March 3, 2010
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The rain poured down plastering my hair to my face. I stood there on my doorstep staring into the blue-green ocean pools that were his eyes. Instead of thinking of the mascara running down my cheek and despite fact that I was sure my hair looked like straw, I was in bliss. He held my hand tight in his and I had to forcefully slip my hand out of his strong grasp to get away. I wanted to stay in his arms forever and listen to the rain pour down and feel his warmth. He walked towards his car and I stood on the porch staring. I listened to the sound of the engine until I was only imagining that I could still hear it. This was the fairytale moment I had been waiting for. It was exactly the type of cheesy romance novel that I always wished for. I loved it. I loved him. I always asked myself why. Why would he pick me? Every girl in the world wanted him. He could get anyone he wanted to. He picked me, the girl with average looks, with average intelligence that was average in just about anything. The only thing that made me special was that he was my boyfriend. Jake Cahill. He was perfect. He was the guy that stopped traffic. Captain of the football team, straight a student, all the clichés that are in every girl’s fantasy. He was also a thief. He stole every girl’s heart. Everyone who met him wanted him. I have him, but why?

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ChucyValle said...
Apr. 23, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I really like this poem. When I read it I could really imagin you standing on your porch and I could see the rain, and smell it.

My thief- A guy named Noah, 4 amazing months. We went to Israel together. He protected me from other guys harrassing me. Then he told me he would rather do drugs then be with me. Some guy.
sglaze replied...
Apr. 23, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Thank you so much :) I really appreciate it. This Noah sounds like a ginormous jerk i'm so so sorry 
. said...
Mar. 28, 2010 at 9:11 pm
i like it it is really short the wording was good your sentences were off a little but even i have trouble with that and my thief was a mr. dominique sweet smart funny hanndsom and dump me after two long years
sglaze replied...
Apr. 23, 2010 at 8:48 pm
So sorry about mr. dominique :( Thanks for the feedback!
sleeplessdreamer said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 5:13 pm
I think that this is a bit choppy. You need to organize your sentence structures to relate better with the others. I love the idea of it, and I think if you sat down and fooled with some of the words this could be a killer article. Keep up the work.
....P.S. Haven't found my thief yet.... Maybe I'm too busy doing the thieving?? Just kidding.
sglaze replied...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Thanks for the feedback!!!!
Ally25 said...
Mar. 22, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Noah acutuly is my theif --true story...anyways good story..keep writing. I realy think that you could have described him better how he looks but over all ..good story.
sglaze replied...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Thanks so much for the feedback :)
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