I Hate You, I Love You | Teen Ink

I Hate You, I Love You

February 4, 2010
By WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."


Every night I go to bed thinking about you. Sometimes, I fall asleep smiling; other times, I slip away in tears. I stay up late now because I like to analyze every situation that involves you. It's also because I want to put off the dreams. I hate those dreams. They won't go away. Yet when I don't have them, I wake up mad. When I can't remember my dreams, I know there's a possibility you were there; it makes me want to cry, both from frustration and because I actually want to remember. Your name pops into my head as soon as I wake up. I see your face there, shining, and I can't stand it. On the bus, I don't talk to anybody. I think of you. I wish you were there. I wish you would offer me a ride to school in your truck. I wish I didn't wish that. I get to school, and I take the long way to my class in hopes of seeing you. I never have, but I won't stop. I take longer at my locker in case you pass. You don't. In class, I can't concentrate. You have overtaken my brain. Because I hang onto everything you say, everything makes me think of you. I want you to just leave, get out of my head. But I like you there. I wish I was in your head. I wish you thought of me this much. I wish you knew. I'll never tell you. When I talk to my friends, I avoid your name completely. They can't know. They probably do, but I like pretending. It's easier this way. You probably know, but you've never asked. I hope you do so I can deny it. I'll make it obvious, though, because you deserve to know. You deserve to know everything. I go to lunch in hopes of sitting by you. My friends are there, too, though. I want them to leave. I want it to be us. Always just us. It never will be though. I have to accept that. You don't even know. When the lunch bell rings, my heart drops, just like every time I see you. The bell means goodbye. I hate goodbyes. The further I get away from you, the more my stomach settles down. You have that effect on me. I love it, but I wish it would go away. Back to class means back to thoughts of you. I do my work, but I don't know what I do. I'm like a zombie. It's your fault for being perfect. Please, stop being perfect. It gives me nightmares. The bell rings and it's time to go home. I hate home because there's no chance of seeing you. It's just me and my thoughts of you. I go to sleep as soon as I get home because I might dream of you. I hope I don't, but I still go to sleep. Besides, if I don't, I might text you. If I text you, I might say something stupid. If I say something stupid, you might not like me anymore. You only like me as a friend; I don't know why I care. It's not what I want -- our friendship -- but it is what I need. My dad gets mad that I sleep everyday. When he yells at me, it means nothing. I would get yelled at for you. I wonder what you would do for me. Then, it's nighttime again, and I'm back where I started. I love you. You feel nothing for me. This hurts. I don't want it to stop. 



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This article has 17 comments.


awats1 said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 7:47 pm
This was absolutely amazing. I'll be honest, it gripped me from the first sentence, and dragged me down into the deep emotional pool of the narrator. You have a gift ... hopefully you're using it. ;)

on Feb. 19 2010 at 5:53 pm
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have no idea how much that means to me!

on Feb. 19 2010 at 11:03 am
Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stupid Is As Stupid Does." -Forest Gump (;
"No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."

This is so true. Love hurts, but you dont want it to go away... You explained everything so beautifully, keep writing.

on Feb. 11 2010 at 10:15 am
DallysGrrl PLATINUM, Middlesex, New Jersey
20 articles 0 photos 199 comments
Yaa i just think that its awesome that u were able 2 do that. Great job! Kudos 2 u! And keep writing, i was really inspired.

on Feb. 10 2010 at 9:14 pm
Lovestonedloser GOLD, Orlando, Florida
17 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your always looking down, you'll never see the beauty of the stars.

Wow...this is...AMAZING!

Comment on some of my work if you don't mind. I'm trying to get opinions on my second part of "A blood Promise" and others as well.

on Feb. 10 2010 at 9:06 pm
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Thank you soooo much! I tried to write from the heart so I'm glad it came out that way! I feel so much Better knowing so many of you can relate to this! Thank youuuu!

on Feb. 10 2010 at 9:05 pm
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

on Feb. 10 2010 at 8:16 pm
DallysGrrl PLATINUM, Middlesex, New Jersey
20 articles 0 photos 199 comments
This is hit home really hard. Its lik u had the same experience as me!!!! I luv luv luv this!!!! wow wow wow. This really is amazing. WOW!!

on Feb. 10 2010 at 6:25 pm
storyofmylife PLATINUM, Mt. Olive, Alabama
27 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
If life gives you lemons. Paint them green and pretend they're limes.

this is a relationiship i had for five years. hit me straight in the heart, and kept me hooked from the first line. i absolutely loved it. wonderful job.!!!! ;>

on Feb. 10 2010 at 3:06 pm
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Thank you so much!!! Your comments made me laugh :D that means alot. I'm glad so many people can understand

angier GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 10:15 am
angier GOLD, Centerville ,Pa, Pennsylvania
12 articles 6 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. "

No I love your work !

I hate the love game ... haha

srry -- I read it and it sounded like I was dissing it - I wasnt ...

angier GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 10:14 am
angier GOLD, Centerville ,Pa, Pennsylvania
12 articles 6 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. "

Hello, omg - you had to have wrote this for me - !! I have the excact same feeling - I hate him I love hime -get out of my life - please dont go away ...

I hate it - it utterly and literally sucks !! Please check out my work !! Please - I think you will like it ...

on Feb. 9 2010 at 10:09 pm
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Thank you so very much. That means the world to me. I will check out yours. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

on Feb. 9 2010 at 10:02 pm
loveibanez BRONZE, Maumee, Ohio
4 articles 1 photo 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" -Ben Franklin

I read the title of your piece and I instantly clicked on it. I swear you wrote this for me! haha, I totally understand your feelings and relate to every word. You wrote it beautifuly and in such a unique way. A while back I published something on here called 'Dear You, Love Liar' It is in this same nature but you portrayed the emotion much better than I did! But check it out still please? Great job, Keep writing, and I am so favoriting this! (That part where you say the bell means goodbye? That sentence runs though my mind everyday as the 5th period bell rings. And 6th period? I am totally zoned out thinking about him! It's crazy and I hate it!

on Feb. 9 2010 at 5:24 pm
SilverLuna SILVER, _________, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come fairies take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.".... W.B. Yeats.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

I think this is so great, I know how this feels with perfect clarity. You're a good writer, keep it up!

on Feb. 9 2010 at 2:20 am
WriteForLove GOLD, New Iberia, Louisiana
13 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad somebody understands (:

on Feb. 8 2010 at 8:29 pm
Charly.Jo. BRONZE, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
That is A-MA-ZING!! I Know exactly how u feel!