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Epiphanie

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The stars illuminated the world around me. It almost seemed like the heavens had created a secret vigil to honor a forgotten love in the sky. I look up and try to count the stars, I try to match up a star with every reason I loved you, every reason that you hurt me, and every reason why we were never meant to be together. I ran out of stars. My heart ached as I thought of all the things that we used to do. I remembered my pool party, where you showed up and we flirted the whole time. I remember every detail about that night like it was yesterday. Some of the best times in my life happened when I was with you.
I sat down on the ground and looked up at the stars. They reminded me of the twinkle that used to sparkle in your eyes every time you would tell me you loved me. I remember the first time you ever told me you loved me. I felt like the happiest girl in the world, I never wanted that night to end. We were at a football game, your arms were resting around my waist and I had my body leaned against yours. I looked into your eyes and laughed at one of your common jokes that you only threw out when we were around your friends.
“You are so cute, I love you.” I said jokingly. I didn’t mean for it to come out and I kind of covered my mouth hoping that it would suck back in. You looked me in the eyes and smiled.
“I love you beautiful.” You said softly in my ear and kissed my cheek.
I will never forget the good moments we spent together, but I will also never forget the bad. The angry words you spat at me when I told you that my ex was coming back into my life and we were texting again. The jealous look in your eye when I tackle hugged my best friend who I hadn’t seen in over a year. The sleepless nights I spent crying over how much I knew you could hurt me and hoping that you wouldn’t.
As I look back now I have an epiphany, you never hurt me at all. I tore your world apart, the ten months we spent together were amazing and I just tore it all apart. I made your world crumble to the ground.

Now, when you look at me all I see is hatred. That once bright sparkle in your eye is long gone. The tender moments we spent together are forgotten. The love has faded and turned black with time. Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I wonder, how are you doing? I want to run up to you and throw my arms around your neck, heave a huge apology from my lips and have everything be okay. In the end, I don’t and nothing is ever going to be okay. You discard me from your life and I understand, but listen, I’m Sorry.




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Inherinerd said...
Jun. 14, 2010 at 7:02 am:
your descriptions and ideas are amazing!!!!!!!!
 
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turn_my_mistakes_into_gold said...
May 20, 2010 at 12:48 pm:
I think it's so uber-cute how you spelled 'Epiphany' wrong.  Ha ha, I've read this one before.  Still ah-maze-ing.
 
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