We sat under the stone awning of the front stoop listening to the storm raging ahead of us. It was as dark as it gets, but light flashed on and off from the sudden bolts of lightening thrashing in the sky. My mind wouldn’t stop racing as I searched for the right words. Could this be why you sensed a secret? I watched as you dropped your head down. The hard stone below us suddenly became more important than our conversation. I couldn’t tell if the water streaming down your face was the rain or your tears. My head, along with my heart, dropped next after my realization. I hated when you cried, I hated that I could never fix it. How something was always still broken inside. You knew that I thought this, but we never spoke of it. Lightening flashed and I saw your head in your hands.

The storm continued its dance for the rest of the night that we stayed there with nothing but the silence that somehow spoke so many words. There was so much I could have said, that I wanted to say. Like how much I loved the fact that I was the inspiration for your art, and how all of the other amazing things you’ve done have been so important to everyone around you. I wanted mostly though for you to know that I cared. And sitting against the wooden door listening to the wind and our silence showed exactly how much I did. With every boom of thunder, I felt water in my eyes.

I needed you, I needed your trust, I needed your friendship. I couldn’t lie to you; I couldn’t keep any secrets. I knew this and I wouldn’t hold it to myself any longer. In the midst of the rain, I turned to you and threw my soaked arms around your neck. Your head stayed down, but your body stopped shaking. I felt the pain and anger that you held inside with every sharp breath you took. At that moment, I began to break. Loud cries of confusion escaped from the deepest chambers of my heart and flooded your virgin ears. This was the first time you heard me admit those words you already knew out of my own mouth…