The morning sun gleamed with pink and golden hues behind the snowcapped mountain peaks. It spread color across the sky and reflected down on the chilly water of the lake below; the beauty was remarkable. It was like watching a perfect photograph grow and change in front of our awe-struck eyes. I let out a resonant breath into the wintry air, accompanied by a cloud of fog due to the northern January temperatures and then leaned into Adrian’s welcoming arms. He was so warm and comforting to my petite body that was always susceptible to the cold. These moments together were the most precious of all the time we spent together; holding one another, admiring the amazing world around us. I already miss him. It was times like these where we let them pass in serene quietness, reading each others thoughts in the calm. I allowed myself to picture this exact same scene, many long years from then with our matching wrinkles and rolls and fluffy, gray hair; but deep down I know that I shouldn’t. It only makes it harder to let go. Foolishly, I let a tear gather and slide gradually down my flushed cheek. He didn’t seem to notice. Suddenly I turned and gazed up at his somber face, the familiar face I had fallen in love with so many years previous. His eyes wandered and then caught my gaze and locked with it; I could read the anguish in them and it tore at my throbbing heart. He forced an angelic smile and squeezed me closer to his side. I don’t know how long we stood there like that, holding each other, loving each other, missing each other. A few days later I would be the one holding him close as he sleeps in a rigid hospital bed for final time. I dreaded the nurses fussing over his helpless body, trying to make the last few days of suffering pass as pleasantly as possible. I tried to dismiss the selfish thoughts and remember what he has been going through for so long and that I have to be thankful for all the time we had together and all the experiences we’ve shared. The most memorable and wonderful memories of my life so far involve his contagious laugh and gentle manner and his incredible way of being happy and caring despite the situation. I love him all the more for that and I wish I could be as good as him. He has taught me so much about life, compassion and accepting what is thrown your direction. There is a reason for everything, and although I wont be able to spend anymore winter morning sunrises in Adrian’s arms, I’m so grateful for the ones that I did get to spend with him, especially the last.
winter morning sunrise
January 8, 2010