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Do you love me?

“I love you.” he states over the phone, his rich angel’s voice hesitant and tender. He can make it sound like anything.

Oh, you love me now? You shouted at me, called me an idiot, a b****. That was love? When you left me waiting in that fancy dress that I’d bought all for you, at that expensive restaurant I’d had to spend a fortune in gas on to reach—left me waiting there pathetically all night while you cavorted around with some other woman. You call that love? I confronted you—you struck me. I can still feel the flash of pain across my face though it is days later. So this is your idea of love.

“Do you love me?” he whispers brokenly. Did he just ask me that? Did that son of a b**** just ask me that? After all he’s done, he has the nerve to ask me if I love him. I have the nerve to consider the question. My once-dreamy hazel eyes gaze through curling lashes at sights only I can see.

You, holding me in your strong, secure arms. Running your fingers through my dark, curly brown hair. Stroking my prominent, milky-white cheekbone. Whispering sweet secrets in my ear. Kissing my full red lips so gently and emotionally that my head swam for days. Do I love you?

“Yes,” I said dully. “Yes I do.” Wonderful. Did I really have to say that? Now he’ll think I’ve forgiven him.

“Will you give me another chance?” he asks, full of apprehension. Give him another chance? Another chance to carefully mend my heart, only to rip it to shreds? He must be joking.

But who am I fooling? I know the monster that beautiful exterior conceals. I know the infidelity, the lies, the cruelty. And I love him. I love him, I miss him, I want to be with him.

I’ve always prided myself on being a sensible girl. Intelligent, logical, always making the right choice. Right now, my heart and mind were grappling for the right to make this oh-so-important choice. They fought as viciously as a pair of wild dogs, but in the end, I proved myself correct. The mind won out. Self-preservation won out. Love lost.

“No,” I say curtly, and slam the phone down definitively, only to slowly slide down the wall until my head rests in my lap, salty drops splashing onto my crossed legs, sobs echoing throughout the desolate building. I made the right choice. I know I did. Then why does it hurt so much?




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angel_of_silenceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm:
This wa awsome, i love how you kept it real
 
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WordartistThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 23, 2012 at 8:42 am:
one simple word to describe such a piece: AMAZING!
 
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JuliaRubyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 23, 2012 at 2:54 am:
loved it. well done
 
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forevermore147 said...
May 22, 2012 at 1:30 pm:
WOW that is so beautiful!!!!
 
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BlaZeStar said...
Feb. 24, 2012 at 9:05 am:
LOVE th song!!!
 
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Eggie94 said...
Jan. 11, 2012 at 10:41 pm:
I absolutely love "White Horse" and I love how you based your story on it. Good Job! :)
 
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DimitriLover said...
Jan. 11, 2012 at 12:36 pm:
OMD! It's from "White Horse"! LOVE her and LOVE that song!
 
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NKsunshine said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 5:26 pm:

White Horse<3<3

This is the perfect way to put this song on paper(:

 
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livlaughluv99 said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm:
Amazing! wow!
 
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jordiebell555 said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 12:36 pm:

That was truly amazing!i loved it, keep writting.

 

 
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shedevil said...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 7:44 am:
This is truley amazing ! It shows that sometimes making the right decision for yourself , may not be the easiest . I loved it , keep writting ! (:
 
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BroadwayBaby said...
Jan. 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm:
Hi, you commented that you wanted a story reviewed on my Free Feedback forum. I couldn't find it so I decided to reveiw this one. It is AMAZING! It reminds me of Taylor Swift's song White Horse (if you watch the music video) I love the feelings in this story and the fact that she told him she loved him, and she still didn't give him another chance. Genius, pure genius.
 
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Madi L. said...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 3:12 pm:
aww, u wrote this after white horse by taylor swift
 
butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 8:40 pm :
Yep:) We have a winner.
 
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Caitlin P of Concord said...
Sept. 30, 2010 at 7:48 pm:
You commented on my story "Angel Wings" that my story left you speechless. Well honey, you've done that and more to me right now! superb job, and i hope you keep it up
 
butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 30, 2010 at 7:58 pm :
Oh, thank you so much! And if I said it, I meant it.
 
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Iluvmybff said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:48 pm:
Something like this happened to me. When it does I listento Taylor Sift (i love her songs too) and i write it all down.
 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:51 pm :
I'm sorry:( Mercifully this didn't actually happen to me, but it could.
 
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Victoria.Elizabeth said...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 9:22 pm:
I have really enjoyed your work. You are a fantastic writer! (Sorry it took me so long to finally comment after you commented on my short story "The High Dive.") I loved how I could so relate to this. I just went through an experience similar to this. Great description. The only suggestion I would have is to maybe cut out a little description. Personally I love lots of detail but sometimes, especially in cases of "dreamy" guys, it can be better to make his/her look more mysterious al... (more »)
 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 9:40 pm :
Thank you! It's no problem, people are busy:D I"m sorry for whatever happened to you.  And thanks for the suggestion:D
 
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