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Unreal Reality

I walked down the beach, taking in all that was around me. There was the bright, crystal-blue water with varying types of sea-life swimming in its depths; the gold and yellow sand seemed to stretch out forever, with shards of silky shells half buried. As I walked I was overwrought with a feeling. This was a calm feeling, one of serenity; yet, something was not right. I looked into the sky

Flashing lights…

And saw a beautiful sunset. No, the sky was fine. What was wrong?



I thought of Peter, my beloved husband. How his embrace held me strong and lovingly. Suddenly I was frightened. Why was I frightened?



The birds in the sky flew in a sequence, their grayish-blue wings silently flapping against the setting sky. They made varied unknown shapes, as disorganized as a marching band at its first week of practice.



The radio was turned up and we laughed as we sang along.

Suddenly, the feeling vanished as I watched the flock of birds vanishing into what seemed to be a never ending distance. I continued to walk through the sand, squeezing it between my toes. I glanced around myself ,taking in my surroundings. When had I come to the beach anyways? The whole place was deserted, not another soul in sight. For some reason that seemed funny, even hysterical. The word irony popped into my head. Not… Another… Soul… In… Sight. I doubled over and burst out laughing. Why was this so funny? I wiped the tears of laughter away from my eyes and continued to walk on. I brought my hand to my face to brush back my hair from my eyes and realized it was pale.



We had had a fight that morning, something stupid. Pick up your laundry, maybe, or wash the dishes. A yelling match unusual for the two of us, hatred had never been a part of our vocabulary before.

Was I sick? I didn’t feel a need to cough, or even sneeze. I must be missing something, some important detail. What was it? I turned around and looked into the sand. Where were my footprints? The only footprints I could see went back about a hundred feet, but I had to have been walking for at least thirty minutes now. This seemed strange, but I threw it out of my mind.



I walked a little more then turned back around. The footprints seemed to have reappeared where they should have been. Maybe this is a dream? No, it felt, smelled and sounded too genuine to be surreal.



I closed my eyes and could hear Peter’s voice, smell his cologne. He always put some on in the mornings. He knew what I liked best and that was what he wore most often. It was a subtle smell, almost like a feeling and when he forgot to wear it, it felt like something was missing. When you go right up next to him though, the smell was fiery with passion.



Peter…



Where was Peter? Had he been upset when I last saw him? I searched through my mind. When had I last seen him? We were inseparable, yet I couldn’t remember. Why couldn’t I remember? Had something hit my head?



It was the first major fight in our marriage, we never really had fights because we could only stay mad at each other for a few minutes, anger wasn’t common in our coming up on ten year marriage. Something had been bothering him that morning. He hadn’t come home on time that night; something must have happened. “Did you fight with a co-worker?” I had asked him curiously. He had avoided the questionq and gone back to him dinner.



I walked further along the beach, shivering. It was the middle of July, and I was shivering. Or was it July? Maybe it was January, a cold month for the beach. Yes, this made sense, it must be January.



We laughed as the songs switched between oldie and rock, none too serious for giggling.



I looked in the sky. The sunset hadn’t changed. What was wrong with the sunset? The purples, oranges and reds mixed perfectly together, but they weren’t changing. By now the sun should have set. It should be pitch black. What was going on? My breathing sped up as I began to run. I turned around in circles, looking for a way out. But, no matter which way I turned, I was surrounded by coastline. What was happening?



Bah-bump…bah-bump…bah-bump… “Let’s go for a ride.” he said. I agreed, maybe this would be good for us. We got into the car and drove away from our little corner of the world, drove further and faster away.



“Look at the water.” The voice was hoarse and far-away sounding.

I walked closer to the beach and saw the brightly colored fish, their scales shining, as they swam in the crystal blue water. The fish reminded me of my wedding day. We had had an outdoor wedding near a koi pond. The koi fish had swam blissfully as I stared in the pond a few minutes before the service.

“Renee.” Peter tapped me and got my attention, dragging it away from the colorful fish. “Hey, good luck,” he said, flashing a smile. “You know, the guy you’re marrying is pretty lucky.”

“Yeah well, what can I say? I’m just a lucky charm.” I played along with him.

His eyes widened in surprise, “I’m a leprechaun? When did this happen? And aren’t I a wee bit tall for a leprechaun?” The bystanders around us watched, waiting to see if there was going to be another outburst.

“Stop it,” I said quietly. “You’re scaring the fish.”

“Oh. Well, sorry fish. Good-bye fish, I have to go get married to my proper English fiancée.” He said, waving at the pond. “See you at the end.” He whispered into my ear and kissed my cheek then retreated down the aisle.



My dad had said we were too young to get married, my mom said love knows no age. I think she was right, although I was only eighteen when we got married. Peter was nineteen. Getting married so soon was his idea; he wanted us to be together in college.



