I love you, my friend...

January 27, 2010
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I stared deep into your eyes, trying to reach down into your soul, but you locked me out of your life and gave nothing away. When I reached for you, you pushed me roughly aside. When I spoke to you, you blocked your ears and refused to listen. Whenever I looked at you, with questioning eyes, you turned away, with unseeing eyes. I tried to be there for you as best as I could, but you wouldn’t let me come near you. I was so confused and hurt by your actions that I did not know what to do. I was lost inside, lost without you.
What happened to those times, where we could all laugh together, and share the sorrow that pained us? Where has it all gone? Do you not remember any of this at all? Or are you only pretending not to, on purpose? Is it all just useless information that has lost its value to you? Tell me, Sere, for once, please, just tell me truth…”
She looked away towards the door, as if she was longing to escape. A sudden wave of angriness crashed over me, and I thought to myself, silently fuming, “You dare leave, Serena, and I promise I will never speak to you again,”
I clenched my fists into tight balls, (so no particle whatsoever could pass through), and tried to take a deep breath in. The room seemed to darken, and I felt a pit-feeling in my stomach, when suddenly she turned back to face me, and grabbed onto me as tightly as she could, holding on for dear life, and burst into a JGJG sobbed.
All my breath was knocked out of me, as I tried to figure out what had just happened. I was about to push back, when a sudden swell of deep emotions reached my heart, and my knees weakened abruptly, and I tried not to fall over. Serena seemed so small and vulnerable all of a sudden, that I just had the urge to embrace her back, hold her tightly in my arms, safe, forever…
Tears tumbled down her cheeks in torrents, and she whispered into my hair, “Oh, Sal, I’m sorry…”
We swayed from side to side, and I softly whispered back, “Ssh…it’s alright; I’m here for you…”

“I can’t let go of you, because whenever I try to let go, you grab back on to me instead. We’ll never be separated,”
I followed the moonlit path, and stood facing the sea. It was a beautiful Summer’s night, but I was too deep in thought to embrace the beauty. I shivered.
“Why are you doing this to me, to yourself…? Don’t you care about me anymore? Why are you so eager to just shatter our friendship into nothing but a hazy memory..?” I desperately whispered into the cold night air. A seagull screeched in the distance, and I heard the whoosh of its wings as it soared, freely, nearby.
I took a shaky breath, and sobbed, “I- I really, never thought you were like this, Sere,”
It was as if my words had been swallowed by the night, ((and secretly delivered. ))
Suddenly, I could feel someone’s presence beside me. Shivers raced down my spine, (but I was not afraid).
“I never wanted to hurt you, Sal,” her voice was crystal clear as it cut through the silence, and grabbed at my heart.

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