Division of Love

June 1, 2010
“Abby...Abigail...Over here! Turn around!” I look around in confusion. It sounds like Ryan but he wouldn't be at this kind of party.
“Ryan? Is that you? What are you doing here?”
“Well Danny said you would be here so I thought I would come and hang out with you.”
“Ryan this is a drinking party. You never come to these kinds of parties. If I remember correctly you said ‘ Drinking is for kids who are stupid and insecure and that I would never and I mean never be at those kinds of parties.”
Ryan grabs my hand and twists his fingers between mine. It makes me whole body tingle. His lips start to curve up at the edges and a little laugh escapes.
“Yes that’s true. I did say that. I’m not here to drink though. I’m here to rescue you from all this mayhem.” He slowly starts making his way through the drunken crowd as best at possible without getting trampled. I know that if I ask Ryan to stop and let me get one more drink he would insist on carrying me out the door. Right then I saw my friend Michelle with some vodka in her hand. Any one could tell that she was way over the legal limit for alcohol so I thought it would be proper to take the drink away from her and drink it myself. When Ryan pulled me close enough to grab the cup I did just that. I gulped it down before he realized I had slowed down to almost a stop. Michelle didn’t even care that I took her precious drink. She just got another as fast as her drunken mind would let her.

As soon as we step outside into the fresh air I inhale it quickly hoping it would clear my head a little.
“Ryan where are you taking me?” I asked as we were going down the little grassy side of the hill. I feel myself stumble on my feet and take a head first hit into the hill. My body slowly roles to a stop and I hear Ryan rushing to my side. I spit the grass and flower pedals out of my mouth to laugh for when seems like ages.

The next thing I know I’m laying on my bedroom floor with a bucket next to me. I look in the bucket for some reason and that’s when the most disgusting smell hit me. Only then did it occur to me that that bucket was my puke bucket.
As soon as I’m sure I can stand without falling I go straight to the bathroom and take two ibuprofen.
I head out to the kitchen to get some coffee but my mother’s arguing interrupts me. I abruptly stop and, out of instincts, slink into the shadow of the door.
“She is my responsibility and as a single mother I am doing a damn good job!” I open my mouth to defend myself before I realized she is defending me to someone on the phone. In response to my mother’s reply I hear murmuring coming from the other end of the phone. Then I heard Ryan’s name. So I go into my room and pick up the phone.
“Ms. Jacob, I know that Abigail is a lot to handle and I would be glad to help with whatever I can but Ryan has been spending to much time with your daughter. My son is the star athlete on the football team and volunteers regularly at Red Cross. I’m afraid that Abigail might bring him down from that.”
“My daughter gets good grades as well. Maybe not all A’s but no lower than C’s. I know for a fact that my Abby and your Ryan are in love and there is nothing we can do to stop that, Mrs. Adams.” Click.
Ryan’s mother hangs up the phone. I feel my heart pump faster.
Mrs. Adams is known for over reacting when it comes to Ryan. When Ryan was in 4th grade he got a B on a project report so she thought his teacher was picking on him so Mrs. Adams changed his class. I hope she isn’t going to do something drastic. Instead of dwelling on that I run to the kitchen to ask my mother what happened.

“Mom what’s going on?” I ask as I sit down on the dinning room chair. We don’t use it often unless we have company so it was very dusty. Squeak as I try to scoot my chair closer to my mom.
“Ryan’s mom called. She said that she doesn’t want you to two see each other anymore. I have no idea what’s going on. Did something happen again?” My mom asks with more thought than normal.

“No Mom nothing happened.” I wanted to tell her what had really happen but she has been through so much as it is. I couldn’t hurt her like that. Not again.

“I swear that woman has more worries than a fly in a spider web.” She says as she gets up to get a drink of water.
“I know you’re worried about what’s happening over their so take my car and drive down to the Adam’s house. I want you home by 11:00pm sharp. No excuses. Be careful. I love you Tabby- Abby.” My mom has called me that since I was a little girl. She says that I would always remind her of a kitty cat. Whenever she calls me that I feel like I want to go back to when I was 5 and I could sit in my mommy’s lap whenever I got a boo-boo or hurt. That would be the life.

‘Thanks Mom. I won’t, promise. I love you to.” I give her a huge smile and give her a

I grab the car keys off the table on my way out. My mom won’t let me drive her ‘work’ car, which is a Porsche. So instead I drive the mini-van that she got back when she wanted to be a ‘soccer mom.’ I roll my eyes. Yeah right. That day will never come.

As I’m driving to Ryan’s house I start to wonder what made Mrs. Adams flip out so bad. I mean it’s no secret that I drink but I don’t make Ryan do anything. He is too good for that.

It’s not long till I pull into the Adam’s driveway. I notice that no cars are there so everyone must have left besides him. Their house is two stories with a small garden in the back where Mrs. Adam’s plants roses, sunflowers, and tulips every year. Mr. Adam’s re-paints the white with blue trimming house every year. He says ‘a well keep up house shows that a well keep family lives inside.’
Ding-Dong. As soon as the last ‘dong’ of the doorbell sounds Ryan swings open the door. When he realized its me he engulfs me in his broad shoulders almost squeezing me to death.
“Ryan... I ..can’t ....breathe...” I finally manage to choke out. He instantly lets go.
“I’m sorry I’m just so happy to see you!” He looks at me like it’s the last time we will see each other. He wraps his arm around my waist and gives me a kiss that leaves me breathless.

