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EC+AM=4ever Chapter 7
June 7, 2009
I sat in my bed. I just sat there, not doing anything. Just staring off into space, thinking. Kristy had called my cell phone six times, but I didn't pick up. I didn't want to talk.
"Hey," I turned to see Ash standing at his window, calling out to me. My heart stopped. I should have shut my window.
"Hi," I replied.
He noticed the pain in my voice, "What's wrong?"
"Ash, I know." I stated.
"Know what?" he asked.
"What you did to your dad."
His face froze in a mix of shock, dejection, and concern. "Oh,"
"Why'd you lie to me?"
"Because I knew that you wouldn't understand. No one understands. I had to do it! He was going to kill my mom, Evalynne!" And then for the first time, I saw Ash cry.
"Ash, it's ok. I do understand. I'm just shocked, that's all. And I'm hurt that you didn't tell me in the first place."
"I know. And I was going to at the park, but I just couldn't. I was so afraid that you would think differently of me if you knew."
"Well I don't." That was only partially true. "But you're mom knows that I know. And she's really mad about it. She came over to my house and threatened me to stay away from you."
I just couldn't get myself to tell him how dissapointed I was to find out he had done this. He was already at such a fragile state.
"What?" he demanded. "I can't believe that! How'd she find out?"
"Well I actually sent you a text saying that I knew and she read it."
"Well there isn't a text saying that you know on my phone now. She must have deleted it. She probably didn't want me to know about it."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for her to find out." I apologized.
"Don't worry, it's not your fault." He smiled at me weakly. Then his bedroom door slammed open.
"I told you to stay away from her!" Ms. Mongolia shouted.
"But I love her, Mom!" he replied, turning to face her. Oh my gosh, Ash had said he loved me.
"I love you too!" I called back to him. He turned his back to face me and I looked into his eyes. They were full of pain, desperation, and compassion. I'd never seen him so emotional.
"I don't care." Ms. Mongolia replied.
"How can you not care about your son's happiness?" I demanded.
"Stay out of this." she hissed.
"No, Mom, answer the question! How can you not care?" Ash asked. It was then that I realized that Ash was truly hurt by his mother's cruelness.
"Ash, I do care about you. But I think that you're making the wrong decision by being with her. I don't like her, ok? And I don't want you to make the same mistake I did by choosing your father."
"But it's not a mistake, Mom. I know it's not. I love her."
"I loved your father too, but my parents warned me he wasn't right for me. If I'd listened to them, I might still have a husband."
I could tell that this really hurt Ash. "Don't say that, Mom. You loved Dad."
"I did when I first met him. When I was a teenager like you. But back then, I didn't know any better. I married him when I was eighteen. That was the biggest mistake of my life."
I was pretty sure that Ash and his mom had both forgotten I was there, because they just kept talking without paying any attention to me. But this gave me a chance to listen to how they really felt about all of this.
"Well I'm not you, Mom. And I know this is what I want." he replied.
And then a single tears trickled down his mom's face. "I'm just trying to protect you because I love you. But obviously, you don't care how I feel."
"Mom, don't say that!"
"Ash, please don't do this to me. You don't understand how much I truly care about you. I know what it feels like to have the one you love turn on you. And I just sense something about that girl that doesn't seem right. Please just listen to me."
"But I love Evalynne, Mom. I really do."
She shook her head, "Well then it's your choice. Her or me?"
My eyes widened in shock. Was she seriously going to make him choose between me and his own mother?
"Mom, what do you mean?" he asked in shock.
"Choose: her or me."
"I can't do that, Mom. I just can't."
"Well you're going to have to. You have until tomorrow night." Then she walked out of his room.
He stood there for a moment, stunned, before turning back to face me. The look on his face made me want to just hug him. He looked devastated, pained, shocked, and completely dejected.
"Ash," I said softly.
"I don't feel like talking anymore." he replied quietly. Then he shut his window and pulled down his blinds. I felt like this was all my fault.
My heart ached for him, but I knew I couldn't make this any better. I'd already done too much damage. Damage beyond repair.
"Honey, I just came up here to check on you. You seemed depressed when I got home." Mom said, walking into my room.
She saw that I was sitting in front of my window, frozen in a state of mixed emotions. And without another word, she rushed over and hugged me. She held me tight in her arms, making me feel warm.
"Mom, I have to tell you something about Ash." I told her once she pulled away.
"What is it?" she asked.
And then I explained to her what happened with his dad, what happened earlier when I sent him that text, and what I had just witnessed out the window.
"Oh my gosh," she said blankly. "Are you serious?"
I nodded, "Mom, I don't know what to do. I love Ash, but I feel like I'm just making everything worse. I feel like this is all my fault!"
"Oh, sweetie, it's not your fault. You can't change what happened in the past. And you can't help it that you're in love. Either can Ash. But now I understand why his mom is so tense all the time. That poor woman,"
"I feel bad for her too, but she shouldn't make Ash choose between me and her!" I replied.
"I think she just feels that she's protecting him by doing that. She's just hurt by everything that she had to go through. No one deserves a life so depressing."
"I agree, but she's putting Ash through so much pain. You should have seen the look on his face after she told him to choose between us."
"I know, but imagine if you were in her position. She's just trying to look out for him. She doesn't want him to go through what she went through."
"I guess you're right. But what should I do? Should I tell Ash to choose her over me?" I asked.
"You do whatever you think is best. Just remember that there are two other people involved in this that are just as hurt as you are." she replied.
"Thanks, Mom," I said to her.
She smiled that warm, motherly smile of hers. "Anytime," Then she hugged me one last time before walking away.
I laid down on my bed, trying to fall asleep. But everytime I closed my eyes I saw Ash and that hurt look on his face. I watched a tear drop land on my pillow and realized that I was crying. Again.
I was surprised I even had any tears left from all of the sobbing I'd done today. Soon enough, I was just whimpering softly, but no tears came. I had officially ran out of them. That had never happened to me before. I'd never been so pained.
I lifted my head up slightly so that I could see out my window. Ash's blinds were still shut, but I could just imagine him sitting on his bed. Crying, thinking about who to choose, feeling even worse than I felt.
That's when I realized that there was only one option left. I couldn't put anyone through anymore pain. I had to let Ash choose his mom.