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To Those Who Got Away, and Those Who Haven't Happened Yet

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Dear First Boyfriend,
I’d really like to thank you for asking me to Homecoming, you made me feel beautiful. Thank you for holding me, kissing me, telling me how lovely my eyes are, and for making up a new language just for us. Thank you for showing me how amazing it is to have someone else there for you, and for opening up an entirely new world to me.
However, I don’t thank you for breaking up with me because I was shy and quiet. I also don’t thank you for coming out as gay a couple months later. I mean, really. You should have just told me that to begin with, so that I wouldn’t start picking apart my entire personality and trying to scrub out all of the shy in me. But I’m sort of glad you did, since you’re such a nice person and a good friend and I don’t know what I would do without you and your boy advice. And because of your telling me I was too shy, I worked on becoming a more confident and outgoing person.

Dear Second Boyfriend,
Thanks for asking me to Prom! And thanks for being so many firsts for me, even though you were my second. First dirty dancing, first make-out, first clumsy groping.
But I have to say, I really don’t appreciate you breaking up with me after a week and a half because you just don’t see me as anything more than a friend. I also don’t appreciate the fact that you plastered our break-up all over Twitter, and I do believe my mild dislike for you turned into extreme hate when you started talking about how you were pressured into asking me out on your Formspring.
Jerk.

Dear Cute Boy Working at Urban Outfitters,
You’re next.




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courteycat said...
Jul. 3, 2010 at 11:50 am:
I love it it was well-written and pretty funny.
 
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Annabelle294 said...
Jul. 3, 2010 at 10:30 am:
I love this! It's too funny, and very well written.
 
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gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 1, 2010 at 9:44 pm:

Lol, this was HILARIOUS!  I loved it!  Very funny, realistic, and well-written.  Excellent job.  Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

 
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love.in.the.airThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 10:06 pm:
please tell me ur continuing this :)
 
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