Three Dresses

September 14, 2009
By Diana Jones BRONZE, Rockaway Park, New York
Diana Jones BRONZE, Rockaway Park, New York
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Once upon a time there were three princesses. Their names were May, Zoey, and Ruby. May was the smart one and her favorite color was blue. Zoey was the funny one and her favorite color was purple. Ruby was the bright one and her favorite color was red. They saw a shooting star and the princesses wished for the same thing. It was that they would be able to go to a ball and dance with a prince. The next day they got separate invitations from separate princes. The invitations were for a ball. They were so excited to go but they had no fancy dresses to wear.

May was good at sewing. She made her own dress and she told her sisters that she would not make their dresses. They were upset with her.

Zoey left to go to the store. She got bread and butter to eat. There was a dress store across the block from the bread store. She went into the store and found her dream dress. The dress was a lot of money. The dress cost $546. She had $500. She had to earn $46. She started to sell lemonade for 50 cents each. When people got 1 drink they said for Zoey to keep the change because she is a princess. The next day, she had $546 so now she was able to get the dress.

Ruby had a red dress. She went to the jewelry store to get rubies on her dress. It cost $5,000. She had $5,000. She had enough money. The ball was the next day and they had their dresses ready. They were very nervous. The ball was fantastic! They all married their princes 3 years later. They lived happy ever after.

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This article has 2 comments.

LastChapter said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 1:21 pm
LastChapter, Hempstead, New York
0 articles 0 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
(couldn't think of anything better at the time) "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."-Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

this sounds like a less descriptive re-make of a 3rd grade fairytale. I an tell by the way you write that you CAN do better, so why not give it a second shot? This time with a better plot, more of a struggle for the characters getting what they want instead of it just happening, and a higher climax. And remember, not everything has to have a happily ever after.

on Oct. 27 2009 at 8:18 pm
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt

THis is a very charming story, but perhaps you could try to add some more detail and work on showing- not telling. You may also want to try adding a twist or some kind of climax or problem. I definitley think this would make a wonderful, longer story! And if you do choose to make a couple changes, you can always re-publish and I would love to read that! Keep up the good work!


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