Seven Days

July 25, 2010
By Eatfoodzap SILVER, Winchester, Massachusetts
Eatfoodzap SILVER, Winchester, Massachusetts
5 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. But if you can overcome the sacrifice and make it your own, you will gain an irreplaceable Fullmetal heart."- Edward Elric


Monday
…Was the day she said she wouldn’t talk to him for a week. He didn’t believe her; she liked him too much.
Tuesday
…He didn’t see her all day save for school. He still didn’t think she was serious.
She couldn’t be.
Wednesday
…Was the last day of school. Everyone was celebrating, laughing and cheering. Except for him. All he could see was her face, and how whenever she looked at him, her eyes would glaze over, passing him by.
He was starting to think she was serious, after all.
Thursday
…The silence was getting unbearable. He still had his friends, of course, and there were other girls willing to talk to him. But they weren’t the same.
They weren’t her.
Friday
…”Three more days,” was what he kept telling himself. “Just three more days.” It didn’t help though. Every time he saw her, laughing and talking with her friends, it sent a pang of longing through his heart.
He longed to hear her say his name.
Saturday
…He almost dropped to his knees and begged for forgiveness when he spotted her at the pool, her green sundress fluttering in the wind, brown curls perfectly framing her laughing face.
And still her eyes glazed over him.
Sunday
…The last day. He couldn’t believe how unbearably slow the week had seemed without her. Why did he feel this way? She was strange, a social outcast, while he was popular, always surrounded by friends and admirers. He couldn’t possibly like her as more than a friend.
Could he?
Monday
…He practically leapt up with joy when he woke up. Today was the day! He approached her cautiously though, burying his happiness under a blanket of remorse. He expected her to stay angry and hurt.
He didn’t expect the warm embrace, or the almost-silent whisper of “I forgive you.”


The author's comments:
I honestly don't know where this came from, but everyone seems to love it, so I hope you like it too! :3

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This article has 6 comments.


on Sep. 17 2010 at 6:29 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

This was really good.

I loved how you never said what he had done to offend her, it added a great sense of wonder throughout the piece :)  I can't say I cared how you passed the time though- the 'monday' 'tuesday' 'wenesday' thing is pretty used.

And way, 5 stars!!!

 


on Sep. 1 2010 at 12:13 pm
Eatfoodzap SILVER, Winchester, Massachusetts
5 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. But if you can overcome the sacrifice and make it your own, you will gain an irreplaceable Fullmetal heart."- Edward Elric

Thank you!

on Sep. 1 2010 at 12:11 pm
Eatfoodzap SILVER, Winchester, Massachusetts
5 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. But if you can overcome the sacrifice and make it your own, you will gain an irreplaceable Fullmetal heart."- Edward Elric

^-^ Thanks for your input! I appreciate it. :D

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 3:45 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

The good:  This was very cute and creative!  The feelings are very realistic - I remember feeling like this when I made myself wait another week before I called one of my guy friends so I didn't seem like a stalker. lol  Very good work!

The bad:  You could put in a few more details on what had happened, and if you were really feeling bold, you could do her point of view.  Just ideas!

The random:  I liked how you said he leapt with joy Monday morning.  It made me laugh because it was the type of thing everyone has done. :)


on Aug. 22 2010 at 12:39 am
Toria3339 SILVER, Newport Beach, California
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
i really really like this! it was very sweet :)

on Aug. 14 2010 at 10:52 pm
Mykindapeopledontcarewhatyouthink BRONZE, Gueydan, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 124 comments

FYI not YELLING MY KEYBOARD IS BROKEN. 

REALLY GOOD I FELT HIS EMOTION. 



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