October 18, 2009
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I watched the crooked moon settle over the horizon. I could taste the lemonade on my tongue, and I could sense the stain of tear drops on my cheeks. The thunder roared overhead. I don’t belong here, or there, or anywhere near here. But where do I belong? I should start heading home, but I'm not quite sure that I could call this new house my “home”. I’m lost, broken, and every other adjective that describes a less than perfect human being. I took a pebble from the harsh ground beneath me and skidded it across the dark and mysterious waters. It bounced twice against the cold, salty liquid and landed with a thump on a sandbar. I took one last glance at the colorful skies that stretched on for miles. If only I could soar these skies with open wings. Up above where nothing else matters. Up above where those hushed whispers, bitter laughs, and censored eyes were far behind me. Never knowing exactly where I was headed, for it was never really the destination that I sought out. I was always one to indulge and engulf in the journeys that led me to where and who I am today. But this characteristic I portray was not always on the better half of the decisions I have made, and the feelings I have felt.

My name is Alaina Williams. I’m a confused, and confusing young girl. I notice things that most passer byes ignore. I’m the girl you would pass in the hall way; that girl you would label “strange” with those ignorant and blinded eyes of yours. I enjoy nature. I wonder the streets late at night when the voices are hushed and most eyes are laid to rest. My independent attitude and the simple fact that I’m different, has put me at an odd ever since I have been faced with society. I study the way these people walk and talk in this new town. But why should it even matter? I’ve never been the type of girl who fit in, or was, might I say, part of the “popular” crowd. I feel this weird premonition deep within me that there might be a chance that things will be different here. I’m safe and secure within this personal bubble I have placed around me for so long now. I’m unapproachable and undesirable. I’ve created myself to be that way. An oddball to society. I’m alone, and that’s no ones fault but my own, but I have this feeling that there is someone, someone nearby, who will be able to deprive me of who I’ve been. Someone who will scare away the girl who provides that protective layer of skin, instead of being scared away by who she makes me seem to be.

I was being chased. I could hear quick feet behind me. The footsteps thudding against the concrete became more and more clear and abroad to my ears as the dark figures closed in. I could feel them breathing down my neck, and I could hear them whispering my name with mysterious, dark, and demented voices. But the more they said “Alaina. Alaina!” the more their voices became harsh and impatient. I gasped for breath and my heart was beating as if it were to explode from my chest any second, and then, I woke up. My aunt Crystal was standing over me with a blank expression on her face. “Time for school.” she said in a small, bitter voice. I rubbed my eyes and the room that I lay in came into a clearer vision. With a sigh, I arose from the mattress and forced myself to walk to the tall, lengthy mirror that stood in the corner. I didn’t want to look, for I knew exactly what I would see. I would see an insecure girl glaring back at me. I would not only see what I looked like physically, but what I am mentally, as if the words were written in stone across the reflective oval.

That was the day I met him. He was tall, dark, and handsome, as if he had just stepped off the set of a classic vampire movie. His eyes sharp, narrow, and mysterious, as if to hold the most precious secret within them. I walked the halls of Jernsberry High School as I noticed that there was a stiffness and awkwardness among the faces in the hall. All of the confused and questionable eyes were glancing toward me. I was used to the pretentious attitudes they exposed, and the eyes glaring and weighing me down with the facial expression of amusement as they starred at me. But no, it was not me they were glaring at, it was a tall figure a few feet behind. There was something about him that made people gawk over his presence. Something about him took the breath out of most who surrounded him. He was different. I'm not sure if he was my different, but he was indeed...different. Whispers could faintly be heard from the slowly moving lips of my pears. I turned slightly to eye what the others were staring at, and there he was. He caught my eye in an instance, and locked mine with his, as if he held an invisible rope to me, to force my gaze upon him to be held still. I took in a deep breath and I could feel my cheeks become heated, but I couldn't look away. Then, after what seemed like only a brief moment, the bell rang. The voices were loud and overpowering as normal, and the bustle of students moving briskly continued, as if nothing had happened. My cheeks felt as if someone had placed a lighter inches from my face and held it there for hours without disruption. I looked around to find the unfamiliar face, but he was only a tall figure lost in the crowd by now. I turned my attention the opposite way, and walked to first period.

It's been nearly two months since my parents passed away in a car accident. They were traveling to Florida with my brother Matt, when their car collided with an eighteen wheeler. Maybe thats why I'm so socially inadequate now then ever before. I feel like when they passed, they took a part of me with them, and ever since, I've felt so utterly lost. So thats my story. Thats what has me standing here telling you all of this at this very second. I'm just a messed up part of society that is on the brink of having a complete meltdown. My aunt says I should seek help from a psychiatrist. That just doesn't seem like the correct route for me though. Why would you want to express all your inner anger, shame, humiliation, and angst to a complete stranger? I never did understand that.

I was impatiently standing in the lunch line when I felt his presence. He was close to me, so close that I could feel his cool breath on my neck. He was watching me; I could sense his eyes staring piercingly at my back. He was strange, and I had never felt such awkwardness before, but I had no intention on stopping him from his admiration. I felt the need to confront him and give him a friendly “Hi,” but I didn't have it in me to do so. Then as if he had stared right through me, and dug deep into my thoughts, I heard a deep, dark voice speak from behind me. “Your in my Physics class, are you not?” I turned abruptly and our eyes met, and once again, I couldn't find it in me to break the stare. “Yes, yes, I am.” I stuttered. He sported a crooked smile across his beautiful and flawless face. “I'm Daniel. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He spoke. I had found him. He was going to be the person to suspend the horrible person I had been. I could read it in his eyes. I felt a rush of happiness with every word he spoke, and for the first time in months, I allowed myself to reveal a smile.

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NKsunshine said...
Oct. 26, 2011 at 7:43 pm
This is cute(:
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