Not again

May 19, 2010
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“Don’t do that! Don’t do that ever again!” I snapped, pulling myself away from him. Hugs and kisses, I scoffed at the thought. I couldn’t handle it from him. Hugs were for those you cared about. I didn’t care for him. Kisses were for those you love. I didn’t love him. Not anymore.

Mike flinched and pulled his arm back. If I hadn’t stopped him he would have given me a bear hug and kissed my cheek with his smoke filled mouth. I broke up with him for a reason. I didn’t want his tobacco-addict lips against mine. But some would say he broke up with me. Why you ask? Because his smoke filled a** was too good for me.

Ha. Funny.

As if. I was the straight-a, freshman, cheerleader. Maybe not a head cheerleader, but I was smart, athletic, and cute. I don’t think you can beat that. I wasn’t Jessica Williams (the unintelligent, cute, head cheerleader), but in my book I was way better. So whatever. The only people who would believe that he was even A LITTLE better than me were addicts themselves. So again, I say “whatever”.

“OHHH!” Gilbert Vasquez teased, “REJECTED!”

Our cafeteria table burst into hysterical giggles. Mike flushed a crabby, unattractive red and moved away. For a star sophmore basketball player, he was very soft. I watched his back and felt a little guilty. He was a smoking addict, but he wasn’t proud of it. He had tried to quit like I told him to, but he gave up. But he wasn’t proud of it. It was the one and only thing I couldn’t fault him for.

In everyone else’s eyes- those who thought I was right to let him go- think he’s just the cocky star player. He was the guy who caught a break and wants to enjoy it. He wasn’t, though. Not to me.

I watched him settle into a seat two tables away filled with some of the other basketball players. He met my eyes and I mouthed the only words I could think of.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head and looked down. I turned back to the table and saw Jessica staring at me.

“You shouldn’t do that, Erica.”

“Do what?”

“Apologize.” I turned away from her. “You have to remember he isn’t just the basketball smoking addict. He’s worse, okay? Remember that.”

I peeked at her hard gaze and nodded. She wasn’t smart academic wise, but as a senior she was the smartest person I knew. Mike was worse. He did way worse, but that still didn’t matter to me. I wronged him just as much as he wronged me, no matter how much I looked like the victim.

Shane Grayson, who sat across the table, also a freshman and basketball player, gazed at me questioningly. I met his gaze and he immediately looked away. He was probably mad at me. He was one of Mike’s friends. I sighed aloud. Mike was popular too so whatever I seemed to do to him mattered way too much.

It felt like slowly everyone would turn from me. I bet if Jessica wasn’t by my side everyone would have turned from me. I glanced at Mike again.

Everyone was turning already, but they weren’t turning from me. They were turning from him. I’m sorry, I thought again.
-to be continued-

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This article has 28 comments. Post your own now!

writer3499 said...
Aug. 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I liked it alot! Great story line!!! Would you mind commenting on my work?? Thanks!
Dreamgirl95 said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 5:48 pm
i love this... it's really relatable, it captures the insecurities and confusion that comes with being a teenage girl. Great Job! Keep Writing!
sondheimfreak This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm
good, but i feel it would have been more realistic if he had been a weed addict or an alcoholic or something a tad worse than just cigarettes. would have been more powerful.
BriannaM. said...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 3:55 pm
oh that was good!!!!:)
AshTree said...
Nov. 12, 2010 at 3:32 pm
I really liked this can't wait to read part two.
loulou12 said...
Nov. 8, 2010 at 12:46 pm
i loved this! amazing! (:
Courtneeeey said...
Nov. 8, 2010 at 9:53 am
That was amazing, i loved it! Add more please!
leneypanini said...
Sept. 25, 2010 at 5:24 pm
aww:) thanks. just so you know there's a part two:)
AriesKitty said...
Sept. 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm
so cool, you did a good job, i loved it!!
leneypanini replied...
Sept. 25, 2010 at 6:02 pm
aww:) thanks.
Annabelle294 said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 9:01 pm
This is really good, i can't wait to read more!
leneypanini replied...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:52 pm
haha thanks, but u'll have to wait a little while longer haha:) i'm waiting for approval and u know how long that takes;) 
Annabelle294 replied...
Jul. 26, 2010 at 9:01 pm
haha yes, i know!
leneypanini replied...
Aug. 12, 2010 at 10:33 pm
its out:)
leneypanini replied...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 8:44 pm
the 2nd part is out:)
YellowStar24 said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 5:58 pm
very unique story line! moremore!!
leneypanini replied...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:51 pm
thanks! the next piece is short, or short to me 'cuz this piece is about two pages and the next one is only one, but with long paragraphs:) haha, i hope you'll like it. i'm waiting on approval:) and thanks again!!
Macx14 said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 6:23 am
leneypanini replied...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:50 pm
okay, okay:D haha i'm writing or typing or watever, the next piece is short.. just waiting for approval:)
leneypanini replied...
Aug. 12, 2010 at 10:33 pm
its out:)
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