Love Never Fails - Part 2

September 28, 2009
"Love Never Fails" continued...

She had sunk into the deepest part of her depression, almost absent of all that was around her, only being able to see darkness. She had slipped out behind the high school, near the dumpster. She fell to the ground, millions of voices filling her mind while the sky above her spun out of control, just as her life had. She couldn’t overcome the feelings that battled in her heart, she didn’t want to live anymore, she was done, had given up. She glanced down at the pocket knife in her hand, turning it and watching the sun glisten off of the metal blade. Turning her wrist, she pressed the sharp blade to her skin, and then slowly, the blood beaded and then broke out, streaming down her arm, seeping into her shirt. She didn’t want to stop, she kept cutting, gritting her teeth against the pain of the cuts, but most of all the pain that dragged her into the black bottomless pit of her heart. Blood covered her arms and clothes. She felt dizzy, and slowly the voices began to fade and the world came to a stop, the sky grew bright and flashed white before her eyes. And then, a single voice came through the cloudiness, gentle and sweet, as if from heaven. “Someone has already bore those stripes for you, Annalise.” And then she felt his strong arms around her, as he cradled her, her blood staining the front of his shirt. She felt herself slipping away, giving into the peace that fought to make its way into her burdened heart, but then something out of her control flared up inside, causing her to struggle and fight against his gentle embrace. She screamed out against him, not wanting his pity, not wanting to accept his kindness. “Let me go!” She lashed out at him, the knife still clenched in her hand. “I don’t need you!” His embrace was strong, still loving, still gentle. “I want to help you, Annalise.” “I don’t want your help! Just let me die, please.” “I don’t want to let you die, Annalise, I want you to live,” Pain caused his eyes to widen as he spoke. Annalise looked down, the knife had stabbed his left hand accidentally in her struggle to be set free from his embrace. And all of a sudden her heart broke open, after being hardened over the years, she allowed all that she had held inside for so long to spill out on to her face as she gave into the heartrending sobs that her soul had hungered for, for so long. Healing tears. She was set free from the chains that had bound her heart, she felt as if her soul had wings as an eagle and soared, and that she could run and never grow weary. Her heart was able to give and except love again. Annalise breathed deeply, still looking into her father’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, daddy. I didn’t want to hurt you…” He smiled. “All is forgiven…no need to go back. This is your day, sweetheart, live it with all of your heart.” She smiled, her blue eyes bright again, and she hugged him tight before slipping her hand in the crook of his arm and allowed him to lead her down the grassy aisle towards her beloved. Smiling, her beloved reached for her left hand, the scar so apparent in the center of his palm, causing her heart to tighten with guilt. I’m so sorry… He looked at her with his gentle eyes, smiling at her. “It is all forgiven.” He whispered. “I love you, and will bare many more scars for you, if it meant that you would live.” Her heart pounded wildly. How can you be so good to me? I am not worthy enough to be loved! Her thoughts rang out as she looked into his eyes. The words of the minister were carried by the wind across the grassy meadow that they had chosen for this special day. The wildflowers were in bloom and bobbed their heads in the gentle breeze, their scent filling the air. They stood tall as if they were a million witnesses of the special covenant made between Annalise and her beloved. “…a covenant is not to be broken…” Could she forever keep her promise to him? “…love never fails…” Was it so? Would his love never fail her? “…will you, Annalise, vow you heart to a lifetime of promise?” Could she promise her heart to him? She found herself nodding her yes, her voice gone from her, as if the gentle summer breeze had carried it away. Years passed after Annalise and her beloved had been joined together as one. The first year had been a beautiful one, he was so good, so kind, so forgiving, so patient as she learned ever so slowly to let go. He held her hand and guided her daily, teaching her of things that she had never heard of before. And at times she almost felt as if she could do anything with him by her side. She felt free, felt as if she could smile forever. But then, she opened her eyes and saw that people gawked at her when she walked beside him. They looked at her and him together, and she found them almost laughing. Why? When my heart was black I was judged, and now they judge me still…but why? She would look up at him and he would smile down at her, but the pain of others’ unwillingness to love him back mirrored in his eyes. Her parents though, loved him dearly. Her father especially had taken him in, calling him son. Annalise tried to deny the fact that her mother was slipping away though. Her mother was so weak, her skin so pale and her eyes so dull. Annalise couldn’t accept her mother’s dieing, she didn’t want to let go, didn’t want to say goodbye. She pleaded with her beloved, pleaded that he would make her better, but he shook his head, his eyes apologetic. “Sometimes, darling, you just have to let go.” He kissed her cheek ever so lightly. “But you can do something, can’t you? Can’t you make her live forever?” Annalise fought against the feelings that rose in her heart. “Annalise, I know that you want me to do something, but sometimes you need to just let things be.” He looked deeply in to her eyes. “Leaving this earth is not the end of her life, Love. She will be going home where life is eternal.” She shook her head, her vision blurry with tears. “No, you can do something, I know you can. You’re a doctor, help her, it’s your job.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Annalise, but I can’t. Please understand…” She shook her head in anger. “No!” Turning she fled from him, the blackness of her heart years ago was returning, staining the white. She ran until she had no breath left, her heart pounding. She fell to her knees, anger flooding her face with hot tears. Love never fails… She looked to the sky, it was darkening with storm clouds and the sound of thunder rang in the distance. I hate him! He could save her, but he chooses to watch her die! Why? Why is he allowing this? She felt her heart harden and the blackness return.

To be continued...

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

LyverinthsWalk said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 11:01 am
Reading this allows me to face the facts, but also wants me to take one step closer towards that blackness, that sleek sharp knife. Beautiful writing.
megpie000 said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 6:10 pm
i agree. its more of a realationship with god more than anything!
HeatherN. said...
Oct. 16, 2009 at 2:12 pm
This is just as good as the first part! and you are exactly right, it's not a religion
savinGrace replied...
Oct. 16, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Thank you for reading and commenting on both of my Love Never Fails stories. :) It is so awesome to hear that you are a born-again Christian too!
KiraKira said...
Oct. 14, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I can relate to Anbalise. I am not emo, but I can understand her dark thoughts and her desire to die. I think sometimes that it would be good just to let go, but I always think what I would be losing. I'm not exactly religous so I can't say that a higher being has something in store for me, but I would like to think that Fate, however cruel, has something for me and I have to fight for it. Annalise is helped by this guardian angel/ lover, and I think that is how a lot of readers like m... (more »)
savinGrace replied...
Oct. 15, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Thank you so much for your comment on my work.
you >> "I'm not exactly religious" >>> Neither am I. :) It's a relationship, (which is what my story symbolizes), and not a religion.
I am excited to see people reading my work:) Thanks again for commenting.
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