Flirting With Fractions MAG

May 26, 2010
By aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments

One-eighth of me, or maybe a tenth, is acutely aware of the approximately 22 inches that separate your shoulder and mine. One casual shift later, I'm four inches closer. I can always just blame it on your magnetic force pulling me in.

One or two-fifths of me is analyzing your body language subtly. Have you inched closer to me, or is it just wishful thinking? I'm simply an academically inclined girl, dull next to your golden shine. The odds are not in my favor.

At least one-fourth of me is wishing something would happen already. There's a fair probability that all this waiting will amount to nothing. Is this all just a waste of time? I hesitate to hypothesize.

A good third of me is now close to hyperventilating. Your arm is brushing mine. Either you moved closer or I did, subconsciously. It could be both.

One-half to three-fourths of me is now debating what to do next. My options are laid out, and for once I have no clue. Why don't they teach us this in school, rather than theorems and formulas and all those facts that I so studiously memorize? There is no logical decision. Logic has gone out the window. What a scary world this is.

It turns out I don't have to decide because suddenly you reach for my hand. Or maybe I reach for yours. The details are unclear at this point.

But 100 percent of me likes it.


The author's comments:
:)

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This article has 89 comments.


on Jun. 12 2010 at 1:02 pm
Sketched97 PLATINUM, Silver Spring, Maryland
31 articles 4 photos 168 comments
this is amazing. The whole idea I never would have thought of, and the flow is great. really good job.

on Jun. 11 2010 at 6:14 pm
--LoveHappens--, Fairfield, Connecticut
0 articles 0 photos 343 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway"

I really like this piece. I find it funny yet cute and its great how you incorporated the fractions and I love the story line

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 8:38 am
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

I liked this piece.  It was a new twist on the same story.  That's the only thing I thought, that the whole girl-likes-boy-but-doesn't-think-she's-good-enough-for-him thing is a little over done.  But you managed to take this and make it your own.  Well done :)

EllieK. BRONZE said...
on Jun. 9 2010 at 4:31 pm
EllieK. BRONZE, Wilmette, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Not all who wander are lost"
JRR Tolkien

"Sometimes life sucks, so suck it up"
-ME

""We succeeded in taking that picture (from deep space), and if you look a it, you see a dot. Thats here. That's home. Thats us. On it, everyone you ever heard of

I LIKED THE USE OF FRACTIONS. IT MADE THE STORY REALLY UNIQUE AND ENHANCED THE EMOTION A LOT. THIS WAS REALLY GOOD. KEEP WRITING.

on Jun. 9 2010 at 10:47 am
no problemo :)

on Jun. 9 2010 at 9:26 am
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
Thanks for the thorough feedback :)

on Jun. 8 2010 at 8:03 pm

Simon Cowel feedback--you asked for it!

The only thing i noticed was a comma after "did" in the paragraph "A good third... both." which I think should be a semicolon or dash.

Other than that, the only thing that I noticed that might be wrong with this piece is the math--does it all add up? Probably, but I didn't feel like adding all those fractions. And I don't think anyone else would bother checking either :)

One-hundred percent of me liked this piece too. From the begining I felt that it was very poetic, and I wasn't sure where you were going with it, but the middle hooked me, it kept me very interested, and the ending was incredible. It tied everything together wonderfully and made me want to see more, but at the same time it gave me the freedom to imagine what happens next--and in this situation since it's flirting that is perfect because different people have different ideas of what people do while/after flirting and it's wonderful to allow their romantic imaginations run off with them.

But as much as I liked this piece, I have to agree with Imagine dangerous. The title could be better--should be better. In my opinion more mysterious. However I think the setting is absolutely fine the way you made it because like I said it allows the reader to imagine more. The only thing I would change is the title. Great job--I'm going to have to give this 5 stars because the title could only take away half a star but I'll round up for a great, creative story which (I have to admit as much as I hate math,) is on of my favorites.  :)

 


on Jun. 8 2010 at 3:26 pm
ajkstarr BRONZE, Herndon, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."- Margaret Mead

I agree with imagine dangeerous, the setting would help. I pictured them in class, or in a library. I liked how the fractions kept getting larger, which was a cool touch.

on Jun. 8 2010 at 3:02 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 404 comments
I liked it. You did a good job of blending emotion with the math, and it gives the story a unique flavor. There are two issues: first, your title seems just a little bit unimaginative. Second, you could improve it by describing the setting a little (Are they on a date? A casual or coincedental meeting? Alone? In public?). Good job, though.


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