chapter one: the night he returned

May 15, 2010
By paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."


The deep purple skies showed an absolute beauty. The greenery of the trees was unknown. You could only see the silhouette of every thing around you. But what some people call darkness is what I call beauty. Because night included a purple sky not a black one even on the night of a new moon.

So as I sat there on the tiny swing, soaking in the evening beauty. I noticed not the figure coming toward me but the trees, the black moon, and the purple sky.

"Sophie," the figure said.

The voice was one I didn't want to hear. I didn't look. I didn't want to listen, but I heard every word. He took a step forward and stood beneath the street light. He was a tall, skinny, light brown haired guy. He was Aoran Martinez aka ex-boyfriend that broke up with a text message.

I didn't see his face then and I don't want to see it now. I never wanted to see it again.

"Go away." I whispered.

"No," he replied.

"You left then, you can leave now."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why?" I asked harshly. "Something holding you down?"

"Yeah," he answered. I got up. I didn't want to hear it anymore. "You."

"That's not the right answer. The right answer would be that whatever we had is gone. Whatever mattered doesn't matter anymore. The right answer would be that we should leave right now. Good-Bye." I stomped away, but stomping did not compete with running. He caught me within the next ten steps. "Let go." I complained.

Again he disagreed.

"Stop it! Let go! Let ME go! You did it before so do it again. I got hurt last time! Don't do that to me! Just don't okay? Let go!" I yelled. But I couldn't escape fast enough. The tears fell too fast for my fingers to wipe away. I was immobilized and I stood crying as he held me down. It felt like he was pushing me downwards and I was going to fall. I knew I was going to fall because he let me drop before.

But he continued holding me. He had his arms around me. He let my tears fall on his shoulder. He let me lean on him. But it still hurt. The warmth was familiar, but so was the pain. When the worse of my sobs subsided I pulled myself free. As I did my head shook side to side. It said no. It said never again.

Slowly, I made my way out of the scene. He didn't stop me. He just watched my fading figure and I never turned back to look at his.


The author's comments:
just a sad love story inspired by a real love story.

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This article has 78 comments.


on Jun. 14 2011 at 6:18 pm
AlyssaFama SILVER, Kunkletown, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
Most people want to be the sun that brightens your day. I'd rather be the moon that shines down on you in your darkest hour.

this was fantastic. It describes how a girl who was trying so strongly to forget her past would react like perfectly. great job!

on May. 3 2011 at 2:12 pm
Dark_Angel95 PLATINUM, Hickman, Kentucky
25 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
A simple minded person can understand the most complicated things.

this is amazing I love it. keep up the great writing. you should check my work sometime.

on May. 1 2011 at 4:59 pm
destined_for_fame BRONZE, Privet Drive, California
4 articles 3 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

I agree. It sounded a little choppy sometimes, too.

on Mar. 18 2011 at 7:54 pm
Shminkanator5000 SILVER, Rochester, New York
9 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"

It was really interesting for me to read because in these pieces I always expect the narrator to fall back into the arms of the antagonist, but not in this one! The vocabulary was superb, and really let us see a bit of something new. Nice work! Check out some of mine? Thanks a ton!

on Feb. 25 2011 at 9:03 pm
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

everyone is asking for the next chapters, and THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! just scroll up and look for the more by this author button, and have fun looking through all the pieces i have written! hope you like them<3 luvya!

on Feb. 24 2011 at 9:17 pm
Rainbowmadhatter, Reno, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 81 comments

that was...it...i really...i loved...idk im totally speackless or almost right now.

tht was absolutly amazing bravo

for me and all of your other fans which u hav a TON of

pleaaaasssseeee rite more.

-Monkeyface:)

 


on Feb. 24 2011 at 8:51 pm
Olivia joerges, Ottawa, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Whoa, that was really good, I really liked it, I feel like I want to read the whole story ;) cuz I know there is probably more to it. Very deep, I find beauty in the night :)

Jenns_Ink said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 8:33 pm
Jenns_Ink, Lawrenceville, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments
PROPs you amazing. I like it. No, I love it.

on Feb. 24 2011 at 10:58 am
Jazzalyn BRONZE, Hortense, Georgia
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.”

Amazing!! I LOVE it!! But where can i find the next one?! I'm really interested in what will happen next!

lizababe said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 10:42 am

where can i find chapters 3-6. btw u did an awesome job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 


RandyA. GOLD said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 9:20 am
RandyA. GOLD, Bergenfield, New Jersey
16 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
What goes up must come down

Love it...  good

mrs.lautner said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 8:06 am
Next chapter please!That was sooo deep and meaningful! You are a great writer, and you should def. continue sharing your work.

on Feb. 24 2011 at 6:54 am
Nooneimportant2u, Tallahassee, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you really knew me, you wouldnt have to know about me"

I think this is very unique, a little sad but it shows me how difficult it can be to forgive and forget....LOVE IT THOUGH :)

on Feb. 2 2011 at 7:19 pm
Thethingiseek BRONZE, N Las Vegas, Nevada
2 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"May we continue not to judge man by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."- by
"The day we stopped fighting for eachother is the day we lost our humanity"-2012 movie
"No man is equivalent to the person next to him."me

Amazing. cant wait to read the nxt chapter. actually im going right now. check out my work.ps i need help

on Jan. 13 2011 at 8:35 pm
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

lol ! you can:) you can read chapter two.... AND chapter 3-6 :) !!!! ahaha, don't forget to comment and thanks ! :)

Lletya BRONZE said...
on Jan. 13 2011 at 6:46 pm
Lletya BRONZE, Aurora, Colorado
2 articles 1 photo 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
All we ever wanted you to be, is to be yourself! If everyone leaves the show that night feeling better about themselves, then we did our job. Its a social experiment, slash art project. We're trying to change the world and help alot of people. MCR

AW.... That's so sad that she just left!  =( I love the detail and the way you wrote it though! If this is chapter one, I want to read chapter two!

on Jan. 12 2011 at 4:43 am
sunshine04 BRONZE, Vindhyanagar, Other
1 article 3 photos 253 comments
actually that story really convinced me and i am really jealous  and  Haleyelizabeth - i totally agree with her 

on Jan. 11 2011 at 1:03 pm
VballChick BRONZE, Williamsburg, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you comitt to somthing do it well or don't do it at all

in this i felt the way u the charcter did and it just made me feel like i was there. i loved it

on Jan. 11 2011 at 7:57 am
LeslieAnn BRONZE, Midvale, Utah
1 article 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\"Dream as if you\\\\\\\'ll live forever, Live as if you\\\\\\\'ll die today\\\\\\\" \\\\\\\"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain.\\\\\\\"

I thought that the dialouge in this piece was unrealistic. Also, I would have liked if you'd used different adjectives when describing things instead of recycling the same ones throughout the story.  If you are trying to set a mood try using words that make you feel a certain way. Things like "he was a brown haired guy" pull you right out of the story and you feel exactly like some teenager is just making it all up. However, its a good start and you should keep writing and improving upon what you've already got.

on Jan. 2 2011 at 3:05 pm

exactly, but this could actually happen in real life. Do you not realize that?

Something this dramatic could easily happen, it depends on the person.



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