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As I lie on my bed, I read
I look outside and wonder if it will ever end. The snow like like the pain and tragedy of my life.You get to the point where you think it will end and it just goes on and on and on. You get three inches of snow and just get it plowed when you get another three inches. Will it ever end?
This is not the way I thought the day would turn out. I think over the last year, all the heartache and pain in my life, and go back to where it all began.
My story was like so many others of this time. I grew up in, what seemed a happy family, Mom, Dad, Me, and my little brother. It was perfect. My dad was a lawyer and mom stayed home. She had wanted to go to college but I un-expectantly interrupted those plans. Soon after I was born mom and dad were married. Five years later my brother arrived. They were more prepared for him than me. We lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. My brother and I both went to private schools. We lived the perfect rich life. We drove the best cars and wore the best clothes. Anything we wanted we got. We had a chef, a maid and a gardener. Our lives were great, until that day. It was two years ago today. I was 13 and my brother 8, and without our knowledge, our lives were about to take a dramatic turn. A turn away from everything we had ever known.
We started that day like any other day. Mom dropped us off at school and we said goodbye. While we were busy working away filling our heads with knowledge, my father was busy destroying our lives. When Mom came back from dropping us off at school she was greeted by our father.
"Come sit. We need to talk."
"Why didn't you go to work?"
"I took today off"
My mother was filled with excitement for today was their anniversary. She threw her arms around him; he pushed her away and said “I’m leaving"
"Okay, for a business trip?" my mother asked inquisitively.
“No, I'm leaving"
It was then that she realized what he meant.
"I want the house and my car. I want my credit cards, and I've already taken your name off of the bank accounts."
My mother sat there in shock. As she gazed out the window she saw a tiny young blonde flirting with the gardener. "Is that her?" she asked.
"Yes, that's Ashley."
Mom walked out onto the patio where she was standing. "What makes you think that you can waltz right in and steal my life away from me? What makes you think that you are better than me? What makes you think that you could ever be me?"
"Number one I don't want to be you, because if I was you this wouldn't be happening. I wouldn't have let my man run off with another woman. I would have kept him satisfied, unlike you did."
With that my mother had had enough. She slapped her in the face and walked off.
Mom left the house to take care of business. She bought herself, me and Blake new clothes. She made a with-draw at the ATM and took as much as she could. She repeated this with many of the ATMs in the mall. Next, she called a moving service, packed all of our things and sent them to our grandmother's old house in West Virginia. My grandmother had died a few years back and left Mom her house.
When she picked us up from school, I could tell that something was wrong. She drove us to the park and told Blake to go play. She then told me what happened. She said that we would have to go live somewhere else. She told me that she had decided to move to West Virginia. Me being a spoiled rich kid, I thought of West Virginia as the forgotten state. Where hillbillies lived and didn't take a shower for weeks. I had no other choice though. It was clear that my sperm donor, what I called my father from then on, didn't want me so what could I do? I tried to call my friends to tell them the news but my service had been canceled, as had Mom's and Blake's. I found a napkin and a pen and wrote them each the same thing, 'I hate to leave but some issues have come up. I will be moving and will call you as soon as I can. My phone doesn't work anymore so don’t waste your time calling. I love you, will talk to you soon.' After driving past my friends houses and putting the note in their mailboxes we were on our way. West Virginia, Wild and Wonderful, nothing about that state seemed wonderful.
Blake had always been an outdoorsy person but I was not at all. I was the type who would freak out if I got mud on the bottom of my shoe. I was the pretty, popular, preppy girl who everybody loved. Now that same preppy girl was going to West Virginia. How was this ever going to work?
My grandmother’s house was an old Victorian house. It was beautiful except for the fact that it was falling apart. The paint on the exterior was peeling off. The ceiling leaked, the floor was falling in, and the house was literally falling down around us. There was mold in the basement, in the walls, and just about everywhere. My mother was all for remodeling it, until she saw it.
As we wondered around the town, Mom would tell us stories about every landmark.
“There is where I had my first kiss. There is the sulfur well. There is the where the old hotel was.” She then elaborately told us the whole town story.
School! School here was the exact opposite of my old school. We had the best of everything. They have nothing! Chalkboards. Who even uses chalkboards anymore? And the people, every guy in the school wears the same thing; t-shirt, old blue jeans, and huntig boots. I would never get used to it!
Luke, was assigned to be my science partner. Luke was the type of person who could make even the most miserable situation enjoyable. He wasn't bad looking either. He had hair like a chocolate sea of curls, eyes like morning sky, and a tan the most beautiful shade of bronze. He made me get that warm tingly feeling inside, the feeling that only Tyler, my last boyfriend, could arouse before. Eventually our friendship became more. I realized I liked this guy; no I had to admit I loved him. After some persistance, he loved me too. Our love seemed perfect.
For my birthday he came to my house, which with my mother's hard work had been fully restored by this time. This was the first time he had meet my family, I thought. My mother was not like many of the mothers around here. She had always been cautious about her figure. She had blonde hair, like mine, and blue eyes like Blake's. She was very pretty. My brother was, as always, the annoying pest, however he got along well with Luke. They talked about video games and guy stuff.
After dinner my mother went out on the deck to finish her glass of wine. Shortly after Luke went to use the bathroom, or so I thought. I got a little worried when he didn't come back after ten minutes, so I went looking through the house for him. Out of the corner of my eye I found him.
Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it did. There stood Luke and my mother on the deck, my mom's arms wrapped around him, locked in a passionate kiss. I stood there trying to decide if this was really happening or was it just my worst nightmare. It was both. I couldn't believe what was happening. My perfect sixteen year old boyfriend was making out with my thirty-five year old mother.
I pretended not to notice hoping that if I didn't look it wouldn't happen and yelled that the cake was ready. They immediatly stopped and came in. I blew out my candles and wished that what I had just saw didn't happen. After Blake devoured half my cake he went up stairs to take a shower. I thought that now would be some quiet time to take everything in, but no. Luke said that he needed to talk to me. I stood up to walk outside and he pulled me back down.
"I hate to do this on your birthday, but I don't love you. I have found someone else. We met a couple of weeks ago. . ."
"MOTHER!" I screamed, “How can you do this to me!"
"How did you know?" she yelled with confusion
"Kinda hard not to notice you two making out on the deck!" I screamed back "And You, how could you do this to me!" I yelled at Luke "I guess we all have an Ashley!" I screamed at my mother, which at that time was the worst insult I could give my mother. I stomped up the stairs and locked myself in my bedroom.
Now I lie here and wonder just exactly what I did wrong. What I did to make my life end up this way. Just when I thought it would end, it went on. I think now about the author and wonder what happened in their life that would make them feel this way. Maybe they too had the same tragedies in their life as me. Maybe they felt compelled to write it for the people who had had the tragedies in their life to make them not feel alone. What ever the case I continue reading, filled with hope that maybe someday it will get better.
Yes, it will end, someday. Someday it will get better. It may take heartache and tragedy to get there, but it will get better. Eventually the snow will melt away.