Sitting in a well worn swivel wheeled chair wearing a loose tie and a rolled-up-cuffs Macy’s dress shirt with bloodshot eyes and bags right under to go along, I look like an overdosed coke head. Zoning; with my scruffy, unshaven, face and my anything but neat hair. What would my mother think of my hair? Well, never mind that, she’s not here. But that donut right across from me on my colleague’s desk is. Who would take one bite out of a donut and them just leave it there? I mean why would you even take a bite out of a donut? Especially her. I mean, she’s already like, what, 50 pounds overweight? Dose she even care about what she looks like; about what people think of her? With that pencil jammed between the side of her head and her ear; and what’s up with her hair? Does she ever brush it? Whatever, back to that donut she so carelessly left on her desk to feast upon at a later time. It looks so good… but wait, I don’t want to eat that! It has to have at least 6 million calories in it and… but it’s just right there and plus there’s nothing else to eat and she’s not going to eat it. Well, not right now at least.
But wait, I don’t want to look like her and there’s a good possibility that if I eat that donut I could wake up tomorrow and look exactly like her. No, that’s ridiculous!
I don’t even know that girls name. I wish she would turn just the slightest bit so I could see her name tag. I’ll just sit here waiting for her to turn; I have nothing better to do. Now she’s turning and I see her name. But she’s turning more than I wanted her to, she turns and is now looking at me with a mixture of a what-the-hell-do-you-want and a f**k-off expression. As I look at her in this awkward silence it seems like forever so I smile and quickly turn away. Wow, if that wasn’t awkward! I hope she doesn’t… no… no way! Ok, I hope she doesn’t think I’m into her ‘cause that would just be super…..bad!
But… hmmm I want that donut. Now what? What if I ask her for it? Then she will definitely think I like her.
But I don’t even know her.
And in the midst of all these thoughts I quickly glance over to see if she is looking at me. Oh! She’s not at all! She’s looking at my donut! Hey! That’s my donut! (I almost said it out laud). And then the worst of all my fears becomes reality; she picks up my donut and jams the whole thing right into that gaping mouth of hers. It’s unbearable to watch! I turn away in shock and horror she wipes her face off and licks her fat fingers as the tiniest little crumbs fall to her desk. I turn back as she dusts her hands off with glee and contentment and starts working again. I just sit here, a tear almost running down my face. I just can not believe that that fat woman would eat my donut. It was mine! What right did she have to it? I would have eaten it nice and slow, enjoying every bite. But she had to just gobble it down like a freaking T-Rex! Now, as I’m sitting here glaring at her and thinking all these horrible thoughts, she turns and looks right at me. And then, with remnants of donut still in her mouth, she smiles.