“Come on I have somewhere I want to take you.” He says as he tugs me to his black Toyota.

“Where are we going?” I ask. I don’t like not knowing where he takes me.
“You will see.” He says with a mysterious grin. He reaches over and grabs my hand. With my free hand I turn up the radio. I hate the silence. It’s creepy. The song “I want you to want me” by Cheap Trick blasts from the speakers. Ryan chuckles.
“Do you remember this song?” He questions with look I didn’t recognize.
“Yes in fact I do. This is our song.” I squeeze his hand a little.
“Didn’t think you remembered. Oh. This is our stop.” He pulls off the road onto a dirt path. The gravel under the truck makes the whole car bounce up and down. He slows the car down to a stop and gets out. I open my door also and slide out of the truck. I have learned from experience that if I don’t slide out I will fall and embarrass myself.

“Come on. This way.” Ryan leads me to the little patch of beautiful flowers of endless colors. The weeds were overgrown but look amazing mixed in with the different types of flowers and trees. He walks ahead of me as I gaze out in amazement of my wonderful surroundings. It is insane how one person called Our God could have made all this. I look out to my right and in the far field I see a mother deer and her young gnawing on the grass.
I walk over to Ryan where he sits on the tree log that’s over grown with moss.
“Ryan this is amazing. How did you find this.” I wonder as I sit next to him and wrap my arms around him.
“Sometimes you have to get lost before you find your way.” Ryan states. He kisses my head. “You know what we should do? We should make this our spot. “Ryan then pulls out a brown pocketknife. I remembered that his dad gave it to him on his 17th birthday along with his black Toyota. As I’m remembering his latest birthday gifts he is carving our initials in the tree trunk. I slide down off the trunk to the mossy floor next to him. I rest my left arm on the trunk and start to trace my right finger over our initials. RA + AJ.
“I want to be with you forever Abby.” Ryan engulfs me in his grasp ad whispers in my ear “I love you.”
“Oh Ryan I love you to.” I pull away from him just enough to give him a kiss. His hand rests on the back of my neck with his fingers entwined in my hair.
“I promise I will never leave you.” After Ryan has said that we hear the roar of an engine. At first I think his is being stolen but then I see his mother running towards us.
“Mom! What are you doing here?!” Ryan cries.
“You are in big trouble! I told you to stay away from her and look what you do. You are here making out with her like your some kind of animal.” She grabs Ryan by his upper arm and yanks his up. Ryan extends his free arm out to me.
“Abigail I love you! I always have, always will. I will never forget you! I love you!” That is the very first time Ryan has said that to me. We have known each other since 3rd grade and have been dating for 3 years but we have never said that to one another. I can feel my heart start to swell in joy.
“I love you to Ryan!” Ryan grins the best he can with out his tears over flowing. Mrs. Adams puts Ryan in her car and slams the door. She walks back over to me and spits on the moss right next to my feet.
“You will never see Ryan again. I have known you were a bad influence for him from the beginning.” She gets in the driver side and drives off leaving only the dirt trial as proof of her being her.
My feelings eventually take over my body. I curl up in a tiny ball and cry until my stomach aches. I sob into the moss for almost an hour until I realize I have no way of getting home before dark other than walking. As I stand up my head feels like it’s going to pop. My legs feel like Jell-O and my heart is aching in indescribable pain.

It took me almost two hours to walk home. As I walk in the door I call out my mother’s name. She cocks her head and runs towards me. “Abigail what happened? What did he do to you?” She grabs my shoulders and shakes me a little as if to wake me up.
“He didn’t do anything Mom. She took him. She left with him.” I started to cry and I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed.
“I’m going to go to my room Mom. Night.” I says with out looking at her as I roboticlly walk to my room. I plop myself on my bed with all my weight. I slowly drift off to sleep that night.
Four years later I wake up with an awful hangover and a craving for doughnuts. I slowly sit up and put on some worn out shorts and a blue shirt. I throw up my hair in a ponytail and grab the car keys and sandals and run out the door to the car.

I walk into Mama’s Bakery and walk up to the guy at the counter. His nametag said Roger. He smiles and says, “Welcome to Mama’s Bakery. What can I get for you?”
I try to smile but just can’t seem to. I open my mouth and start to order but I get cut off with the women behind the counter yelling, “Your order is ready Mr. Adams.” I look over at her and whisper “Adams. Where have I heard that before?”
Roger hears me and laughs “It’s a pretty common name Miss. Now if you could order.” he says getting irritated. I scowl at him and it clicks “Adams. Ryan Adams!” I walk towards the women and see Ryan standing there paying her money for his order.
I tap him on the shoulder “Ryan?” I ask cautiously not sure if he would remember me.
Ryan turns over to me and smiles “Abby? Wow. How are you? How is your mom?” He asks.
I sigh and smile “Let’s get some coffee and talk.” We walk over to a small table and sip our coffee he bought for us.
“So. How is your mom?” Ryan asks.
I look right at him and say “She died a year after you disappeared.” I state not sure how to word it. He looks up at me and looks back at the ground.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He says.
“I wouldn’t expect you to. You left. Why?” I ask getting frustrated.
“Well. That day at our spot when my mom found us she sent me to my Uncle in New York. And then he sent me to Queens for college to become an architect. I never forgot about you Abby. I loved you. I missed you every minute.” His eyes start to swell.
“Why didn’t you call? Or write or something?”
“I didn’t because I thought you would have gotten on with your life. Moved on. A clean cut heals faster.” Ryan said.
I look down at his box

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