She's Gone

June 23, 2010
By Gummy_Ummy_Worm BRONZE, Georgetown, California
Gummy_Ummy_Worm BRONZE, Georgetown, California
2 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are a million people out there that will say you can't. What you've got to do is turn right around and tell them 'watch me.'


He stood at her bedside, rubbing her ivory, lifeless arm as tears swelled in his eyes. Blood smudged her beautiful, porcelain-like face, that looked to be almost breakable if his lips even touched hers. Her eyelids covered her beautiful, electric, bright, sapphire blue eyes. His ears begged to hear her chime-like voice, that called for attention. Her normal violet scent covered by the scent of coppery blood and he could practically feel the distasted hatred. He softly stroked her gilded brown hair, that had strokes of golden blonde within it. Finally, after an hour, it set in and he broke down sobbing. He fell to his knees, sobbing into her lavender sheets that were stained slightly with her crimson red blood. He shook, rage and sadness drowning him.


He looks at her hand, and softly takes it in his. He kisses it softly and stares at her once more. “Oh my dear, lifeless, breathless, Alireese… I swear my darling, I shall avenge whomever has done this to you….” He softly whispers, running a hand through her hair lightly. Slowly, he stands, tucking the fragile girl in with her beautiful rose pattern comforter. He takes a deep breath and turns away, shutting his golden brown eyes and leaving the dark blue room that had been drenched in sparkles.


“Luxor.” He hears his name as he is about to leave Alireese’s home. With hopes high, he whips around, just to have his hopes crushed once more. It was the girl’s mother. He softly sighs and nods.


“Yes, Mrs. Gillian?” He whispers, looking at the spitting image of Alireese. She had long, curling brown hair, and emerald green eyes, she was not tall, around 4’10” at the most. She had a soft round face that was beautifully clear.


“Luxor, I have a letter addressed to you. It was found when Alireese was found.” She says, holding up an ivory white envelope. His eyes widened and bulged from his head. He races to snatch the letter from Mrs. Gillian’s hand. His finger slices through the envelope, ripping it perfectly open. He grabs the letter from the envelope and flips it quickly open.


Luxor.

I told you I’d take the most precious thing from you. I told you. I warned you a thousand of times. Now lookie here. Your girlfriend is DEAD. Gone. What you going to do? Kill me? Go ahead and try to find me.

GOOD LUCK LUXOR.


The letter flutters to the ground, his face blank. He never thought the person would…



Luxor gains the strength to pick the letter back up and shakily puts it in the pocket of his black leather coat. “Th-Thank you Mrs. Gillian.” He whispers, then swiftly running out of the house.


Into the grassy landscape, where sun always shone, he stares into the forest. “Why…” The pain that swelled inside him was taken over by the rage of this killer. Now, with the swear buzzing in his head to Alireese, he was furious. Simply furious. He was willing to kill whomever, what ever it took to revenge Alireese’s death.


The author's comments:
This was a 12 a.m. project that I thought up, somewhere crossed between mid-evil ages and present day.

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This article has 8 comments.


on Jul. 8 2010 at 1:31 am
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
36 articles 14 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

i really liked this piece. it had a forceful presence that was a mix between anger, hate, and love. it made everything more real. a bit over descriptive at times, but that might be your way of having Luxor express is deep passion and commitment to Alireese. good job!

on Jul. 5 2010 at 8:40 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks!  And it's no problem, I enjoyed reading and commenting on this piece.

on Jul. 5 2010 at 8:35 pm
Gummy_Ummy_Worm BRONZE, Georgetown, California
2 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are a million people out there that will say you can't. What you've got to do is turn right around and tell them 'watch me.'

Thank you very much, and I will be sure to check out your work ^_^

on Jul. 5 2010 at 8:34 pm
Gummy_Ummy_Worm BRONZE, Georgetown, California
2 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are a million people out there that will say you can't. What you've got to do is turn right around and tell them 'watch me.'

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the peice ^_^

on Jul. 5 2010 at 8:34 pm
Gummy_Ummy_Worm BRONZE, Georgetown, California
2 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are a million people out there that will say you can't. What you've got to do is turn right around and tell them 'watch me.'

Oh gosh, thank you. :) I absolutely will check your things out :D

Sliva23 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 2 2010 at 9:26 pm
Sliva23 BRONZE, Melbourne, Other
3 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.

This piece made me feel like crying soo much
I loved it tho

on Jul. 1 2010 at 11:05 pm
cheyenneduhon PLATINUM, Lumberton, Texas
31 articles 0 photos 144 comments
I really really loved this. It really made me think...You never really see yourself as others do...you can tell that Luxor really thinks Alireese was beautiful. Great descriptions, this really had a lot of emotion. & I see it was a midnight write...& if you're like me..you can really bring out your emotions late at night...This was really good. Keep writing, and if you dont mind, i would love to hear your thoughts on some of my writing!!

on Jun. 30 2010 at 4:28 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This is incredible, very sad and angry, wonderfully described.  Excellent job. Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?



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