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Magic Air

I wasn't convinced.

Maybe he thought I should have been by his fatal words, but I wasn't. We had spent too many summer nights together,
too many skipped school days wasting away in the back of his truck on the beach- just scourching in the sun.

I was afriad. Probably of rejection, depression, and the buckets full of tears awaiting me when he turned around and
walked away for what felt like would be the last time. It's felt like that before, though. The feeling was always the same
whenever he left. It was a consistent cold, lonely, madness eating away at my bones. I couldn't bear it, to be honest.

I wasn't convinced.

"I'm about done here," I began, "Are you?"

His thin pink lips spread an expression of confusion. "Done? With... what?"

"Done. Just done. With everything."

His pale blue eyes wandered off, to across the sand. I hadn't prepared myself for a reaction so stern; so
unchangeable. The thing was, he had a girlfriend. He's had a girlfriend ever since I met him. One of them was even a good
friend of mine. Somehow tangled in the triangle, I became twisted. Who knows when, where, or how it happened. It just did.

As his hands began to delicately graze my arm, I felt the same "I'm only your friend" feeling. It burned me- even
more than the California summer sun. "Jen-"

He was cut off by a monsterous ringtone; his ringtone. I shrugged off dealing with the sounds of him mushing and
gushing to Maddie. Instead, I drowned out the noise with the beach sounds. The sounds of the waves smashing the shore were
sure loud, but not loud enough. The obnoxious seagulls chirping through the atmosphere were loud, too- but still not loud
enough. I thought I might fall over and die right then and there.

He cut the call short. Lucky for me. I wasn't in the mood for this. And I wasn't convinced.

"You know..." He started, while the cat was tearing at his tongue, "We need to hang out more. I miss the Jenna Foster
that I used to build sandcastles with when we were little. I hate growing up, Jenna, I really, really do."

I sighed, "Why do you think our parents both got divorces? Why do you think my mom pops a million pills per day. They
hate their lives. I always thought having free roam was easy. I guess it's not like what they show you in a movie."

He laughed and concurred. But I still wasn't convinced. "So I have a question." I perked up.

"Okay..."

"What is it about Maddie? And what was it about Kendra? I know, I know. Difficult question to answer. But I figure
if you can get one-hundred percent on the chem tests, then maybe you could spare me some knowledge about this..."

His expression faded from casual and relaxed to frigid and cold. So so cold... he looked like he was a penguin trying
to waddle down a glacier. Mentally I begged for a resolution, because I would never be convinced until his lips hit mine,
just like that October evening. No matter what he said I wouldn't be convinced.

"Oh Jen, test scores don't reflect how smart a person is. Haven't you figured it out? I cheat on basically
everything... well, not everything. And not technically cheating either. I more or less just ask friends for the answers
before the test is in my hands... it got me into Stanford, so who says cheating is bad?"

I grew more anxious. From what I could tell, he didn't understand nor listen to a word I had said. My feelings
weren't a doormat for his dirty feet to stomp on. They were a mattress for his clean slate. I was emotionally mortified.
Devastated. And to make matter's worse... the sun was descending. A romantic setting for rejection was almost too ironic.
I wasn't having it.

"Look, I gotta go."

I attempted a high-paced walk to my Cavalier, but was gripped by his warm palms on my wrist. Feelings were feelings,
and the warmth wasn't from the thick California sun. "Jenna... Please. Don't do that to me. It's so... unnecessary."

I pretended to not care but it must have been clear that my ears were open to whatever sounds were around, as long as
they were from behind his soft lips. He could have cussed and I wouldn't have even flinched.

"Jen... I'm not sorry that any of that happened. Because if it didn't, I wouldn't have ever known."

"Known, uh.. what?"

He laughed under his breath, "About us."

No response was triggered from inside of me. Instead, I just turned back towards the ocean as he also did. "So....
Have you ever built a California sandcastle before, miss?"

A smile played across his lips as he spoke to me, and the smile that I always gave in result of his died. He wasn't
why I smiled- for the first time in months; years.

"Not in a while... but, maybe you should refresh my memory." I responded.

He took hold of my hand. "Okay, I just hope you can keep up."





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gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:27 am

That was really cute, nicely described, great emotions.  Very well-written and interesting plot line.  Excellent job.  Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

 
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