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chapter one: the night he returned

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The deep purple skies showed an absolute beauty. The greenery of the trees was unknown. You could only see the silhouette of every thing around you. But what some people call darkness is what I call beauty. Because night included a purple sky not a black one even on the night of a new moon.

So as I sat there on the tiny swing, soaking in the evening beauty. I noticed not the figure coming toward me but the trees, the black moon, and the purple sky.

"Sophie," the figure said.

The voice was one I didn't want to hear. I didn't look. I didn't want to listen, but I heard every word. He took a step forward and stood beneath the street light. He was a tall, skinny, light brown haired guy. He was Aoran Martinez aka ex-boyfriend that broke up with a text message.

I didn't see his face then and I don't want to see it now. I never wanted to see it again.

"Go away." I whispered.

"No," he replied.

"You left then, you can leave now."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why?" I asked harshly. "Something holding you down?"

"Yeah," he answered. I got up. I didn't want to hear it anymore. "You."

"That's not the right answer. The right answer would be that whatever we had is gone. Whatever mattered doesn't matter anymore. The right answer would be that we should leave right now. Good-Bye." I stomped away, but stomping did not compete with running. He caught me within the next ten steps. "Let go." I complained.

Again he disagreed.

"Stop it! Let go! Let ME go! You did it before so do it again. I got hurt last time! Don't do that to me! Just don't okay? Let go!" I yelled. But I couldn't escape fast enough. The tears fell too fast for my fingers to wipe away. I was immobilized and I stood crying as he held me down. It felt like he was pushing me downwards and I was going to fall. I knew I was going to fall because he let me drop before.

But he continued holding me. He had his arms around me. He let my tears fall on his shoulder. He let me lean on him. But it still hurt. The warmth was familiar, but so was the pain. When the worse of my sobs subsided I pulled myself free. As I did my head shook side to side. It said no. It said never again.

Slowly, I made my way out of the scene. He didn't stop me. He just watched my fading figure and I never turned back to look at his.




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invisibleme said...
Feb. 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm:
I love it! well-written and vividly detailed. Amazing
 
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Melody777 said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm:
I loved this, you made it very easy to relate to!
 
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Goddess said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm:
woow that was great!!
 
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garthgirl8888 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 4:06 pm:
This seems very short for one chapter. I am torn as to the content- on one hand, at least it's not a stereotypical sappy love story, where the (totally un-feminist) girl takes one look into the gorgeous blue eyes of the hunky male character and falls in love without having spoken one word to him. On the other hand, it still deals with love, and I feel like that genre has definitely been overwritten. Also, the fact that this is "Chapter 1" leads me to believe that this is not the end of the relat... (more »)
 
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ollyson13 said...
Dec. 30, 2011 at 12:09 am:
I really like your story and ideas, but I want to honestly give you some constructive criticism. Your grammar could use some work and the sentences are short and simple, so many words in the deep descriptions lose meaning. Also, you keep changing perspective and tense, both of which need to be consistent throughout the story. Other than that, I can't wait to see where this goes! Good luck!
 
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Gir said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm:

what happens next?

where can i resd the other chapters?

 
leneypaniniThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 9:53 pm :
At the end of the article there is a link titled 'More by this author' click the link and search through my work. (: Thanks for the comment.
 
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kairi.kaylynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 10:33 am:
I loved this! Its was really well written and really good!
 
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snowyangel775 said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 9:15 pm:
I love it! You should keep writing it's really good ;)
 
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ASH:) said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 9:26 am:
Really great i love it .Wish i could write as wellas you.:):)
 
HonorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm :
What happened to her?
 
leneypaniniThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:39 am :
Thanks for all the input! I really appreciate it. I don't know if you know this, but this piece has seven more chapters. You're free to read them! Thanks again. (:
 
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Victor_Hagar said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 3:45 pm:
This was good, but very simple. Keep in mind that the standard chapter lenght is about 5,ooo words, and around 8 pages long, depending on what type of writning program you're using. But don't stop, keep writing!
 
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PumpkinscoutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm:
Wow! I liked it a lot! The ending was good.
 
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mercebeinyata said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:14 pm:
This is great but so sad. You have so much talent. Please don't dissapoint me with your other works like other authors have done. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
 
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singingdetective said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 8:02 am:
Incredible job! Very simple, but it did the job-- MADE ME CRY!!! I can easily relate to it :)
 
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Hermione700This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 8:43 pm:
This was so so so cool. I really enjoyed reading this. Your title gave me an idea for another piece for me to write. Can't wait for chapter 2!!!!
 
leneypaniniThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 11:37 pm :
chapter 2 through 7 is already out(: enjoy!
 
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citylightsgirl93 said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm:
this was fantastic. It describes how a girl who was trying so strongly to forget her past would react like perfectly. great job!
 
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Victoria_PThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 3, 2011 at 2:12 pm:
this is amazing I love it. keep up the great writing. you should check my work sometime.
 
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