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This is the first winter I spend on the outside, and I
can’t help but regret the current situation I have put myself in.
“Soko” I hear Alec shout to me and all I could do was stare into his crystal blue eyes, I smiled.
He was now the only friend, family, and love I had left in this world, but I know the choice I made to leave home was the right one; life there was just too difficult... Just too hard for anyone to bare.
Just three weeks earlier I was living at home with my mum and dad, everything was going great that week. Mum had finally accepted the fact Alec would always be a part of my life, and dad well dad had other thoughts but even though he was uneasy he seemed not to mind that much or so I thought.
“Soko Marie” father called out. “come here love” as I heard father call out to me his voice was almost sweet and gentle and this gut feeling in my stomach told me something wasn’t right.
My steps were slow as I walked towards my father, my heart quickly beating inside of my chest. The thoughts in my head wandered as I neared him why did he want to talk to me? What was going to happen after the matter, I couldn’t help but think negative thoughts as he smiled almost coldly at me.
“Yes father” I almost mumbled.
“Soko dear, I’ve been meaning to tell you…” he looked at me and paused, taking a deep breath and then continued to speak “Alec does not fit into this image we have created as a family and I cannot” He repeated in a louder tone “Cannot have someone like him in my family”
My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach as I looked at him with tears filling up in my eyes, they couldn’t help but fall and stream down my cheek towards my neck “but father” I said with a sob “I love him and I can’t just let him go”
Fathers eyes filled with rage as he stood up and placed his hands on me with a firm grip, almost hurting my fragile arms “You will listen to me, and you will listen to me well I will not have that boy in my family and if you cant respect that then just leave Soko be gone”
By that last sentence I knew I had no other choice but to leave home, I had nowhere to go but I couldn’t risk losing Alec not now not ever.
I came back to reality as a cold drop hit my face, was I crying? No it was just that the earth had begun to drop tiny droplets of rain onto the space below and above me.
“Alec” my eyes wandered as I looked for him finally, spotting him in the corner of my eye by the same space between what led from the back of the alley way towards the street full of cars and people with nice dresses and nice suits looking all dignified I almost envied them.
But that envy was no more as Alec came to me and wrapped me into his tight embrace “yes my love” he said with a loving tone. “do you believe life will get any better then this?” I asked him I hoped he would give me a reassuring answer “I believe so if you want it..you can have anything you want Soko anything you want”.
“I want to leave here, I want to leave Liverpool and go to Florida with you..I just want to get as far away from here as I can” I replied to him in almost a soft whisper.
Alec stood up and looked down into my eyes “if that’s what you want then that is what we shall do and we will do whatever it takes to get there”
In my head and in my heart I always knew Alec was a keeper, someone I could never let go I just hoped what he promised would actually happen would be true.