Upside Down

July 27, 2010
By , Downers Grove, IL
Sometimes life can be so funny that it makes your stomach hurt. Sometimes life can really hurt that it makes you want to laugh to cover a stifled cry. A person, one person, that’s all it takes, can turn your world upside down. Suddenly, your life is full of purpose and sense. You know what you want. Everything is just as clear and simple as it was when you were a kid. And then, just as quickly as everything came together, it can all fall apart. It can all be taken away, just by one person.
You did that to me, did you know? Of course not. How could you? I tried not to ever let it show. I was too shy and you were too vain. You had friends that would never accept me. A status that I could never match. It was hopeless from the start. We could never be anything, and I still try to remind myself of that. And yet, I find myself missing your slight, gentle touches. The way you’d brush past against me or push yourself close to me. I want it back.

You’d tease, make fun of me, do the homework I never understood, and dared to get so close to me. I let you. But it was always under watchful eyes. I didn’t care. But I think you did, because we were never together. You always had girlfriends; popular queens. How many did you have in one year? Was it five or six? They were always mean to me, but still you were sweet.

But that’s what everyone says about a lady’s man. You fit the stereo-typical characteristics of an Italian boy; always sweet but mischievous with that intense, smoldering look in your brown eyes. What I would do to see it again. I close my eyes and I can see you, but I can’t remember your voice and precious memories have faded. I wanted to forget you and all the moments we had. I guess it worked because now I have to strain myself to remember and I’m not sure I want to replay the images in my head anymore. You’re like a drug. Even though I quit, I still suffer from permanent after effects.
Time has past and I hear people talk about you. From what they describe, you’re different now. But still the same. Not as innocent and sweet, just mischievous with nothing underneath. Though, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if we were to meet again. Sure, I occasionally see you, but we never speak. However, when our eyes meet, I think you are remembering me the way I remember you. My breath gets caught and for a split second, I am once again consumed by the thrill as you turn my world upside down.

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