Peter and I were married in London on September 7th. It was hard to believe that was already almost ten years ago. He gave me everything I wanted. The perfect wedding, perfect day, perfect husband…



I was an artist by occupation and by choice. Peter was an editor for a large editing company. He was also the manager of that corporate branch. But Peter didn’t just edit books, he also wrote them. Writing was where he could escape when he was working. He hated working, because at work he had to be proper and serious when he’d much rather be with me.



I liked to work because I could paint and draw Peter as much as I found sufficient. He found it amusing, how many paintings I had done of him. He didn’t understand why I did so many. It wasn’t just because I loved him; it was also because he was the perfect subject.

He was tall, not a giant, but not short either. He was tall enough to where he could hug my head but he didn’t have to bend down to kiss me. His shaggy dark blonde hair hung down over his ears and framed his face. I picked on him though, saying he was brunette. He had a medium build and was slightly muscular. His eyes were a stunning ice-blue and they turned green when he was sad. He was calm, cool and collected while I was hyper, slightly immature, and perky.

We differed from each other but we weren’t complete opposites. I was tall, only about four inches shorter than him, and medium blonde hair. My hair was a pixie cut, short, straight and easy to run my fingers through. Like Peter, I also had blue eyes, but mine weren’t as brilliant as his, mine were sky blue with hazel rims. I was skinny, but not athletic. Coordinated was not something that came naturally. I was outgoing; he was shy, except around me and his brother Robbie.

Robbie was Peter’s older brother, they didn’t look identical but you could tell they came from the same family. Robbie was taller than Peter; so to me he was a giant. He had short, bright blonde hair and bright green eyes. He was skinny and quiet muscular. Like me, he was fun and out-going and people went to him went they needed a laugh. But he had one downfall; he had a temper. You had to be very careful what you said around him because he was a short fuse and was bound to blow anytime.



It was dark and the headlights of our car bounced brightly off the road ahead of us. Neither of us knew where we were going, neither did we care. The music seemed to fade away as I leaned my head against his shoulder. I thought about how perfect this moment was, how I wished time would fade away and stop right here. He leaned over in the car and kissed me, taking his eyes off the road for a couple of brief seconds. “You are so beautiful.” He whispered into my ear. “Stay awhile longer…”



All of the sudden I was dizzy; the world was spinning around me. The sky was changing colors from blacks, to reds, to blues. The ocean was a frantic imp; sending its chaotic waves to crash down on the beach furiously and feverishly. The wind blew with the wrath of an angry demon, pick up and throwing sand and debris everywhere. I shuddered and tried to hide my face as the stinging pebbles collided with my skin.



“What have I done to deserve this…?” I yelled into my hands as I fell on my knees. “What have I done?” I whispered to nowhere. My hands were turning transparent and my mind seemed to be turning on and off. Suddenly, a rock bigger then all the others, hit my head and

Flashing lights…

it all



The radio was turned up and we laughed as we sang along.

came



We laughed as the songs switched between oldie and rock, none too serious for giggling.

back.



Peter…

He was gone.



We had had a fight that morning, something stupid. Pick up your laundry, maybe, or wash the dishes. A yelling match unusual for the two of us, hatred had never been a part of our vocabulary before.



It was the first major fight in our marriage, we never really had fights because we could only stay mad at each other for a few minutes, anger wasn’t common in our coming up on ten year marriage. Something had been bothering him that morning. He hadn’t come home on time that night; something must have happened. “Did you fight with a co-worker?” I had asked him curiously. He had avoided the question and gone back to his dinner.



Bah-bump…bah-bump…bah-bump… “Let’s go for a ride.” he said. I agreed, maybe this would be good for us. We got into the car and drove away from our little corner of the world, drove further and faster away.



It was dark and the headlights of our car bounced brightly off the road ahead of us. Neither of us knew where we were going, neither did we care. The music seemed to fade away as I leaned my head against his shoulder. I thought about how perfect this moment was, how I wished time would fade away and stop right here. He leaned over in the car and kissed me, taking his eyes off the road for a couple of brief seconds. “You are so beautiful.” He whispered into my ear. “Stay awhile longer…”



“It’s over.” I realized.



We had crashed with another car, the only two on the road. Ours had tipped over and rolled, five times. I was killed on impact, as was Peter. The driver of the other car had been Robbie; he had been drunk, not realizing what was happening. He had fought with his wife that afternoon, and then had gone drinking. We had been the escape he was headed to when he crashed. He was in a hospital.



In a hospital somewhere, regretting the choices he had now made in life. “Be safe and don’t fret.” I whispered into the setting sun as I started to drift away to a world unknown, to heaven, “I forgive you.” I vanished into the clouds, and was soon with Peter again. Till death do you part was an understatement, we were bound for eternity and beyond.





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