Loving you is like wanting death Ep. 1

August 27, 2009
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She tried to strike him with her bare fleshed hand. He grabbed it in mid air. "Would you like to try again?" he asked with a dark smirk across his face. Yes! She screamed within herself. She hated him and everything he did to her. She loved him but hated everything about him. He killed her hope of her father coming back to her. She looked away from the hard-chisseled face that captured her in such a trance many times before. "He will come back. He loves me, which is more than what I can say about you!" I shifted away from him. He crossed his arms and began to sigh. He leaned on the fireplace as i sat down on the piano in the middle of the living room. I shuffled through the sheet music and found a symphony from Beethoven's 3rd. I began to play. my fingers gently touching the ancient piece. I could feel his eyes burning a hole through my head. He who stole me away in the middle of the night just to tell me that my father's return was hopeless and just a fairytale. Yes, I hated him. I suddenly didnt feel the urge to play anymore and finished the symphony with my own made up tune. I gently closed the piano and walked to the door to exit this treacherous place he was trying to keep me captive in. He glided in front of the door and leaned on the handle. His face was now serious and stricken with frustration. "For the last time your not going anywhere. So sit now." he brushed his hand through his black hair and lowered his eyes at me. "Move." I said in a husk voice. It was five in the morning i had no time for this. He smiled well more of a sinical smile then a happy-go-lucky one. Jackass. "Make me." He crossed his arms back in place and began to hum the same tune i played a minmute ago. "You arrogant-" I stopped myself. "Fine Ill move you." I spoke in a low whisper. His eyes fluttered as I moved closer to him. His breath and mine lingered together as we breathed in eachothers scent. I skimmed my lips across his. He backed up. Yeah wasnt expecting that one now were you. I kept repeating that in my head. I had the control not him. He lowered his arms and then grabbed me by the waist pulling me closer to him. His rock solid chest against mine. He bit my lower lip and then devoured my lips with a need that he must have been holding back for all this time. It was our first but not our last kiss.

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PenPaperAddiction said...
Dec. 24, 2011 at 1:31 am
Kind of reminds me of "Beauty and the Beast"... With an edgier, sexier twist.
Varsha V. said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 11:10 pm
AMAZING. Practically perfect in every way. Keep it up! :D
snowyangel775 said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:02 pm
I love it! Keep writing
NerdFighter said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 1:41 am
I love your writing but I'm confused about the chapters cause yje next chapters are like a totally different book...write more!!
kairi.kaylyn replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 10:07 am
I was a bit confused at first but I still like it.
Lalalovable said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 9:50 pm
wow this is really great and edgy! I feel like I've read this before on teenink somewhere. Keep on writing:)
clumsyteardropper said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm
ahhhhh cliffhanger!!!!!!  i'm so loving it!!!! :D  write more!  WHAT HAPPENS???  or is there already more??  ILL GO SEE!!!!! *eagerly marches up to the search box*
Dreamgirl95 said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 9:25 am
I love this so much, I've read it like five times and it's still amazing. Great work:)
livelifeforreal said...
Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:34 pm
it is really good, but you switched between she and i in the beggining of ther story, which made it a bit confussing at first.
garthgirl8888 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 11:16 pm
The romance is crazy good, but you switch your pronouns between she and I and had some grammar issues. Also, another post said that you plagiarized from Jodi picoult...
Imperfectlife said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 6:47 pm
I love to know more and read more romantic moments. Awww the kissing part was really sweet.
CutWrtingLoose said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Woah, very very good, please continue to write!!
rachelwilson said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 1:23 pm

This is really good!


Michelle L. said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm
is there a Loving you is like wanting death ep. 2?? cuz i cant find it and i want to read more, i love this!
jaymishae said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 10:44 am
i can totallyrelate with this. not that ive ever been heldagainst my will or anything but the emituon behnd ths makes me feel like ivebeen terre. its awesome when that happens and you have to hav talent to write well enough to make that happen.
melbell said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 10:34 am
i think this was a good one it showed that you have a love for writing. keep up the good work
ashluv22 said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 6:05 am
wow this is amazing i mean i was seriously amazed when i read the frist line.
neshkuh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 2:26 am

I see a lot of potential in what you've written; as far as what contemporary teen romance fiction looks like these days you've got the style/trend down really well. However this piece really needs editing. You change tenses unneccessarily and there is a very low level of professional presentation -- you have screaming typos and a lack of crucial and basic punctuation at times.

The storyline also seems to move incongruously. I'm not sure if that was your intent or not. But your fmc goes... (more »)

Imperfectlife replied...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 6:51 pm
I thought it was good! Isn't the mystery about the father needed? And the emotions altering, isn't that human nature? All humans tends to change thair emtoions in many different ways. So I do really think this story is really good!
HollerGirl26 said...
Sept. 5, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I LOVE THIS!!! Dark romance..perfectly said, zadiekatie23!! :) do go on!! <3333
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