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3/6/10- My epic Failure </3
it was a saturday. i was online on my myspace. BORED. James friend, Lila, IMed me, asking if i was going to the mall. i said no. then i asked if James was going. she said yea. so i wanted to go. i asked my parents, they said yes. i was so excited, i got dressed as fast as i can.
when i arrived at the mall, i went straight to the restroom to check the mirror and get myself fixed up. but before i entered the RR, i saw him. it was James, right there. he was using the payphone. when i saw him. his jaw dropped, then he turned away. but i went to the RR anyways to fix myself up. then i went out, he was still there, he was with his brother, Phil and his friend Sam. i walked pass them, Phil said, " hwy, James, theres Sasori." i continued to walk, then after being about 5 ft. apart, i called James to come near me. he said " what are you doing here"
Me: Lila told me she was going here, and that you were already here, so i wanted to go.
Him: i said it was best if we dont see each other for a while"
Me: i know, i just wanted to see you, really badly.
Him: well, whatre you gona do here?
Me: hang out with you, if you want me to.
James stood there, quietly. i was sad inside, i knew what was to come.
Me: ok then, i guess you dont want me to
Him: wait!! ok, we can hangout, but just as friends...ok!?!?!
Me: ok :)
so we hungout. walking around, waiting for lila to come. i was just following Fames, right behind him. like his shadow. all i kept thinking about was; how much i missed him. how badly i wanted to hug him tight. how much i wanted to kiss him. how badly i wanted to hold his hand. how badly i wanted us to be together again :'(.
later on Lila came, when she came, James and her went to an EYE store. they wanted to buy contacts. but they didnt have enough money.
after a while of walking around, i asked lila if i can steal james away for a while. she said sure. so i called him and asked if we can speak in private. he said sure.
so i walked and walked, making james follow me. he asked were can we talk. i said " idk...OH, i know were"
there was this place next to the restroom, when you go to the way left, there was a door that led to a long empty hallway.
so i went there, with james following. when i went in i walked to the corner, and waited for james to catch up. when he did, i just froze up, afraid to talk. he said "so what?"
i said wait im thinking.
i began to tear, i looked up and walked closer to him and TRIED to hug him. but he resisted. i began to cry. and i tried again, this time i pulled his jacket pulling him to get closer to me. finally,we hugged. i began to cry harder. because i finally get to hold him in my arms, and i get to smell his intoxicating aroma. i missed him, it felt so good. while i was in his arms, i began to beg, beg for him to take me back. i kept saying "please, james please, i really miss you, please take me back, i love you"
he said " im sorry...sorry sasori, but we cant, i told you before, ok,im sorry."
i asked for a kiss, but he kissed me on my forehead. i enjoyed it, but i wanted a kiss on the lips. i looked up and tried to kiss him. he said " NO!! no sasori" i cried and said " please, just one kiss, lets see if we still have a spark, please. he said no again. so i squat down and began to cry. he stayed standing. i told him to sit near me. when he did, i layed my head on his shoulder. we stayed like that for 2 minutes or so. then james stood up, saying that we have to go, there waiting for us. i stood up, leaned against the wall, still crying, telling him that i dont want to go. he said we had to. i was still crying. he looked at me, and said, "please stop crying, please." while saying that he wiped my tears with his sleeves. then i tried to hold his hands but he nudged them away, as usual. so i grabbed his jacket and tried to hug him again. while i was in his arms, i was still tearing, trying to make the moment last. then he told me to stop crying, then he started to walk, i followed. he exit the hallway, but i didnt. i walked the other way. when he noticed i was gone, he went back to get me. when he called me, i can tell he was mad. he hated it when i do that.
when we walked out, lila and phil was there waiting for us. i went in the restroom, i looked at the mirror, my face was red and so was my eyes. i went in one of the stalls and sat down, crying. i heard the door ope, i heard footsteps, it was james, i could tell by his shoes. they went away. i walked out, checked the mirror, still red. so i exit the restroom. i saw all of them they were waiting for me. they saw my face, and i can tell they felt bad for me. i was ashamed, so i walked on without them. they followed, then they went upstairs. when my face got better, i wet upstairs and look for them. when i found them, they were sitting. so i went to a seat next to james, sat dow, and put my head down........
im STUPID for doing what i did that day D: