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My days are washed out in my monochromic world but at night all the colors come back to life. Many bodies move together as one. Moving in flashing colored lights. Music booming. Bright glow sticks waving around. Euphoria blossoms in my mind. Every thing is good everything feels right.
Don’t have to think.
Don’t have to care.
Don’t have to feel the pressure.
Don’t have to follow the code.
All you can do is RAVE! like no tomorrow and everything will feel okay. I rave to feel alive I pray that this never ends or I might die. I rave to escape, I rave to feel free, I rave to finally feel fun, and I rave cuz no one has pressured me to.
Here everything clicks unlike abnormal reality. But who am I to talk about reality, when all I do is run back to my chimera.
Yet every good dream has to end for if you keep it for too long you may find yourself facing a nightmare. A rave to me is like a vampire, it’s beautiful and alive but ugly and dead, and I feel that one day it will eventually suck away my life.
The voices echo down the school hall and reach my acute ears. Strong pulling forces slam me against the wall. Pressure it’s always coming at you. I try to fight it, I try to break it, but it’s tough trying to swim against a strong tide.
If you were an outsider I guess you would put me in the popular stereotype cuz it appears that I have a lot of friends. Unless, people that put countless pressure on you, judge you for everything you do and make fun of you for your failures are not friends. I feel like everyone wants something from me, but I just want to be me.
Wait… What is me?
I think I forgot, which scares me. Sometimes I wish I were invisible like that kid that sits next to me in math.
I hear the clicking of high heels; Misty, my girlfriend, and her friend are gone. I take a deep breath and slide down onto the floor. Sweet relief. Why can’t someone else be in the spotlight? I know that people kill for it.
After a pressure filled day, finally, I’m out on the road heading to the next place to rave. It’s another night, another chance, to feel free, and another moment to live. Then, bang, my tire blew out. I groan with anger, I’ve just lost all chance to rave tonight. I pull my car over on the side of the road it’s too dark to fix it. I was about to call a tow truck when I smelt smoke. It was wafting over the dune and came from the beach.
Curiosity entered my mind. I walk across the street and onto the beach. There was the sound of sweet music playing nothing loud and crazy like at the raves, but something mellow. I also saw a bonfire. There weren’t that many people though, probably only five. When I approach the group they acted as if I wasn’t there.
I stare at the dancing flames, them from across the fire I saw her.
Light danced across her face
I see the girl across the fire
The world stops… everything frozen
We’re now standing on the other side of the fire
Light dances on are faces I can feel the heat from the flames
The spark has been lit
She moves with the rhythm
Her lips fine mine
I could do this till the end of time
We slowly dance late into the night. Time? Well we do not feel it move by we just dance like the flames of fire, a never-ending dance, the dance of life.
Together we walk up a dune that over looks the ocean. She sits down and motions for me to join her. I do. Tentatively, I touch her hand but I quickly recede thinking I’m crazy. Tentatively, she touches mine. Slowly are hands interlock; she looks at me and smiles. I smile back.
She points to the sky and I turn away from her to look. It’s the sun. Together we sit and watch the sun rise over the ocean. I turn away from the beautiful sun to look at something even more amazing. She’s so beautiful with the sun lighting up her face. She glows. I was about to speak but she puts her finger to my lips, like if a word was uttered it would ruin… everything. For once in my life I can enjoy the silence. I smile with relief actions do speak louder than words. She leaves.
I sit on the dune in a daze, soon I walk back to my car I see her leaving a note on my car’s windshield. She wants to meet later today at the beach. It was signed Eliza Sails.
I wake in the late afternoon. I go back out to my car to drive to the beach, as I’m about to put the car in drive my cell phone rings.
“Hello?” I answer roughly it’s been awhile since I last talked.
“Hey Russell it’s Misty.” She says bubbly.
“Oh… Hey Misty, what’s up.” I answer meekly.
“Nothing much babe. I was just calling to make sure that you remember to come to the party tonight.” It sounded like an order. Why I continue to take those orders I’ll never know.
“Oh yeah, I know,” I totally forgot about it.
She sighs dreamily. “Great cuz it wouldn’t be much fun without you.”
I hang up. I gulp and become nervous. I never wanted to date Misty but I did as a reaction to peer pressure. My friends, they told me I would be the man if I went out with that “smokin hot babe.” She makes me talk to her all the time; it annoys me. Then there are times that she plays with my emotions like when I see her flirt with other guys. She needs constant attention and she is more work than taking a run around the globe. But Eliza… she is different and blows Misty out of the water.
At the beach, Eliza greets me with a kiss. She then rubs my arm and we hold hands as we walk down the golden sand. We begin to run through ankle deep water splashing each other. She giggles with the joy of a child.
Later we are both lying down on a blanket and we watch the tide come in. We stare deep into each other’s eyes. I begin to wonder what she sees in them. Maybe she sees all the fear I’ve suffered from the pressure of my friends. She extends her arm forward and strokes my check her touch is soft and smooth. We both then get up and she hugs me. There is a pause we both look at each other and we lean in for a kiss.
After the rainstorm my vision has finally cleared everything is no longer black and white but vibrant pastel colors. I look at the culprit for this new vision of mine and hug her again. For once in my life I’ve found the real me again.
Time flew by and I was so sad that it ended, because as I saw the stellar sunset in the sky I knew it was time to say goodbye. I walk to my car and she follows me. I got in and she was still standing there looking longingly. Dam! I just couldn’t resist so I open the door and let Eliza in. I no longer care what Misty thinks.
I enter the house where the party is. It was a Rave. It felt different though the reason why is that right when I walk into the room I felt an overwhelming sense of pressure. I saw different sizes of glass bottles lined up by the kitchen island. I saw sugar on a table, with silver sticks, and pretty crystals in the back room. Why did I not feel like my old Rave self? This used to be my heaven.
I hold Eliza close I don’t want her to get hurt. I don’t want anyone to go after her. I’m her protector.
Misty walks in front of us. I gulp. “Hey Russell, let’s have a chat?” I look at Eliza next to me with horror. I didn’t want her to go but she gave me an encouraging nod.
Walking away from her was like walking away from half of my soul but I had to face my nightmare. “Yeah?” I try to play it cool.
“How dare you show up to my party with another girl. Who the hell do you think you are?” She hit my arm. I grimace not because it hurt more because I was scared of her. Misty is known to be unstable. “Do you know who I am? I’m Misty Nebula and boys don’t do that crap around me but I do it around them.”
“Cool so you can get away with messing with guys but I can’t with girls. Yea Misty you got some real good logic there.” I pause and clam myself down, “Look we need to talk,” I say solemnly.
She laughs, “Oh now we need to talk cuz you got busted. I see how it is,” She clenches her hands into fists and rises them up in the air as she screams, “God I hate you so much!” She was shaking with anger. She stops a tear runs down her face, “You were the perfect one.”
“Relationships don’t work when only one of us is perfect.” I said quietly.
“What’s your problem? I don’t get you. Everyone wants to date me,” said Misty nonplussed. She shakes her head and then smiles at me. “You know what it’s okay. I know I’ve been messing with your emotions I’ll stop and will let you slide this time. So go and ditch the slut.”
I look down at the floor anger boiling inside me. “She’s not a slut and her name’s Eliza and she’s not the one getting ditched.” I said fiercely. “I never wanted to date you my friends made me.”
“What?” She was looking around the room getting desperate she was pulling her hair. “No you can’t leave me. I NEED YOU! Let’s just… Let’s just talk this out.”
“Don’t you get it?” I yell. “That is all we do is talk. I’m sick of it and sick of you.”
Misty runs to the island in the kitchen she grabs a bottle. She downs it. She was hysterical. She rushes out of the house, slamming the door shut. Mascara was messily rubbed around her eye sockets. She hesitates outside and grabs her hair and pulls. She frees her hair and runs up to my car. She throws the bottle at the car’s window it shatters and Misty is screaming. She collapses onto the road crying. She is alone and lost.
Eliza has her hand on the glass window and is looking out at her. A tear rolls down her face. She runs outside I follow her. She helps Misty up and gives her a hug.