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In my opinion, there are some things in life that are simply too important to pass up.
Here I sit, head down, across the room from the most beautiful creature I’d ever laid eyes on. I’ve ogled over her for what seems like an eternity now, but, as my father would put it, I’ve never been “man” enough to go up and talk to her. Even now, as I could feel smidgeons of confidence and hope in my heart, I lack the courage to grace myself with her presence.
Irritated, I begin to run my hand through my hair and mutter under my breath. The sounds of the noisy cafeteria are nothing more than insignificant annoyances, yet they mock me in a nonsensical sort of way. I shift uncomfortably at my lonely table consisting only of myself. Time is of the essence and I can literally feel it slip away.
I’ve waited for this moment for my entire life haven’t I? Yes. Why am I wasting it then?
“I don’t know…” My self addressed whisper goes unheard by everybody. My hands continue to cling to my disheveled hair in a habit of apprehension. This is my chance, right? Subtly, I cast another glance over at her as if to affirm my suspicions. Yes, this has to be it.
Alone, she sits. She never sits alone; it’s just not part of her nature. Yet here and now, at this time and at this very place, she is alone. Just like myself. No annoying group of girls surrounding her like a social barrier, or some flock of jocks attempting to woo her. There she sits, alone, absentmindedly watching her uneaten food with a stoic expression and twirling a lock of her hair, as if contemplating something. But of course she doesn’t see me. Nobody sees me.
Out of courtesy I usually don’t permit myself to stare, but God, she’s so beautiful. The one place in the entirety of the cafeteria where the light from a window shines, she sits; the rays illuminating her brilliant features as if she were an angel. However, with all of the beauty, there’s always something missing; one small, almost unrecognizable, smudge on her radiance. I watch as a small sigh escapes her lips. She seems so… Sad.
I groan to myself and once again count to ten, promising that on the last count I’d go to her.
“Seven. Eight. Nine… Ten.” Still no movement on my part. At this, I groan inwardly yet again and let my head fall in defeat. There’s no use is there? I’m nothing but a coward.
Just as I was about to wallow in my pathetic defeat, out of the corner of my eye I see that she had buried her face in her hands. What? Alone, and now miserable? Something’s not right… My heart tore at the sight.
That’s it. No more running away or hiding like a coward. The opportunity has presented itself, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it pass me by.
With newfound determination, albeit also a fearful pounding heart, I rise from my desolate table of nobody and walk, with every ounce of confidence I have, toward her. However, each step of the way clouds my mind further with indecision and second thoughts. What if she just wants to be left alone? Am I making a mistake? Embarrassment, rejection, humiliation; all of these possibilities race through my head.
No. I have to try. Do or die as they say. My hands tremble and my throat feels uncharacteristically dry. Fear wracks my body but I keep my heavy feet moving forward. You can do this, I know you can. I tell myself self-motivating words until; at long last, I stand before her, just a cafeteria table between us.
For several moments I am unsure of what to do. My brain is in chaos, as I notice the changes taking place. Slowly, the usual busy of the cafeteria begins to die down. Silence echoes throughout the room when the last voice ceases, and the whole student body watches in amazement at the spectacle before them: me, the ghost, in front of this goddess. I take one last deep breath before plunging into Heaven or Hell.
Here goes nothing…
Her head snaps up quickly out of her hands as if I’d startled her. She looks left, and then right; all around the room until finally up my standing form to meet my eyes. No tears, or redness. She looks absolutely fine. For a split second I feel like a deer in headlights, struggling over my next words.
“A-are you alright?” I’m captivated by her eyes, never before having the chance to directly share contact with them. They are absolutely magnificent. They seem different though, but I can’t quite place what it is…
In response to my question, I am rewarded with the most extraordinary sight in history. Her face bursts into the most dazzling smile that permeates straight to the core of my being. Never had I seen her smile like this. Not with her closest friends, not during the best of times, not in the most photogenic of pictures. Nothing is missing. It’s as if the mysterious smudge had been wiped away, allowing her to shine as she was meant to be.
“I am now.”