Something Dying Within

March 23, 2010
By monicalillian SILVER, Holladay, Utah
monicalillian SILVER, Holladay, Utah
5 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"forgive your enemies, nothing bugs them more."


“Do you need a ride home,” asked Bryan while we cleaned. “No, she doesn't...I brought my car,” replied Josh forcibly. Thanks though I quickly said to Bryan. He nodded his reply...so as not to make Josh even angrier. I ran and tackled E, Mckinna, and Shawny in a huge bear hug. The rest had already left for the night. As josh opened my door I said bluntly, you didn't have to be so rude to Bryan...he was only being nice. Its just that I don't like how he looks at you. No, he only looks at me like he looks at every single other one of our friends. Maybe, but sometimes you're too naive to see what is hidden in others. That was the end of our discussion and it was silent for the rest of the way home...then I climbed out, slammed the door and ran inside. Eh...some times he just bugged me so bad.

I awoke to my cell phone ringing incessantly. I picked it up and saw the caller...uh it was Bryan. Hello. Well hey there sleepy head. Um, we’re all waiting here for you so we can eat. Oh shoot, I totally spaced out...hang on I will go see if josh already left or not. Actually he’s already here. What? Yeah, he said you were coming in separate cars. Since when? Um...never mind, be there way soon. Bye. How could he do this to me...what was he thinking. Was our fight really that bad? Oh well I thought to myself...I would just have to have fun with everyone else.

As I pulled up I saw an ambulance speeding away. There were three police cars surrounding the street. As soon as I saw them my heart was jumping...what happened. I was so confused. I hurried to park and then ran towards my friends. “What happened, what’s wrong, the words caught in my throat...threatening to close off my air supply. Ryan was in a heap on the ground, those around him trying to comfort him. I walked over to Bryan, “what happened?” It was Jesse...he collapsed right after we hung up with you...they rushed him to the hospital as soon as they could. We were waiting for you and then we were to all go up there together. As soon as I heard this everyone started getting into their cars. We piled five into mine and seven into Bryan’s. The rest had their own and we were on our way. Why I asked my self...why Jesse?

It felt like we had been sitting there forever, until the doctor came out into the hallway. Ryan and Kamron were the first to race forward. The rest of us followed hurriedly. I need you to understand your brother’s condition, whispered the doctor. Yes, Ryan said quietly as he nodded. I’m so sorry, but your brother has Leukemia. That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. I tore from the group and ran down the hall with Bryan and Joey inches behind me. I ran into the hall as fast as I could. I stood against the wall for a minute before I sank to the floor. I didn't even care if they saw me cry this time. My friend was dying and I couldn't save him. Bryan and Joey came over and sat by me comforting me carefully until I could hold myself together.

When I heard that single word, “Leukemia,” I couldn't just sit there. This brought back the all too fond memories of two years ago when I got my diagnoses. I had been only 14, at the time the doctors had told me, I thought I was just going to slowly die. But since then my life had gone on...I had grown as a person as well as in general. This seemed to be a nightmare...only I couldn't wake up and I was dragging others down with me. You can go in, the nurse said cheerfully in order to boost my spirits. I walked into the room and immediately wanted to turn and run out again. He looked so feeble and helpless, lying the large uncomfortable bed brought back the all too fond memories of two years ago when I got my diagnoses. I had been only 14, at the time the doctors had told me, I thought I was just going to slowly die. But since then my life had gone on...I had grown as a person as well as in general. This seemed to be a nightmare...only I couldn't wake up and I was dragging others down with me. You can go in, the nurse said cheerfully in order to boost my spirits. I walked into the room and immediately wanted to turn and run out again. He looked so feeble and helpless, lying the large uncomfortable bed He stared up at me. His deep blue eyes glowing in the dim light, his boyish smile grinning back at my. Hey there Jesse. Hi Kristan, how are you this fine morning. Um, good...how are you, i asked even though i knew the answer. I'm fine, a little tired perhaps.
This caught me off guard. We all knew what he was going through, and yet he pretended to not know anything about it. I didn't understand his mentality. I understood his pain and yet I couldn't face it in the same way. Well don't worry, we will all be here with you, I said as I gave him a hug. As I said this his eyes began to water. Its not fair, he spoke softly. I know its not, I said as I tried to comfort him. How could you possibly understand. I do, because of this...I said as I showed him the scar that laced delicately across my waist. His eyes got wide as he gasped. I didn't know, was all he could mutter. No one did, except E, Mckinna, and Bryan. Not even josh he asked. No, especially not josh. Why...why not us? Because, i didn't want anyone looking at me as strange and really delicate. I didn't want life to change anymore. As Jesse and I talked, i made him promise not to notify the others of my condition, i would when the time was right. Once the others left i promised Jesse that I wouldn't leave him because i knew how he felt. then i fell fast asleep in the chair that stood in the midst of the room.
I awoke with a horrible back ache. Bryan came in singing softly towards us. "I've brought you breakfast...and i must say its delicious." why thank you good sir, I said while mocking him. Oh, he's not wearing a tutu said E and I together as we laughed. Hahaha. Good times at my house, I said after we stopped laughing. oh yes...just love having my fortune told my two screaming and giggling girls, said a aggravated Bryan. That food smells delicious, i replied. It should, Mckinna has been slaving over it all morning. Oh and here we thought you made this, said E as she chuckled under her breath. No, I didn't, but I did however help make the smoothies. "One for you," he said as he gave one to me, "and one for you."


The author's comments:
its not finished but i wrote this after a strange dream i had, each character has a small bit of my friends inside of them. yet i realize, once a character is created they have their own identity, personality, thoughts, and actions, the story is no longer written by me but instead is added to by each character.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Jun. 5 2011 at 2:17 pm
monicalillian SILVER, Holladay, Utah
5 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"forgive your enemies, nothing bugs them more."

thanks...yeah it is a bit scattered.  im editing it right now. i'll post a new and improved version sometime soon.  thanks though, its good to know that its inspiring

on Jun. 5 2011 at 2:16 pm
monicalillian SILVER, Holladay, Utah
5 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"forgive your enemies, nothing bugs them more."

yeah, the dialog is something i've got to work on but i love the criticism. sure i'd love to check yours out

on Jul. 26 2010 at 5:44 pm
CrazyWriter GOLD, Lorton Station, Virginia
16 articles 2 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you have given up on the most important thing in your life, you begin to die, because then, you gradually lose your true self"~Hana Kimi
"Someone who can lie to themself. . . is lonely, and in pain"~Hana Kimi

this story plot has great potental but i found it hard to read  the dialouge . still i like the idea!!

btw would you check out my work ?

~CrazyWriter


on Jul. 5 2010 at 12:22 am
Green8a8 SILVER, NY, New York
8 articles 1 photo 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
im the author of my life, unfortunately im writing in pen therefore i can't erase nothing about it.-by some crazy friend of mine

this was really inspiring and great i got a bi confused but beside that it was a great emotional story


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