He watched her from a distance, eyes like turquoise wandering over her form. He licked his lips unconsciously as she took a drag on her cigarette. The ember at the end glowed brightly for a second before she pulled the stick back from darkly painted lips blowing out smoke in a exhale of smog. It was fascinating watching her as she smoked, a bitter sweet longing filled him even as she colored her lungs the same obsidian color of her nails. The nails that at night he imagined scratching down his back painfully but oh so sweetly, leaving behind long red marks. He gave a shudder at the thought, his heart had increased in tempo to a frantic beating against his ribs, fluttering like a sparrow who had caught sight of a cat. There she was, like a panther, leaning against the wall with her long dark hair spilling down her shoulders, green eyes staring out from beneath long bangs of hair, an eerie color. Her eyes most definitely resembling that of the jungle cat he compared her to. Her eyes flickered over to his direction and stopped right on him, her eyes staring into his own for several seconds. She had seen him and with a curse he stepped back. “Wait.” A soft raspy voice that you wouldn't expect from the small feminine creature. She stepped forward, her long black skirt sweeping the ground as she approached him slowly. The panther was stalking him, slowly it crept forward and she licked her lips once causing him to lick his own and clench together his now sweaty palms. “I wa-wasn't watching y-you.” He stuttered out. A smirk turned up the corners of her lips and she rolled her eyes. “I'm not bothered by it, do not worry yourself.” How odd she spoke with an accent and as if she was from a different time entirely. It was entrancing and he took a step forward even when his mind screamed to take one back. “Do you smoke?” She questioned, reaching into a pocket of her hooded sweater to pull out a pack of Newport 100's. He shook his head as she offered the pack to him and she frowned. “They're good for you, you know.” It wasn't a question a statement rather as if she accepted it as fact and so should he. Again he shook his head, he felt nervous now. Even after hours upon hours of days spent talking to her he didn't know what to say now that he was presented with the opportunity. Stuffing his hands in to the pockets of his jeans he shrugged. “I heard they make you lungs black.” It was common knowledge that smoking was bad for you, but she seemed to think otherwise. Without even knowing the girl he wanted to stop her from hurting herself in anyway possible. A silly thought and he was embarrassed just thinking it. A chuckle emitted from her, and he looked at her questioningly. The chuckle drew out in to a laugh, slow and deliberate and far too sexy. “There are parts of me far blacker than that.” She reached a hand up placing it against her heart the pack of cigarettes still in her hand. “Or at least it would be if it was even there.” She chuckled again, dark and sinister but still appealing to his senses. He gave a hesitant smile unsure of how to react. Her hand fell back to her side as she stuffed the pack back in to her pocket. “---” She spoke the name softly, his own name that he had longed for her to say for long. He was surprised she knew his name much less chose to say it. “Lilianna.” he repeated her name to her, blushing even as he said it. The light pink staining his cheeks as he looked away from her. At his choice of name she grimaced. “It's Lili” The cigarette she had been holding dropped to the pavement. Her black combat boot heel snubbing it out quickly. She gazed back up at him after making sure the tobacco was now unlit. “So, ---, why are you stalking me?” She smirked, it was sultry though, her eyes twinkling with amusement and in his own hopeful mind he saw desire. “I wasn't stalking you.” He mumbled looking away. He raised a hand to the back of his neck scratching at it in his uncomfortable position. “Bulls***.” She said the word casually as if cursing came second nature to her, and he was sure it did. “You've been following me for weeks, you're like a love sick puppy.” She laughed and he felt slightly angry at her for embarrassing him like this. “I'm only curious about you.” A gruff reply as he looked at her feeling irritated at both her and himself. “It's beyond curiosity child, you are enamored with me.” The word child was so demeaning but the way she said it made it better, she said it as she would to a friend. Friend? He wanted more than that but it would have to do for now. It was true that he was enamored with her, he wouldn't admit it to her, but to himself he did. From the moment he had seen her, he had been intrigued, intrigued and wanting to know more about her, know everything possible. It was silly to think he was already in love with her but he knew was, at least he thought he was, but then again he thought other silly things. That's what having a deranged mind was like.
The deranged mind
February 1, 2010