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Rings

You slid the ring onto my finger. The large candy diamond sparkled red. It tasted like cherry as we walked down the street on the sidewalk. We headed toward the neighborhood park, holding hands, while our mothers trailed behind us.

You slid the ring onto my finger. It was a little loose, but I loved the way the ruby sparkled, even in the night. We walked barefoot down the dirt road, tightly holding hands. Our feet automatically turned to head toward our spot by Crescent Pond. The crickets chirped while the weeds swayed in the cool summer night. Two moons gave us just enough light to find each other’s faces- one in the sky, and one reflected in the dark, rippling water. Our foreheads touch as we reveled in the love that we had found.

You slid the ring onto my finger. The diamond sparkled, catching the light of the streetlamp. You were on one knee, with a look that looked as if I might say no. I got down on the sidewalk with you, not caring if I scraped my knees. I wrapped my arms around you and you squeezed back. I took your face in my hands, lightly tracing your lips with my finger before kissing them. No one had ever had a more perfect moment.

You slide the ring onto my finger. Smiles break across our faces, and the faces of our friends and family, as I say “I do” and you do, too. The sun warms the sand beneath our feet and waves crash as we head off into our happily ever after.





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This article has 16 comments. Post your own now!

giffordgirl said...
May 19, 2010 at 4:26 pm
This is one of the best pieces of writing I've seen, Sarah!  I'm so impressed and so hopeful that you will see this published!
 
xxSamanthaUalani replied...
May 20, 2010 at 9:42 pm
i really enjoyed this. it was absolutely adorable. but i feel myself wanting... more to the story. overall great job :D
 
princess69203 replied...
May 21, 2010 at 12:57 am

thank you samantha,

and thank you... Mrs. Satak? I'm assuming, anyway--- thanks again.... see you tomorrow ;)

 
dleefq said...
May 19, 2010 at 4:15 am
You are so awesome. That was a delightful peace and look forward to more of what you have to offer. Please keep writing.
 
princess69203 replied...
May 21, 2010 at 12:56 am
i will, thank you =)
 
jesusfreakgirl said...
May 18, 2010 at 3:17 pm
AWWW!!! I love this! It's so adorable! I liked the progression and how there was no dialog... I loved it. Completely loved it. Wonderful job. :)
 
princess69203 replied...
May 18, 2010 at 5:51 pm
thank you so much!! believe it or not, you're the first comment i've ever gotten on my work, so, thank you! =D can i ask how you came across my piece?
 
jesusfreakgirl replied...
May 19, 2010 at 5:35 pm

:) i'm honored to be the first one. And i really just stumbled on it, reading the most recently submitted romance articles. I'm a hard one to please :P good job. Usually if I'm not drawn in by the first sentence, I skip the entire piece. do you have other work submitted? If so, I'll have to read it.

btw thanks for writing such a good piece ;) its a refresher. haha :)

-Rosa

 
princess69203 replied...
May 19, 2010 at 5:47 pm
well, i DO like coincidences, haha.... yes i do have other submitted stuff ;) just go to the top of the piece and click "more by this author", although you've probably figured that out by now, haha. and i'm like that, too-- first sentence has to grab me or i'm gone, so that's what i tried to do here! your welcome and thanks again =D
 
princess69203 replied...
May 19, 2010 at 6:32 pm
i'll be 18 in june, how old are you? =)
 
jesusfreakgirl replied...
May 19, 2010 at 6:39 pm
15 in june. :) how long have you been writing?
 
princess69203 replied...
May 19, 2010 at 6:41 pm
umm... i guess since i was 12? but i got a lot more serious when i was 14 or 15.... i'm assuming you write, too? It won't let me click on your name, but i'd like to read something of yours, too =)
 
jesusfreakgirl replied...
May 19, 2010 at 6:51 pm

yeah i've been writing since i was really little. But it's only the past few years where i got serious about it, lol, like you said. and i don't have an account here yet... i'm thinking about making one just to get some other feedback on my work. if you would like to read one of my pieces, you can read it here...

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dfk6v5ht_81grwvhrcd

not sure if that will work or not. lol. :)

 
jesusfreakgirl replied...
May 19, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Mmm my comment went away. just in case it doesn't reappear...

yes, i do write. i've been writing since i was nine or ten, but haven't really started trying until last year or so. and i don't have an account yet, but i'm considering making one just so i can get my work somewhere public and get feedback. :) i'm rather shy about sharing my stuff.

-Rosa

 
princess69203 replied...
May 19, 2010 at 10:30 pm

yeah, sorry it took forever to respond, power went out for 3 hours! lol.

you should get an account. It's good to let people read your stuff.... sometimes it might not be good comments, but that way, you'll know what to make better, what to work on, that's what's gotten me better, anyway- constructive criticism.

I think as we grow older, we find what we really want to right about, how to right, and it's a great outlet, so, no wonder we both got more serious about it at about the ... (more »)

 
princess69203 replied...
Jun. 14, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Hey, I read that piece from the link you posted... wow!! i liked it... it was kind of abstract, but interesting...i know how it feels to be too short =P lol.... good job! (=
 
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