~It was raining, normally I loved the rain. Something about it gave me a rush of excitement, comfort, and peace, but today it did not. I was ill, very, very ill. I was that strange kind of sick, though. For my heart was breaking. I stared at my teacher trying to absorb the lecture, straining my mind to comprehend what was being said, but today I couldn’t focus. So I sighed softly, and stared at the pouring rain falling outside. The window, to my right, was slightly ajar so I was able to feel a gentle, cool sensation on my right arm from its mist.

~This was somewhat comforting. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I should be happy, I am so young. But I couldn’t discard the pulling feeling on what was once my heart. I need to stop this, I said to myself, I need to let go of it. I knew I was right about being so very wrong. I knew things would end in heartache and tears. But I ignored my better judgment. Was I still in love? No, not at all. I was hurt, angry, not in love.

~I sighed again, when would class end? I needed to go home, I needed to stop this. I looked out the window again. There was a figure in the distance. The grounds keeper, I decided. Then, I stopped. Inside me a voice was screaming “Get over it, it was a waste move on! Forget it!” I stopped breathing and I heard my thoughts as if they were my own voice. “It’s over, I feel nothing for my past love anymore, I am stronger, I am happy.” I smiled, something I hadn’t done genuinely for weeks. “I am happy.” I looked outside again.

~This time I was able to appreciate the rain, which now (because of the sun) looked like falling rainbows. The rain was beautiful, I enjoyed it, I was at peace again. Then I strained my eyes to see the grounds keeper’s face. My heart dropped, and my blood became ice. “NO! NOOOOO!” I cried in my mind. It was not a grounds keeper, it was my past love. I became angry. But before I could say anything I heard my name.

~It was growing louder. He was screaming my name, over and over, until my teacher said to me with a smile “I believe that’s for you, please make this person lower their voice there is testing” Then she went back to her lecture. How could she be so nonchalant about this!? I ran out of the room and stopped at my locker. My trembling hands fumbled with the lock until it clicked open. I threw on my coat and grabbed an umbrella.

~I do not love him, I do not love him. I repeated in my mind. Then I burst out the doors, and walked slowly towards the person who broke my heart. Tears? Was he crying? No, just rain. I decided. I handed him the umbrella. “I-I’m s-s-so sorry, I l-l-ove you” He said. He was freezing. I kept my face level, I did not love him.

~He took the umbrella trembling. My voice was colder then the ice rain “Leave. Forget you knew me. I will do the same.” In my head there was silence, the voices had nothing to say now, how convenient. His eyes filled, and he muttered “But I..” I looked at him angrily, I hated this person I lowered my eyes and growled “I hate you” Then I turned and walked into the warm school.