3-12-10; the night of the dance. I was so nervous to go to the dance and dance with you. I began getting ready. I put on my shorts, my blank cami, and my t shirt with openings in the back. That night you came over to me and just stole me away from my friends and started dancing with me. I went back over with my friends and within the next five minutes…you came looking for me again. I knew I was utterly in love with you and smiled every time I saw your face. You stole me once again and this time…you began to makeout with me. I didn’t know how to makeout and pulled away fairly quickly. I could taste the alcohol on your breath and I could see the flashing lights all around us, even when I closed my eyes. We danced again, you began to slide your hand down to the point where your hands were in my butt pockets. You reached in and grabbed my id card. You looked at it and put it back fairly quickly. You were the hottest guy on the dance floor. You would make random comments about how I was beautiful and this is what I miss about you. Your friends would come up to us and we would stop dancing. They would make the comment about how you were so lucky to have me, I agree. You kissed me at least three more times that night and were mostly always by my side no matter what. I love you Erik. 3-16-10; the day you asked me to be your girlfriend. I said yes and was the happiest girl alive. We held hands every chance we could. You kissed me every chance you had. And we cherished every moment we had together. We have so many memories. You’re my ninja, my FNC (fast ninja cheetah), and your also my one and only…true love. We spent the next month just hanging out with each other and enjoying each other’s company. You called me your ninja, your FNT (fierce ninja tiger), and the best girlfriend you have ever had. I miss these days. We would walk around the field and just talk and talk. It seemed as if I knew you forever. As if I had always loved you. As if you had always loved me…I miss these days. I wonder if you do too. I wonder if you ever think about me, or how im doing. I wonder if I ever even cross your mind. Im crazy about you still…can you not see that.? I love you my baby. Ooohhh. And don’t let me forget…you use your big boy words to sound smart and to try to impress me. Hahaa. We had so many good times together…I just don’t get why you decided to throw them away. You now have a friend with benefits and no longer need me as an accessory. All I was doing was holding you back…so you think. You smoke, you drink, and you have sex. Don’t come crying to me, or anyone else complaining how you screwed up and all you want is a second chance…because you don’t deserve one. Im the one that needs that second chance to prove you wrong. Even though you’re a complete jerk, I still deserve one chance to prove you wrong. I cry over you, Erik. I look back at the good days and notice I still love you. But the other thing I notice too is you don’t love me back, and this is what hurts the most.
The Beginning and The End
July 4, 2010