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Am I Worth It?

By , Pleasant Prairie, WI
After spending five hours in the car trip to Indiana with the guy of my dreams I was pretty tired. Carter, the driver, and I were the only one's awake in the car. I just hoped the driver wasn't hearing any of the conversation. I had to stop looking at Carter, had to stop talking to him. I probably sounded like a babbling idiot. All he was doing at this point was staring out the window.

"Hey, Carter. I'm not like talking too much, am I?" He looked at me as he replied.

"No. I've just got a lot on my mind.

That was the second time he had said that. I was starting to think he wanted me to ask about it, but what if he didn't want me to, then it would be rude.

I noticed that practically everyone said he had a crush on me too. But it was too risky to ask him. Besides, I didn't think it was possible for him to love me as much as I loved him. He was my whole world. I started thinking about earlier that weekend.

We arrived at the concert that our whole youth group was going to late at night. First we saw a very intense play about demons and angels battling over your soul, then a few bands came out as we jumped up and down to the music. Soon it was time for everyone who wanted to, to come down in front of the stage to pray. We were in a basketball stadium so the stairs went very high. There were hundreds of people that came down, so I was at the top stairs, Carter near the bottom. That was the first time I had cried in a while.

It was soon break time, you could visit the souvenir shop, buy dinner or a snack to hold you over or go to the bathroom. I visited the souvenir shop with my friend who had been sitting in the stadium.

"Oh, look Emily," I said while pointing to a necklace. It was a string with a ring hanging on it. The ring said faith hope and love. It was perfect. I saw that the price tag said that it cost five dollars. I didn't have enough. So, I strolled over to where my youth group was waiting for me.

"Okay," they started, "We are going to be buying pizzas for everyone since it's getting to late to buy anything."
Now, I had enough to buy the necklace since I didn't have to spend it on dinner. I went back to the souvinir stand and bought the necklace.

"I can't get it on," I said to Emily.

"Here I'll help," she said as she swung up behind me, "Hmmmm, I can't get it on either."

As she said that Carter started walking over, "I'll get it on," he said, smiling.
"No," I said, way too rushed, "I can get it on!" As I said that, the clip finally hooked on, "See?" I said, relieved. Luckily, he walked away after that.
I finally snapped back into the present.
"You should go to sleep," I heard Carter say.
"No, that's okay. I'm more of a night person anyway. For some reason, I'm more awake when I get less sleep." I replied.

"Hey, same with me. Finally, someone gets me," he said. I would wait until I got home to start dreaming. I didn't care that it was two in the morning. I wanted to spend every minute I could awake with him.

Later when I got home, I started thinking about him. It took days for the question to finally pop into my head. Am I worth it? No. Do I really know Carter? Maybe. Does he deserve someone that sees him everyday instead of twice a week? Yes. Does he deserve a train wreck like me? No. I should just keep my distance while I could bear it.





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

The~crayon~in~my~heart said...
Apr. 24, 2010 at 12:39 pm
cute!!!! i hope you have luck with your guy!!!!
 
Dreamer5712 replied...
Apr. 26, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Thanks. The last article i posted, well, I went back and read it and it sounds terrible.
 
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