That's her... Part 1

March 1, 2010
By Jakeyboy123 BRONZE, Dallas, Texas
Jakeyboy123 BRONZE, Dallas, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Pass the ketchup"

It was the beginning of my freshman year, and I was just about as nervous as any other guy there. I closed the car door to my mom’s black suburban, and drew in a deep breath. I walked onto the sidewalk rimming the front of the high school I had been waiting to attend since I was seven.
I saw my two closest friends, Zack and Topher. (Topher is short for Christopher, but he didn’t want to be called Chris because there were 4 other guys in our grade with the same name.) “Hey guys.” I said coolly, trying not to let my nervousness seep through. They turned their heads and greeted me back. I let out a deep sigh. “High school. Hmm…it’s really weird that we are here already!” Zack laughed and replied, “Yeah but look at all the gorgeous girls!” Topher followed with a vigorous head nod and a laugh. Looking around, I realized they were right. There were tons of beautiful girls surrounding us. The bell rang. We all started to move into the building.
This high school was huge. There were so many other kids, all scattered about frantically trying to find their class rooms on time, and catching up with old friends. I looked down at my class schedule that was tightly gripped in my hand, and saw that my first period was Algebra, a subject I was not fond of at all. ROOM 3012. I had no idea what I was doing, much less where to go, so I spotted a teacher and asked for directions.
I finally got to my class room, and surprisingly I wasn’t late. The class room was big, filled with other kids with nervous expressions slapped on their faces. I sat on the second row of desks next to one of my friends Jaden, who I’ve known since second grade. “Hey man, how’s it going?” He said. “Crazy...” I replied, laughing. “Yeah yeah, I know what you mean, dude. I’m mad summer is over...” He said. A man who was obviously the teacher walked up to the front of the class room. “Settle down please...Hello, students. I’m Mr. Dudding, your Algebra teacher. Welcome to high school. Are you all nervous?” He said jokingly. The classroom nervously laughed. “Ahhh…I see! Well since the bell has already ringed, I’m going to go ahead and start class!” The sound of a door handle rattled, and the door slowly opened, making the entire student’s attention draw to the distraction.
And that’s when she walked in.

The author's comments:
Life events..

this is only the first part or "chapter" I guess you could looking for the others!!

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This article has 16 comments.

on Mar. 30 2010 at 8:50 pm
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."

omigosh this is awesome!!! LOVE it :) i think it's amazing how you built everything up to that last line. brilliant! can't wait for the rest :)

nutmeg212 GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:16 pm
nutmeg212 GOLD, Coventry, Rhode Island
11 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't worry about it." -V.Z.

I want to know what happens!!!! keep on writing!

on Mar. 17 2010 at 3:07 pm

on Mar. 13 2010 at 10:55 pm
choirchic101 SILVER, Norwalk, California
9 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
in order for God to use all of you you have to be completely broken

ummmm hello wrote more please. i want to know what happens. great way of just leaving it open for imaginations to try and figure out the rest of the story. check out some of my stuff. i have poems stories and opinoins. let me kow what you think. i'm open to all criticism good or bad. WRITE MORE PLEASE

on Mar. 13 2010 at 5:54 pm
Drama_Queen13 DIAMOND, Nantucket, Massachusetts
51 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live Life Like A Song."

Wow! I will DEFINAITLY be looking for more, in fact I might hunt you down looking for more. Lolz, I'm kidding. Could you read my story? Its called, Our Summer in the fiction section under Romance. Or you can just click on my screenname to find it. KEEP WRITING

serena SILVER said...
on Mar. 11 2010 at 4:11 pm
serena SILVER, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"its better to burn out then fade away." -Kurt Cobian ♥


on Mar. 11 2010 at 1:31 am
Jakeyboy123 BRONZE, Dallas, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Pass the ketchup"

Part 2 will be posted March 11th! :D


on Mar. 10 2010 at 5:08 pm
SilverLuna SILVER, _________, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come fairies take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.".... W.B. Yeats.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Gah! Great cliff-hanger, hurry up so i don't take a nose-dive down that said cliff! lol (;

on Mar. 10 2010 at 4:47 pm
too-many-devens SILVER, Vacaville, California
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”-Bob marley

i wanna know who she isssss!!!!! write more please. ima cry if you dont. lol

on Mar. 9 2010 at 4:35 pm
afosnight BRONZE, Mantua, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” -unknown

this is a good start. its nice to read a romance from a guy. my only suggestions r

1: like 3 sentences in a row at the beginning start with the word "I"

2: keep writing!


on Mar. 7 2010 at 9:01 pm
CarsonGooch BRONZE, Gilbert, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." -Professor Dumbledore

Holy shit ! Keep writing man!! It's always great to read a romance by a guy, that way chicks get the REAL advise... hahhaa. Keep it up!! Can't wait to read more!

on Mar. 7 2010 at 6:40 am
Rosalie PLATINUM, Maryville, Tennessee
48 articles 0 photos 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
-you have many to learn but nothing to lose.
-the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else...
-good girls are bad girls that dont get caught.

great start!

i'm looking forward to your next work!

on Mar. 7 2010 at 3:34 am
LittleInside GOLD, Kearney, Nebraska
12 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors." - Jim Morrison

I really like how you wrote the beginning. You have good description and you have a clear view on personalities.

I would like to see:

*Some more personalities and conflicts with the friends that may prove problematic in the future.

*The next chapter darn it! D:<

Overall very good though. ^_^

on Mar. 5 2010 at 4:57 pm
ClockworkLightbulb SILVER, Nottingham, Other
8 articles 5 photos 36 comments
Good suspense(: Good so far(:

on Mar. 4 2010 at 7:19 pm
biggerinfinities SILVER, Superior, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

i like it, but i think if you added more deatail, it would it would be even better

on Mar. 4 2010 at 6:06 pm
YoureCrazy GOLD, Loveland, Colorado
10 articles 2 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh, it keeps the world from falling apart"

this is a good piece... keep on doing this


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