chapter one: the night he returned

May 15, 2010
By paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."


The deep purple skies showed an absolute beauty. The greenery of the trees was unknown. You could only see the silhouette of every thing around you. But what some people call darkness is what I call beauty. Because night included a purple sky not a black one even on the night of a new moon.

So as I sat there on the tiny swing, soaking in the evening beauty. I noticed not the figure coming toward me but the trees, the black moon, and the purple sky.

"Sophie," the figure said.

The voice was one I didn't want to hear. I didn't look. I didn't want to listen, but I heard every word. He took a step forward and stood beneath the street light. He was a tall, skinny, light brown haired guy. He was Aoran Martinez aka ex-boyfriend that broke up with a text message.

I didn't see his face then and I don't want to see it now. I never wanted to see it again.

"Go away." I whispered.

"No," he replied.

"You left then, you can leave now."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why?" I asked harshly. "Something holding you down?"

"Yeah," he answered. I got up. I didn't want to hear it anymore. "You."

"That's not the right answer. The right answer would be that whatever we had is gone. Whatever mattered doesn't matter anymore. The right answer would be that we should leave right now. Good-Bye." I stomped away, but stomping did not compete with running. He caught me within the next ten steps. "Let go." I complained.

Again he disagreed.

"Stop it! Let go! Let ME go! You did it before so do it again. I got hurt last time! Don't do that to me! Just don't okay? Let go!" I yelled. But I couldn't escape fast enough. The tears fell too fast for my fingers to wipe away. I was immobilized and I stood crying as he held me down. It felt like he was pushing me downwards and I was going to fall. I knew I was going to fall because he let me drop before.

But he continued holding me. He had his arms around me. He let my tears fall on his shoulder. He let me lean on him. But it still hurt. The warmth was familiar, but so was the pain. When the worse of my sobs subsided I pulled myself free. As I did my head shook side to side. It said no. It said never again.

Slowly, I made my way out of the scene. He didn't stop me. He just watched my fading figure and I never turned back to look at his.


The author's comments:
just a sad love story inspired by a real love story.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 78 comments.


on Feb. 11 2012 at 9:10 pm
Miranda_K. BRONZE, Donora, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am only one, but still I am one; I cannot do everything but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do something I can do.







~ Edward E. Hale

I love it! well-written and vividly detailed. Amazing

Melody777 GOLD said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 2:46 pm
Melody777 GOLD, Tonasket, Washington
17 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."

I loved this, you made it very easy to relate to!

on Jan. 20 2012 at 1:44 pm
Goddess PLATINUM, Connellsville, Pennsylvania
27 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

woow that was great!!

on Dec. 31 2011 at 4:06 pm
garthgirl8888 BRONZE, Long Beach, California
2 articles 0 photos 20 comments
This seems very short for one chapter. I am torn as to the content- on one hand, at least it's not a stereotypical sappy love story, where the (totally un-feminist) girl takes one look into the gorgeous blue eyes of the hunky male character and falls in love without having spoken one word to him. On the other hand, it still deals with love, and I feel like that genre has definitely been overwritten. Also, the fact that this is "Chapter 1" leads me to believe that this is not the end of the relationship, and that the girl may relent. I sure hope not, because talk about sappy!

on Dec. 30 2011 at 12:09 am
notollyson13 SILVER, Cliffside Park, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I really like your story and ideas, but I want to honestly give you some constructive criticism. Your grammar could use some work and the sentences are short and simple, so many words in the deep descriptions lose meaning. Also, you keep changing perspective and tense, both of which need to be consistent throughout the story. Other than that, I can't wait to see where this goes! Good luck!

SWKit_kat GOLD said...
on Dec. 29 2011 at 8:50 am
SWKit_kat GOLD, Janesville, Wisconsin
16 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't cry because it's over be happy because it happened

Hi there I liked your chapter, it's obviously something people can relate to and I liked how you described things but I agree with Leslieann. Also instead of showed it should be shown. Sorry stickler for grammar and spelling, I would revise for spelling and punctuation, but some of the description wasn't as up to par like everything else. I do love how you have started and I will continue reading ;)

on Dec. 7 2011 at 9:53 pm
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

At the end of the article there is a link titled 'More by this author' click the link and search through my work. (: Thanks for the comment.

Gir said...
on Dec. 7 2011 at 4:04 pm

what happens next?

where can i resd the other chapters?


on Dec. 7 2011 at 10:33 am
MarissaWhitecloud SILVER, Oskaloosa, Iowa
7 articles 0 photos 84 comments
I loved this! Its was really well written and really good!

on Nov. 17 2011 at 8:39 am
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

Thanks for all the input! I really appreciate it. I don't know if you know this, but this piece has seven more chapters. You're free to read them! Thanks again. (:

on Nov. 15 2011 at 9:15 pm
snowyangel775 BRONZE, Chelsea, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never say never-Justin Beiber
It's my art so shut up!-Bruno Mars

I love it! You should keep writing it's really good ;)

Honour SILVER said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 2:04 pm
Honour SILVER, New London, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~John 15:13

"Give me liberty or give me death!" ~Patrick Henry

Be brave and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

"I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery" ~ Thomas Jefferson

What happened to her?

Honour SILVER said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 2:04 pm
Honour SILVER, New London, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~John 15:13

"Give me liberty or give me death!" ~Patrick Henry

Be brave and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

"I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery" ~ Thomas Jefferson

What happened to her?

ASH:) said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 9:26 am
Really great i love it .Wish i could write as wellas you.:):)

on Sep. 10 2011 at 3:45 pm
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

This was good, but very simple. Keep in mind that the standard chapter lenght is about 5,ooo words, and around 8 pages long, depending on what type of writning program you're using. But don't stop, keep writing!

on Sep. 10 2011 at 1:03 pm
Rocinante SILVER, Wexford, Pennsylvania
7 articles 1 photo 387 comments
Wow! I liked it a lot! The ending was good.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 7:14 pm
This is great but so sad. You have so much talent. Please don't dissapoint me with your other works like other authors have done. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:02 am
singingdetective SILVER, Sugar Land, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Out of a world of laughter,
suddenly I am sad.
Day and night, it haunts me,
the kiss I never had"
--Midsummer by Syndey King Russell

"Chances lost are hope's torn up pages"-- "Chances" by Five for Fighting

Incredible job! Very simple, but it did the job-- MADE ME CRY!!! I can easily relate to it :)

on Jun. 16 2011 at 11:37 pm
paninilene DIAMOND, Long Beach, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

chapter 2 through 7 is already out(: enjoy!

on Jun. 14 2011 at 8:43 pm
bunbun74 SILVER, Fort Collins, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 36 comments
This was so so so cool. I really enjoyed reading this. Your title gave me an idea for another piece for me to write. Can't wait for chapter 2!!!!


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!