cry from the mouth of a man dressed in black.
I love the smiles of triumph when someone learns something new.
My partner and I circle each other, watching.
I love the way we look out for each other and cheer each other on.
Finally, I see an opening. I spring forward and execute a nice sidekick to his ribs. He blocks my follow-up jab, and I dodge his counter hook. A front snap kick is his next attack, and I block it. I see an opportunity for a takedown, but I know I can’t pull it off on him, and the moment passes.
I love the feeling of relief when something especially difficult is over.
Beside me, a little brunette girl manages to sweep a big raven-haired guy. He hits the mat loudly, and she is on him instantly. Across the room, two average-size men exchange blocks and strikes. Next to them, a tall brunette boy picks up a girl my size and carefully brings her down to the mat.
I love that there’s no such thing as an underdog.
My partner lands a few good punches and kicks, but so do I. He blocks a lot of punches and kicks, but so do I.
I love the cool feeling that passes over my skin when I step outside covered in sweat on a spring or autumn day.
I can feel the wall at my back. I try to move away, but he keeps me there with well-placed kicks. I can almost feel his eyes as they search for one hole in my defense.
I love the way size doesn’t matter.
Finally, I slip-up, and he sees it. He acts instantly and comes in quickly. He anticipates and blocks the knee I throw to his groin. Soon, he pins me to the wall. He presses against me, I can feel the heat, and I can barely move.
I love how there’s a way out of everything, if you’re creative enough to find it.
I do not have a chance to act on an opening I know is there. He catches me off guard by whispering in my ear, “I love you.”
Yeah, I think I love that, too.
With one swift, efficient motion, he flips me through the air. I hit the mat hard, breaking the fall by slapping the mat with my palms. In ten seconds flat, my boyfriend chokes me until I tap out, laughing.
Welcome to my sanctuary.
Welcome to the dojo.


The author's comments:
I wrote this because I take karate and since I started, I've fallen in love with the sport and the dojo. The couple aspect is because I thought it'd be interesting to see how it would fit into a place where you're praised to beat each other in fights.

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This article has 27 comments.


on Oct. 3 2010 at 10:27 am
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Yeah this is one of them I didn't format to fit TI before submitting lol thanks =)

on Oct. 2 2010 at 10:17 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Teehee. This reminds me of my friend, whose boyfriend, early in their dating relationship, got to see her kick some guy's as.s at Tae Kwon Do. :) I'm not sure I liked the paragraphing, though---too short and choppy sometimes makes it hard to follow (and it doesn't help that TI messed up the formatting...:P) Good job, though!

on Sep. 3 2010 at 1:58 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

I'm not really sure how I could do that...I'd have to brain-storm. A lot. And I'm in the middle of...much writing (to put it simply). I'll keep that in mind, though. Thanks for the feedback =)

on Sep. 3 2010 at 11:22 am
Writer24 SILVER, Acton, Massachusetts
5 articles 0 photos 41 comments
I really really like this piece. It's a good suprise ending, and I loved the description of the karate, I never knew so much about it! I don't know if you've thought about it, but even though it ends really well, have you thought about maybe making it a first chapter? I could see it going well as a longer story as well if you wanted that.

on Sep. 1 2010 at 8:27 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Thank you =) I appreciate feedback!

on Sep. 1 2010 at 3:23 pm
JennaBeaSwimma SILVER, High Point, North Carolina
9 articles 13 photos 21 comments
Wow this is great!  I love your writing style in this story.

on Aug. 31 2010 at 12:02 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Thanks =) And I'm glad you could feel the emotion considering, well, I was writing the love for her sanctuary based on my love for my dojo...one of my sanctuaries. Thanks again for the feedback! xD

on Aug. 31 2010 at 12:00 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Karate is soooooo much more than this piece says...though this grabs my love for it, it doesn't list all the reasons (like for some reason, I love it when I wake up the next day and every muscle hurts when I move. It's an awesome feeling). It does show a bit of what classes are like, though, so you're right there =)

Thanks for the feedback! xD (Though I disagree. I don't think the ending is perfect...just the best I could do.) Thanks again!


Riki-Mo GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 10:06 am
Riki-Mo GOLD, Manassas, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 23 comments
I love the unexpected romance :)  The writing's really good - I can really feel all of the emotion, especially her love for her sanctuary.

Amiee said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 9:54 am

wow, this is cool

i never knew wat karate was like before and this gave me an idea

i loved the ending>< unexcepted yet perfect


on Aug. 23 2010 at 8:49 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Hahaha, thanks =) I'd love to repost this just to take out that one word for you, but I'd feel a little redundant doing that xP

Especially thanks for the vulnerability thing...I never realized I was doing that. It's a good thing to know. Thanks again!


on Aug. 23 2010 at 7:50 pm
squidzinkpen SILVER, Buffalo, New York
9 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The Irish gave the Scots the bagpipes as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet"- Irish Proverb

I like this. I like how personal it is and how vulnerable it feels. I mean, when people talk about where they're the safest they're at a weak point because it's just so private. I like it!

Quick correction:

"Soon, he pins me to the wall."

You don't need 'soon'.

Keep writing! I've read two of your stories, and they've both got an inchanting sense of innocence and vulnerability, which is a difficult thing for an author to have because they themselves are vulberable while writing. Good luck!


on Aug. 23 2010 at 7:34 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

You would not expect from the beginning that he'd say I love you or that he was her boyfriend. I like this, you're always wondering what's gonna happen next and I got hooked on it immediately. Good job! :)

on Aug. 23 2010 at 4:03 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Would be nice, wouldn't it? Haha xD

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 1:50 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

It is really fun!  It is actually a fairly easy sport to incorporate (we homeschool and ride horses so we are busy too) and it is one of my favorite things to do.  I have a "when I'm rich and have enough time" list too, oh to be able to do anything you wanted... :) ~AsIAm

on Aug. 23 2010 at 1:24 pm
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Oh haha xD I've always wanted to try fencing xP that's on my "maybe if I'm rich and have the time" list...along with about twenty other things. I admire people who mock-sword fight! =D

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 11:48 am
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

I don't mind at all!  I don't do martial arts, but I do fence (sort of a mock sword-fighting).  This is exactly how it feels when I am fencing, as we have to choose partners.  The only difference is the guy that this story reminds me of isn't my boyfriend. :)

on Aug. 23 2010 at 11:36 am
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Thanks so much xD And by you relating to the character, do you mean you take martial arts too, or you feel that way about something else? if you don't mind me asking =)

on Aug. 23 2010 at 11:34 am
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

haha, thanks :)

on Aug. 23 2010 at 11:25 am
mudpuppy BRONZE, Orangeburg, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 475 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of cheese and flower petal sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it just plain stinks. - M.J.

Five out of five, that's all I  can say.


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