Speechless- something I’ve never been before; that is until now. I never thought that I would run out of words to describe you; sometimes amazing, adorable, smart, athletic, but sometimes evil, mean, a heartbreaker. I always thought that I’d have something to say about you. That you’re too cool for me, that you’re popular, that you’re writing is incredible, that you drive me utterly insane; but this time I’m done. I’m not saying I’ll ever give up on you, because I never will. Even when I’m dating someone, maybe even when I truly know what love is, you will be poking at the back of my brain and at some place in my heart. I’ll never stop liking you, no matter how many times you hurt me without knowing it, or how many times you like me and leave me. It doesn’t matter, because you’ll never read this, but I have nothing left to say to you just because nothing I say will make a difference; you’ll only think I’m crazy, which I undoubtedly am. I’ve tried to explain to others what I’m feeling; but no one seems to want to listen, or at least no one seems to care. So instead of explaining it to you, I’ll just hold it all inside. I’ve gone over everything in my head. I’ve said all that can be said, although you’ll never know.
July 6, 2010