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My headed pounded, my eyes burned, and I felt sick. I walked down the hall blindly, praying I wouldn't see him. Then I saw him. Quickly I turned and ran down the first hall, so I didn't have to be near him. I walked slowly down the hall, my heart broken again into smaller pieces by him. Breathe I told myself, just two more classes until I get to go home, where I would be safe.
Finally home, I thought I would finally be safe from him, but of course I wasn't, I never was. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about him? Why couldn't I hate him? I wanted to hate him more than anything in the world. Ugh. I stood up from my chair, I couldn't take it anymore I couldn't avoid going to sleep anymore. Going to sleep was the worst; my dreams were always about him and how he changed his mind, how he really did love me. Each morning I'd wake and the first thing I did was cry, cry out for him, for him to be mine like he use to be.
Today was the day, the day I'd find the list of people I was going to camp with over the summer. I excitedly logged into my account from the camp to check the list. It was taking too long, I wanted it load quicker. Finally! Yes! I scanned the list, and immediately I recognized a name. Oh my gosh. I couldn't believe it! Brandon Davis was one of the best looking juniors at my school. I grabbed my phone and called my best friend, Liz. "Brandon Davis is on my trip this summer! I am going to Mexico with Brandon Davis!" I screeched.
"No! Oh my gosh! AHH!" Liz replied back with equal excitement. We went on to joke about how I was going to make him my boyfriend, the idea was outrageous, but I loved the thought.
The next day I was filled with confidence and instead of walking like a shy-freshman, I confidently walked past Brandon and the hallway. I couldn't believe how lucky I was! I wanted to scream I was so excited, July could not come quick enough.
I was finally there. I flew down with one of my friends, and we met up with other people on the trip. Then he arrived. He knew me, and I knew who he was but for the first we met. I made a little small talk, feeling confident. Then all fifteen kids from the trip loaded onto the bus, and headed to La Paz, Mexico. In the dark of the night I watched him, his blue eyes gazed out the window. Then I fell asleep, and dreamed of him for the first time.
The first week had passed. We were becoming friends, and I couldn't believe, it felt surreal to me. We were on an island off the coast of Mexico and on the last night I had my second dream about him. The next morning I decided to tell him about the weird dream about him, I made him laugh for the first time.
We loaded our stuff onto the boat that was carrying us back to the main land, and after I put my bag on I got on and sat down. Then Brandon followed and sat down next to me. My heart stopped and my stomach flipped. After he sat down he looked at me and smiled, and he moved a little bit closer. I felt amazing, I thought I was going to burst with happiness.
The boat ride seemed to go too quickly, I didn't want him to move away from me, but after an hour we reached the mainland. He stood up and grabbed his bag and jumped off the boat. My hair blew in front of my face as I watched him take off his bag. He was tall, tan, and toned. His hair had lightened up in the sun, and everyday his eyes just got bluer. He was beautiful.
The next destination was a surfing camp. We spent the first day surfing all day in the hot Mexico sun. The sun slowly went down and the sky faded from blue into orange then slowly into black. All of us sat around the table talking and laughing. Brandon sat across from me, smiling at me. I looked around for second to make sure he was starring at me. He was. I smiled back. He stood up and walked over and sat next to me. He pulled out his ipod, and told me he wanted me to listen to this one song. One song turned into ten, and then it turned into a movie. By the time we finished the movie everyone was setting up their sleeping bags to go to sleep. I grabbed my sleeping bag, and laid it down on the beach. Brandon laid his next to mine. That night we stayed up talking until at like four in the morning, for the first time.
Then for the rest of the trip my dreams came true. Once the sun went down, Brandon was mine. We laid next to each other talking at first, and then he kissed me. He lips slowly touched mine. They were slightly sunburnt and chapped, I had never felt something so great. Every night I got to feel them on my lips, it was more than I could have imagined.
One night he mumbled to me, "You have made this trip unbelievable, so much better than I thought it could have been." My heart was his. I had never felt this way about someone before. In response I kissed him hard, never wanting to stop.
Each night got better and better. I couldn't wait for the sun to go down, so I could finally be alone with him. The next night for the first time he talked about what would happen when we got back home, I couldn't believe it Brandon Davis was going to be my boyfriend when I got home! Every night he would kiss me, and whisper to me. I had never been so happy.
The last day of the trip came too fast. I didn't want to leave Brandon, it would be a month before I saw him again. He reassured me though that it would be okay, and that we would talk a lot. I felt better with that one simple sentence, he always knew what to say. So I hugged him tightly one last time.
We talked every day for the first two weeks. He told me everything: his favorite music, what he did, his cat, everything. I would wait to talk to him everyday, it was always my highlight. He even told me that his mom saw a picture of me and said that I was pretty. He would send me links to his favorite pictures of me. We joked. I joked about how I knew he'd ignore me once we were back at school because he was a big, bad senior and I was only going to be a sophomore. He told me he would never ignore me. Brandon Davis was a liar.
After a month apart, I was so excited to see him. As I got dressed for the first day, I thought of what I would say, what I would do. I couldn't wait. Finally I got to school and the whole high school piled in the big gym for the first assembly of the year. I sat down, frantically looking for him. I couldn't find him anywhere, I was getting antsy. I spent the whole assembly looking for him, I scanned the crowd at least a thousand times. Eventually it ended, and to my disappointment I still hadn't spotted Brandon.
As the school filed out of the gym, I saw him. My heart almost burst. I smiled and waved. He looked away and walked out of the gym. He must of not seen me I assumed. Then it all became a pattern. He avoided me in the halls, never IMed me on the computer. It dawned on me. He was avoiding me. Every word he had said to me was a lie, fake, not real. I knew it had been too good to be true. My heart broke completely. I didn't understand why he didn't want me. I cried every day for months because he lied to me. The worst part though is that I loved him for so long after. If he would have walked up to me and said he actually did want me, I wouldn't have had a second thought, I would have taken him back.