The King and I (short story)

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I never thought I would feel this way for him Even tough I hated him for his narcissism but now I understand what he really is.
As I lean at his shoulders looking at his face. His handsome pricey like face. Blue eyes and Black hair. It's like an angel. I love the way he brushes his fingers to my face. Looking at him gives me chills.
I was wrong the whole time. We lay under the tree, watching the sunset. There we kissed passionatly. Together in our world.





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mhafner said...
Oct. 10, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Your ideas are very clear, and powerful, but using metaphors and similes would improve your writing. For example, he's blue eyes and black hair is like an angel. As a reader I can feel the emotion behind the words and that is always a sign of an excellent writer
 
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