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I used to love you...But I don't anymore.

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I used to love you
Did you know that?
I used to love you

But I felt I could never tell you — I could never tell you; in fear that you would reject me; fearful that you wouldn't accept my love with open arms

I used to love you
I wish I'd told you when I'd loved you; I wish I'd told you
I see you with her; did you know that?
I see you with her; at the movies; at the mall; at school together

I see you with her; I see the looks you give me — I see your stares; I feel your wanting, needing, painful glances on the back of my head as I'm walking away from you

I know you're in love with me
I know you feel the way that I used to feel for you
I wish I'd told you when I loved you
Maybe then you would be with me
Instead of being with her — & wanting me...Instead of pretending that you want her
I used to love you

It's okay, you know
You'll get over me
It'll take you awhile — It took me close to a year
But you'll get over me...
Hopefully

I used to love you
Maybe you should've tried loving me when I loved you;
instead of cheating your feelings; cheating her feelings, by dating someone else

Maybe you should tell me how you feel
Maybe we could have something beautifully imperfect...together
But life is all about the shoulda, coulda, woulda's, now isn't it?

I almost laugh in pity at you; for you'll never get
up the courage to tell me that you love me --
to even talk to me

But I bite back my laughter — for I remember
I remember when I told you — When I told you
that I loved you

You'd smiled at me — Like you desperately wanted to tell me
that you loved me, too, but for some reason...
You couldn't

Why couldn't you love me? Why couldn't you love me back? Why couldn't you love me, too?
Who was denying you to love me? Who denied you to love me?

I wish you'd tell me
I wish you'd even talk to me, for God's sake

I wish you would tell me that you love me to my face;
instead of through your heartbreakingly beautiful stares

If you were brave enough to tell me that you love me —
that you broke up with her for me —
the girl you never really loved for the girl you truly do love

I wish you were brave enough to break free from the chains that
hold you back from loving me

I wish you'd tell me you loved me
so I can admit it, too

Because I have to continuously tell all that ask
when they carefully ask:
"Do you love him?"

That
I used to love you
But I don't anymore





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

silver_moonlit10 said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 9:03 pm
No, I know.  The only people who comment on my stuff are the people I know irl.  But you're welcome.  I like stories like this, even if they hurt.
 
silver_moonlit10 said...
May 30, 2010 at 11:35 pm
So sad.  Very sad.  And yet, reality is something that hits us harder than fantasy.  It seems like that's happening here.
 
ashleyyepsen replied...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 8:06 am

This is very true. It was something I had gotten random inspiration for in creative writing class, (the irony) and had to write it down--I had no idea where it had come from or why this character was feeling this way; why she was feeling so sad.

 

But I wrote what she felt--And this is what it turned into.

 

Thank you so much for grasping the story and reviewing! I greatly appreciate it; you'll never know how much.

 
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