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chapter one: the night he returned

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The deep purple skies showed an absolute beauty. The greenery of the trees was unknown. You could only see the silhouette of every thing around you. But what some people call darkness is what I call beauty. Because night included a purple sky not a black one even on the night of a new moon.

So as I sat there on the tiny swing, soaking in the evening beauty. I noticed not the figure coming toward me but the trees, the black moon, and the purple sky.

"Sophie," the figure said.

The voice was one I didn't want to hear. I didn't look. I didn't want to listen, but I heard every word. He took a step forward and stood beneath the street light. He was a tall, skinny, light brown haired guy. He was Aoran Martinez aka ex-boyfriend that broke up with a text message.

I didn't see his face then and I don't want to see it now. I never wanted to see it again.

"Go away." I whispered.

"No," he replied.

"You left then, you can leave now."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why?" I asked harshly. "Something holding you down?"

"Yeah," he answered. I got up. I didn't want to hear it anymore. "You."

"That's not the right answer. The right answer would be that whatever we had is gone. Whatever mattered doesn't matter anymore. The right answer would be that we should leave right now. Good-Bye." I stomped away, but stomping did not compete with running. He caught me within the next ten steps. "Let go." I complained.

Again he disagreed.

"Stop it! Let go! Let ME go! You did it before so do it again. I got hurt last time! Don't do that to me! Just don't okay? Let go!" I yelled. But I couldn't escape fast enough. The tears fell too fast for my fingers to wipe away. I was immobilized and I stood crying as he held me down. It felt like he was pushing me downwards and I was going to fall. I knew I was going to fall because he let me drop before.

But he continued holding me. He had his arms around me. He let my tears fall on his shoulder. He let me lean on him. But it still hurt. The warmth was familiar, but so was the pain. When the worse of my sobs subsided I pulled myself free. As I did my head shook side to side. It said no. It said never again.

Slowly, I made my way out of the scene. He didn't stop me. He just watched my fading figure and I never turned back to look at his.



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amaranth178 said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 12:13 pm

The picture was a really nice choice :)

You did a great job of communicating her emotions and the background story.

It could have been edited a little in terms of punctuation and a slight 'awkwardness' in/around the beginning but, beside that, it was good.

 
leneypanini replied...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 9:18 pm
lol, thanks.. i try hard to get the picture right..:) and i agree w/ the awkwardness.. i think this chapter actually most of the story is really dramatic.. so can you read the rest of my stories? i have this one piece that is sort of long, but i have a feeling you might like it.. it's called Be My Friend... please? thanks for commenting<3
 
amaranth178 replied...
Aug. 11, 2010 at 1:05 pm

sure! :D so long as you read mine ;) jk.

 I try to read+comment w/ everything and I guess I'll try to read everything? I might space it out though

 
WritingLoverForever said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 8:11 am

Oh, this is beautiful, and kind of sad, too. I love it. Your style of writing is excellent and I think a lot of people could relate to this. Great job! :)

if you could, check out some of my work maybe?

 
brown.sugar replied...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 6:44 pm
it was kind of confusing in the beginning but the rest was good. i liked how the emotions stood out
 
lovetowriteandwatchTV said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 12:21 pm

that was good, very excellent writing. Keep writing! :)

if you're reading this can u read some of my work i would really appreciate  it :) thanks

 
leneypanini replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 10:13 pm
lol. lovetowriteandwatchTV:) thanks! i'll read some of yours too... as long as you read some of mine? haha. i'm glad u like it:)
 
.:liz:. said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 12:10 pm

This was really good!! sad, but good!

i really like the beginning part, the way you wrote it was really good!

 
leneypanini replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 10:12 pm
thanks:) if you like the beginning you'll like the rest of the series. i tried to do some of that again so i hope you'll like it!
 
tianaxbiddy said...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:49 pm
wow it's good like really good. i felt the pain becasue it has happened to me before. an ex bf who hads left me wouldnt let go wen he forcefully hugged me. it was painful. really painful, i hated it. so i could really relate to it.
 
leneypanini replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 10:11 pm
thanks! i hope you can read the rest of the series:)
 
Xblue_raspberryX said...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 3:51 pm
that decisionshe made is so painful but so smart.
 
cyanidesun said...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 3:59 am
You write with lovely imagery, I must say. Although, it felt a little like I was reading a soap opera. The tone felt far too dramatic for the scene. Ok, so he broke up with her over text message. I would expect her to pig out on ice cream and watch old movies in her sweat pants, not brood under the midnight sky, and then have him appear out of nowhere. It only seemed a little strange is all... The tone was very well executed, just not the right scene. :/
 
leneypanini replied...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:28 pm
lol that's wat i thought, but my cousin told me to post anyways :) so i hope the rest of the series is better than this first one.
 
The~crayon~in~my~heart said...
Jun. 5, 2010 at 9:16 pm
how sad, but i love that she stood up for herslf and didnt let herself get dragged into it again ;)
 
papered_heart replied...
Jun. 5, 2010 at 10:11 pm
thank you:) plz read the rest of the 'series'  XD
 
monkeyface replied...
Feb. 24, 2011 at 9:17 pm

that was...it...i really...i loved...idk im totally speackless or almost right now.

tht was absolutly amazing bravo

for me and all of your other fans which u hav a TON of

pleaaaasssseeee rite more.

-Monkeyface:)

 

 
HonorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm
What happened to her?
 
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