To Think of You as a Distant Memory

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I always loved the feeling of the cold winter air touch my lips, the feeling of the warm sand grinding in between my toes, and the ice cold water droplets softly falling from the dark sky onto my body.Even the taste of chocolate, melting slowly and sweetly upon my tongue. There are some things in this world I will never forget. I will never forget your soft hands gentle to the touch, or the way when your grey eyes met mine they told me that everything will be alright. If only everything was alright. I only wish that we could spend these feelings together, but we live in two separate worlds. We are only together in our memories and dreams.
What, what happened to us?
Life is so fragile but so important, almost like an egg. If held to tight it’ll burst, or if not held firm enough it can just slip right through your hands. Like life, an egg needs care and time. If it’s not cared well enough and not given the proper time it could die and fade away.
When, when did my egg go bad?
There are some things in this world I won’t miss. The stinging pain of a hand across the cheek, the hot tears that form at the corner of my eye, and the feeling of not knowing why he hated me. Only you, only you understood. Haunted by the screaming, haunted by the pain, and haunted by how I will never see you ever again.
Why, why did he do it?
Heaven isn’t heaven unless you are with me. If only you could be, if only I had listened to you. Why, why didn’t I listen? Why didn’t I run away with you like you wanted? Why did I have to come home that night? Why didn’t I fight back? Why did he hate me? Coming home to him, his drunken hate filled eyes staring down on me. The begging, the pleading, It all seemed like a bad dream. I know too well that it wasn’t. Knocking me to the ground, the blood stained on his and my clothes. When all hope seems to fade, an angel comes. The sound of hitting and screaming, the sound of my heart in my ears, and the sound of silence when it ends. You are my angel, my hero, my love. My eyes darken, the pain slowly fades, and all I can feel is your tears falling upon my face and your touch. Three words, three final words crawl out of my mouth before my egg cracks.
I love you
Seconds before my egg could hit the ground four words hit my ears. The four words that came out of your sweet mouth, I love you too. My egg had cracked. Now I rest, rest without worries, without pain, without you.

Now, now I wait for you.





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