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Don't Say You Love Me

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It should be the perfect night. We are alone, and it seems like every star ever created has burst forth into the sky, timidly at first, but then with full zest, just to make this moment even more special for him, and worse for me.
I’m not afraid of commitment, not per se. And I like Ed, I really do. It’s just, whenever anyone comes close to saying they love me, I like to take a walk. Permanently. And it’s not even like I was ever scarred for life at any point. I just don’t like to get serious. Per se. I’m a party girl.
Per se.
He looks across at me, and smiles. God, I love that smile, thinks my inner commitment-obsessed angel. No, you hate that smile! Exclaims my inner commitment? Hell no! Devil. That is the smile of someone who’s going to tell you he loves you, ad then you’ll be obliged to say you love him too! My inner devil speaks sense. I have to distract Ed...
“Brrr,” I say in the most exaggerated of tones, “It’s freezing. We should go inside and join the others.”
“Are you cold?” He asks concernedly, looking at me with those deep, penetrating blue eyes. Concentrate! I tell myself, but I can’t seem to shake off that feeling of utter warmth and contentment when he shakes off his jacket and rests it gently on my shoulders. I smile weakly.
“Thanks.” I squeak. He’s making it sooooo hard to run...
“Listen, Georgie,” he says, brushing a strand of hair away from my face, and looking deep into my eyes, “You look beautiful tonight, and it just seems right...” he pauses, deliberating whether or not to say it. Don’t say it, don’t do it, please, I’m so happy with you, I just want it to stay the same...I think. Distract him, quickly, before he makes a decision...
“Cucumbers!” I blurt out. A slight frown creases his forehead.
“What?” he asks, confused as to the sudden change of subject. Nice one Georgie, I think. Oh well, must continue on now...
“Aren’t actually a vegetable!” I exclaim, as if it is of any relevance at all whatsoever. “Most people think they are, but they’re not you know, they’re actually a fruit, like a tomato, and they both grow on vines, like pumpkins, and squash, and zucchini, and...” Ed moves forward quickly and presses his lips against mine in a warm, comfy kiss.
It’s the not first time I’ve been kissed. It’s not even the first time he’s kissed me. It’s all happened before, more than just that, but this...this seems to be different. And it’s almost perfect, until it ends, and Ed smiles, and says:
“Georgie, I love you.”



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