A Love To Die For

October 10, 2009
The warm steady flowing water caressed every curve of my body, I let it engulf me completely; mind body and soul. I was in a whole other world; the shower cap purposely over my ears so that all I could hear was the illusion of rain falling made by the shower head. I had finished washing up about twenty minutes ago, but the calmness of the shower embraced me and I didn’t want to let go. It was my escape from the real world. Somewhere I could actually hear myself, somewhere where it was truly all about me, somewhere….
Two loud knocks came from the other side of the bathroom door, “Tina, Tina, come out here.” The peacefulness that once filled the room was now gone, just a pigment of my imagination; I knew it was too good to be true. I turned off the shower slowly counting backwards from ten trying to keep my calm. As I opened the glass door that led me back into reality I realized how hard it had become to breath. The thick dense cloud of warmth that covered the walls and blurred the mirrors had taken up all the oxygen supply of the room; I walked over to the two wooden doors that opened up to the bathroom balcony allowing the cool April breeze work its way through the room.
“Hello, Tina you in there?” a smooth, sexy , deep , angry voice called again from the other side of the door.
“What is it Anthony?” I asked agitated. My muscles tightened and I tried to contain a shiver when the cold bedroom air tried to deprive me of my warmth. My efforts did succeed for too long. My muscles went into a full spasm; my teeth began to chatter. This wasn’t a chill of fear, thrill, or arousal; this was a chill of anger, a chill that didn’t come too often but when it did, nothing good every came out of it.
Anthony was pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed, his face flushed, both hands at his side clenched into fists.
“Ant, what the hell happened?” I asked, anxiously waiting for a response. I kept my distance, staying in the bathroom doorway; knowing from experience that approaching him in this state just wasn’t the best thing to do. After about two minutes of watching him walk back and forth, back and forth, I’d had it, “Darnit Anthony answer me!”
He stopped and looked at me, his perfect dark brown eyebrows creased inward and this crazed look in his hazel green eyes that looked grey from a distance. He sighed and passed his hand over his face as if he could wipe away the anger. My body grew hot when I noticed his bloody knuckles and cut on his chin that I was sure would leave a mark on his beautiful olive colored face.
He sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over, his index and thumb gripping the bridge of his nose; he chuckles, “Baby, you won’t effin believe this!”
He made a loud sigh before he continued, “Remember that money Johnny owed Pop?” he questioned looking over at me. I nodded my head. “So, I’m at Timmy’s and we’re counting the money, then we here shots from upstairs”, his eyes got distant like he was trying to remember every detail. “Being us, we drop what we’re doing and pull out our guns. We start making our way upstairs…Timmy’s got my back right; I ain’t even hear Johnny’s *ss come up from behind, but by the time I did notice he had grabbed Timmy and had a gun to his head.”
I was so into the story that I had forgotten I was standing there with my towel still on; but the April winds had no probably reminding me. I made my way over to the dresser and started to lotion up. I continued to watch him from the mirror.
He clenched his jaw and licked his blood stained lips, “Tina when I say I was angry ooh...” I knew he meant that there was no way to describe it, “, but I kept my cool Tina, ‘cause that’s all I could really do. Now, Johnny starts running off at mouth talking about how he don’t owe Pop sh*t and he wants all his money back. Then,” he paused and sighed, “Tina you listening?”
“Yeah Tony keep going…he wanted all his money back.., “I said wiggling myself into my black leather pants I hadn’t worn for at least eight months, I was surprised that they had still fit me.
“Then, one of Johnny’s partners comes up behind me and puts a gun to my back. You how I get in those types of situations” he was now up off the bed, his hands in the pockets of perfectly new ruined khaki pants. “I go off” he said shrugging his shoulders, “I grab the guy by his neck, flip him over my shoulder and start beating his face in. There was no coming back for him but, that when Johnny kicked me in the face and I rolled off the guy.” He touched the still fresh cut on his chin and his jaw clenched.
“Stupid son of a b*tch,” I said under my breath as I finished clasping the hooks on my corset. I guess I had said it louder than I had expected…
“That’s exactly what I said babe” I start to make my way over to the shoe closet to grab my red leather boots that would match perfectly with the red shirt under the corset.
“I was getting so mad I felt kind of dizzy, but I wasn’t gonna give up so easy”, he said leaning himself up against the door frame of the bathroom. I was sitting at my bureau putting my hair up into a ponytail when he walked over to me watched me through the mirror.
He smiled that sly smile that I had fell in love with so long ago and continued to stare.
“What are you staring at?” I giggled like a little girl at the playground.
“How beautiful you are.” If my cocoa colored skin had allowed it my cheeks would have been the color of my red leather boots. The feelings of new love trickled its way from every chamber of my heart and through my blood stream sending a funny feeling to fingers and toes.
“Oh you’re good!” I said realizing what he was doing, “what are not telling me Ant?”
“What are you talking about baby girl?”
“Oh, see you only call me baby girl when you’re hiding something Anthony.”
“I really don’t know what you’re talking baby”, he chuckled.
“Finish the story.” I got up from my chair and stood in front of him with my arms crossed…which meant I was serious.
He made another one of his heavy sighs, “Okay…so by the time I was up and ready to go at it, Johnny had two other guys surrounding him. He handed Timmy and his gun to one of them and started to go off at the mouth again”
“So you beat his *ss”, I interjected.
“His *ss yes,” he said with a smirk on his face and putting his hands around my waist, “the other two not so much.”
“Oh Anthony they jumped you”, my heart sank thinking of my Anthony stuck in a situation like that.
He nodded his head and put on his infamous puppy dog face, “When they saw that I was beating Johnny they came into help.”
“Aw poor baby” I said softly kissing his lips making sure not to hurt him anymore, “wait, where was Timmy in all of this?”
“I think they knocked him out before they came to rescue Johnny”, he got a perplexed look his face and continued, “I blacked out after a while, I’m surprised that they left me alive.”
“Anthony Johnny’s your cousin…I’m sure he has a little love for you somewhere”

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