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A Secret Admirers' Metamorphosis

He drummed her fingernails against the corner of his undersized school desk. Three… two… one- exactly six and one half minute until sixth period lets out- six and one half minutes until he delivered. It was a schedule he had followed since sophomore year, every other Wednesday just after sixth period, he delivered the note. Never anything that could give him away- he either typed it up and avoided the use of his hand writing, or cut his desired words from newspaper and magazines ransom-note style.

The message was always the same- the words always different. On Valentines Day last year he had given a small bag of Conversation hearts, a cheesy card, and a Yellow rose. Halloween two years ago it was a chocolate eyeball and a small card saying, “You are my treat- here’s one for you. No tricks.” Red and Green gummy bears just before Christmas, Irish Truffles around St. Patrick’s Day. Today however, like most delivery days, a simple folded piece of loose leaf was all he intended- in now four minutes and sixteen seconds- to slip into her locker. He had decided to give a plain and simple note today, a wrinkled “You enchant me” was all that was uttered on the wide-ruled paper he clutched in his right hand.

One minute and forty-three seconds, also know as eternity, to go. One hundred and three seconds was officially his least favorite number… one hundred and two… One 0 one…

He got a sort of kick out of it- he imagined so did she. He wondered how exactly it made her feel when she received his notes. Was it the one thing that gave her self-esteem? Or did she think of herself just as fondly as he though of her? Who did she think dropped the notes, - a jock, or a techie, perhaps, but certainly not him? He knew he was a secret, pondered or not, he didn’t know, but only he knew that this Clark Kent lay under Superman’s six-pack.

The seconds ticked away as his patients and level of attention to the lesson diminished. He became jittery as Mr. Jacobson announced that it was now time to pack up- only twenty-four seconds remained on the teasing clock. Finally- the second hand reached the twelve and the minute hand became perfectly aligned with the two. He held his breath and waited for the bell to set him free.

The thirty-two seconds Mr. Jacobson’s clock was off by were agony- but in a way made the final bell even sweeter sounding. He wove his way through the crowed hallway; the destination was soon in sight.

Ten feet to go… three… two ... one… touchdown. The paper seamlessly slipped into her locker, making the tiniest sound as it landed on her thick beginning-of-spring hoodie. Not a moment later, though, his regulatory schedule was upset. She was exactly twenty-one seconds early- giving her a chance to see a hand dropping the note into he locker- and to whom the hand belonged.

If it was possible, his heart stopped and smile jumped onto her face simultaneously. His gaze met hers, and at this moment he was still her lab partner, he was still her childhood friend, and he was still her next-door-neighbor.
But in that moment, and everyone that followed- the one thing he finally wasn’t, was her secret admirer.




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This article has 27 comments. Post your own!

AshTree said...
Nov. 14, 2010 at 3:45 pm:
I already commented on the other one that is just like this but I still like it. Good job
 
thepreachyteenagerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 14, 2010 at 3:48 pm :
Oops.  I feel dumb now.  I forgot to tell you guys.  This is just the un-edited version of  A Secret No More.  Whoops!
 
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Phoenix97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 12:19 pm:
This is adorable. The plot isn't terribly original, but I think you wrote it well enough that the story has become unique. My favorite part is the way that you had the secret admirer have the delivery timed to the second; it added a little bit of oddness, in a good way ;). One thing though, in the second-to-last paragraph, I think, you should change the short dashes around the phrase in the last sentence to longer dashes. I think for most people, that would mean double dashes like this --. 
 
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elfen_girl said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 12:52 pm:
i liked how u wrote it from the guys point of view
 
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Elaine N. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 10:41 pm:
i love this! its super sweet. :)
 
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Inherinerd said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 7:24 pm:
I just commented one this exact story!!!! lol keep writing cause you're very good
 
thepreechyteenagerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 7:32 pm :
Yeah, this was the original version of A  Secret No More.  This one had a lot more grammar mistakes and such.  I edited this and re-submitted it under a different name.
 
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AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 10:17 pm:
I LOVE THIS!!!!!! It cracks me up and is just so sweet!  Keep writing! ~AsIAm
 
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AprilNeon said...
Jul. 28, 2010 at 9:30 pm:

I could have SWORN I commented on this. 

I love it! It's so truly perfect and amazingly written, it makes me want to squeal. lol :)

Did this really happen??

If so, tell that boy he's going places with those brains. Lol :)

Great job, very realistic. 

 
thepreechyteenagerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 8:05 am :
You did comment on this, but it was the revised version in the forums.  Thanks for commenting again, though.  This is based on a true story.  A guy did give me a couple love notes, (which frankly got annoying after a while) but this isn't totally real.
 
laurathewise replied...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:56 pm :
ha. My friend has 4 stalkers. Yeah, that's right---not one, not two---four. And she has a boyfriend already.
 
elfen_girl replied...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 12:50 pm :
thats so sweet i wish i got a love letter all my boyfriend gives me is a card and kiss
 
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tor10jax said...
Jul. 1, 2010 at 1:44 pm:
This is so sweet! I want a secret admirer!
You did a good job showing instead of telling (like how she was happy to find out it was him).  I love the last line.
Let me know if you post anything else because I want to read it. :)
 
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Caitlyn_ilovesoftball said...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 6:49 pm:
It is sooooooo CUTE!!! I love it.  It makes me wish I had a secret admirer....
 
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FlyWithMe_899 said...
Jun. 9, 2010 at 4:06 pm:
awwww i really really liked itt!!!!!!!!!!!! that was very cute^^
 
thepreechyteenagerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 9, 2010 at 4:19 pm :
Thanks :) It's unlike me to be cute while writing- but we all have our romantic days
 
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katie-cat said...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 2:02 pm:
This was really cute :)  I just noticed a few grammaticak mistakes, like you spelled patience like hospital patients.  He's very passionate about this girl and I think that's how every girl imagines the guy they like.  With this you can relate to boy and girls everywhere.
 
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Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2010 at 11:00 am:
beautiful ending...really, if you fix it up and spend some more time on it to correct the grammar mistakes you could submit it again, e-mail the editors or something to get rid of this one, and it could be in the magazine or something...i love it! keep writing!
 
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banangela29 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 26, 2010 at 3:03 pm:
Aww :) I like it. A couple spelling errors and awkward sentences, but other than that... very good
 
Jynxx replied...
May 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm :

I have to agree with banangela, there were a few awkward sentences. But the story overall was beautifully written. ^_^

Keep up the good work and thanks for commenting on The Key!

 

 
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