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Flirting With Fractions This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

One-eighth of me, or maybe a tenth, is acutely aware of the approximately 22 inches that separate your shoulder and mine. One casual shift later, I'm four inches closer. I can always just blame it on your magnetic force pulling me in.

One or two-fifths of me is analyzing your body language subtly. Have you inched closer to me, or is it just wishful thinking? I'm simply an academically inclined girl, dull next to your golden shine. The odds are not in my favor.

At least one-fourth of me is wishing something would happen already. There's a fair probability that all this waiting will amount to nothing. Is this all just a waste of time? I hesitate to hypothesize.

A good third of me is now close to hyperventilating. Your arm is brushing mine. Either you moved closer or I did, subconsciously. It could be both.

One-half to three-fourths of me is now debating what to do next. My options are laid out, and for once I have no clue. Why don't they teach us this in school, rather than theorems and formulas and all those facts that I so studiously memorize? There is no logical decision. Logic has gone out the window. What a scary world this is.

It turns out I don't have to decide because suddenly you reach for my hand. Or maybe I reach for yours. The details are unclear at this point.

But 100 percent of me likes it.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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AvengedJasonFold said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 8:03 pm:

Simon Cowel feedback--you asked for it!

The only thing i noticed was a comma after "did" in the paragraph "A good third... both." which I think should be a semicolon or dash.

Other than that, the only thing that I noticed that might be wrong with this piece is the math--does it all add up? Probably, but I didn't feel like adding all those fractions. And I don't think anyone else would bother checking either :)

One-hundred percent of me liked this piece too. From th... (more »)

 
AvengedJasonFold replied...
Jun. 9, 2010 at 10:47 am :
no problemo :)
 
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Imaginedangerous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 3:02 pm:
I liked it. You did a good job of blending emotion with the math, and it gives the story a unique flavor. There are two issues: first, your title seems just a little bit unimaginative. Second, you could improve it by describing the setting a little (Are they on a date? A casual or coincedental meeting? Alone? In public?). Good job, though.
 
ajkstarr replied...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 3:26 pm :
I agree with imagine dangeerous, the setting would help. I pictured them in class, or in a library. I liked how the fractions kept getting larger, which was a cool touch.
 
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