To Die For

By , Cape Elizabeth, ME
A blast of cold wind rocked her as she stood on the bridge to the mainland. She took a sharp intake of breath and looked down. Stupid idea. Now she had to start the claming process over again. I love how I have to calm myself down before jumping. Who cares if I’m scared? She thought with a grim little smile. No one. She answered herself and the smile vanished. This morning, she thought she would be in the back of Caleb’s car by now, but instead, she was on a bridge about to get rid of all the pain in her life. It happened after their last class of the day. Caleb had been acting a little distant, but report cards were coming out, and he was always tense that time of year. There was only one thing that Caleb cared about more than getting into a good college; playing sports. In particular, lacrosse. He was convinced that he was going to make it big playing lacrosse, but his parents were doctors, and so he had to get into a good college.

She was at her locker when she felt his familiar hands slip around her waist and pull her close. He then said, “I love you” and that was it. No more story... She desperately wished that was the way it happened. But, back to reality. She was at her locker when she felt his eyes staring at her back. She turned around and relief flooded through her. “Caleb! Hey! Are... are... are you...” She trailed off, her question answered in his eyes. No, he was not okay.

“Kristin, we need to talk.” He said, not unkindly. Kristin nodded and followed him, through the bustling of high schoolers trying to escape the school as fast as they can, to a little alcove. He turned around so suddenly she walked into him. He jumped back as if burned. She felt her heart sink. I’m his girlfriend, why did he just jump like that? What’s wrong?

“What’s up?” She asked, trying to cover up how nervous she was. Caleb said nothing until the sound of the last pair of high-heeled boots clicking on the linoleum faded away. He sighed and lifted his eyes from her light brown uggs so they were looking into hers.

“Kristin, what we’ve had was fun, but...” At this point his eyes left her and stared at some point above her left shoulder. “But... we’re through.” She couldn’t breathe. I love you. Don't you know that? I thought you loved me back. What changed? How could you not love me anymore? Did you ever love me? She desperately searched his eyes to see if he was playing some sort of sick joke, but he was dead serious. “I’m sorry.” He gave her one more glance, turned his back on her and walked away.

She collapsed and started sobbing. She felt as if he had taken everything out of her and left her as a hollow shell. She was nothing without him. After an unknown amount of time, she got the strength to stand up and walk. She wandered around town with nowhere to go and no purpose. And that is how she ended up on the bridge. By now it was about 4 o’clock and the sky was streaked with deep reds and oranges. On any other day, she would have looked at the sky with a sense of awe; it was one of the most beautiful sunsets she had seen in a while. Today, she did not understand how the sun could still set, how life could thrive, when her world no longer existed. She was finally calm and had no intentions of chickening out now. One more deep breath and it would be over. She picked up her foot and watched it slide to the edge of the bridge. This was it. She really smiled for the first time and was completely calm and serene.

She leaned over the edge and then... “KRISTIN!” It was Caleb’s voice. She spun around, saw him running towards her, his face that was full of fear and worry, and reached her arm out to him. Caleb’s hand shot out to grab hers, but it was too late. She had lost her balance as she spun around and gravity pulled her towards the dark, cold water. “NOOO!” Caleb screamed after her. He loves me! He really loves me! He lo... she crashed into the water. The last thing she saw was Caleb, her beloved Caleb, leaning over the edge his arm extended towards her. She kept that vision in her mind as she floated, the cold making movement impossible. As the last of her breath bubbled up to the surface, she smiled gently and let the blackness take her.





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