Apartment Girl

August 26, 2009
By beautifulpeople SILVER, Houston, Texas
beautifulpeople SILVER, Houston, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want to do but be ready for the consequences."


My date walked me up my apartment stairs. He was saying something about a great night, I don’t know. I was tuning him out, thinking about a nice warm bath with lilac-smelling bubbles. It was rude to do that, trust me I know. But he was boring.
“So I really enjoyed your company. And I had a great night. I thought the movie was good. And the food tasted really good.” Blah, blah, blah. I tried not to roll my eyes. Every guy has said the same thing.
“Oh yeah, me too. You are so funny!” I smiled and touched his arm, trying to be nice but this guy was a pain. Sure he could make me laugh but that’s not exactly hard to do. A lamp can make me laugh. The smile didn’t reach my eyes, I could feel it. He takes my hand. It was sweaty and gross. I sound like a total brat. Gosh, someone should seriously slap me. I mean the guys nice but if I stopped liking him in the middle of the date that’s bad, right? A second date wouldn’t go very well. We stop at the top of the stairs and he leans forward, waiting for a kiss. I give him a quick peck, say bye, and walk into my apartment building.
“Another date, Ms. Kristabel?” The front desk guy asks me. He always sees me with different men. I’m not a slut, though. Just a girl looking for love.
“Yes, but this one didn’t go well either. Personally, I don’t think there’s a guy out there for me. I’ve dated almost every freakin’ fish in the sea.” I sigh and push the button for the elevator. This apartment strikes me as interesting. Their front entrance looks so grand, I mean the floors actually look like real marble and the maroon walls and fancy couches add zest to the place. They have three floors that go up, and three floors that go down. I just think that’s so cool.
“Well, Ms. Kristabel there’s always someone out there. Just don’t give up.” I look back at him and pray with my eyes that he is right. He just smiles and nods his head at me, while the doors slide open. I walk in and press 2D so I can go two floors down away from the guy that I almost fell for. The memory pops into my head. When I first moved here, he was working there. The desk guy was stunningly handsome. Sharp cheek bones, a prominent jaw, black wavy hair, and these brown eyes that melted you when you looked into them, no matter how cold your heart was.
I was holding a box full of my crap when he caught my gaze, and perhaps my feet because the next thing I know I went skidding onto the floor and my crap fell out. His deep chuckle came from beside me as he started picking up the clothes. Bras, panties, you name it, it was on that floor. I get off the elevator and amble over to my door, number 52.



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This article has 114 comments.


Nessa13 GOLD said...
on Jan. 17 2012 at 8:48 am
Nessa13 GOLD, Charlestown, Indiana
18 articles 0 photos 109 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love, but never fall in love, because things that fall get broken"
-Taylor Swift

This was a really good story, but why did you end it like that??

Fia-fia BRONZE said...
on Nov. 12 2011 at 9:51 pm
Fia-fia BRONZE, Bethesda, Maryland
4 articles 1 photo 157 comments

Great story! Very well written! Thank you

:)


on Nov. 10 2011 at 12:56 pm
ambamix3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
3 articles 5 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
We live by the sun
We feel by the moon

You are very good at making mental images for the reader, but i kind of got lost in the article.

BUT i like your story line, and i wish there was a sencond part , because i really cant see or imagine what would be next . (: thank you '


on Oct. 21 2011 at 8:04 pm
Miki-chan BRONZE, Waynesboro, Mississippi
3 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't screw with Crazy.

But I do wonder, is there a sequal? It did end rather suddenly, and I would like to see what happens.

on Oct. 21 2011 at 8:00 pm
Miki-chan BRONZE, Waynesboro, Mississippi
3 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't screw with Crazy.

I thought this was a very adorable story, which draws you in and keeps you until the end. Keep writing!

on Oct. 21 2011 at 12:35 pm
Mel_magnfique, Salmiya, Other
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
this was a really sweet story. I rarely like first person narrators, but here I felt like I wanted to know more about her.

on Oct. 21 2011 at 10:01 am
 A very well-rounded story indeed.  It draws you in, and the way you express her disgust at the beginning really helps your reader feel it too...however, when you get to the part about the elevator, the "desk guy" and the memory, it gets a little confusing.  I had to read it twice to make sure I understood what you were getting at.  Excellent writing overall!

on Oct. 21 2011 at 5:27 am
Imperfectlife SILVER, Rochester, New York
7 articles 0 photos 74 comments
It was very good, I like it the way how you said that she spilled all her stuff in front of the desk guy.

on Sep. 29 2011 at 3:49 pm
beautifulpeople SILVER, Houston, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want to do but be ready for the consequences."

*necessary

LaceeJade GOLD said...
on Sep. 29 2011 at 12:56 am
LaceeJade GOLD, Bucyrus, Ohio
17 articles 4 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
♥ I've made mistakes in my life. i've let people take advantage of me, and i accepted way less than i deserve. But, i've learned from my bad choices, and even though there are some things i can never get back and people who will never be sorry. i'll know better next time and i wont settle for anything less than i deserve. ♥

iliked it! dont be rude. if u have something like that to say be tactfull.

on Sep. 7 2011 at 11:18 pm
1224L0v3 SILVER, Richmond, California
5 articles 0 photos 24 comments

i agree, it ay have been better if you checked the thesaurus.

 

Great though!! check out my stories too, especially "Middle School"


on Sep. 7 2011 at 9:37 pm
I really don't think that a few of the words that you used were nessesary. You have so much talent, though, please don't let it go to waste by using such words.

on Sep. 7 2011 at 6:51 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

....is...is that ALL?!?! WHYYYYY!!!???? oh I loved this, by the way. 

on Sep. 7 2011 at 5:49 pm
zadiekatie23 PLATINUM, Rio Rancho, New Mexico
39 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

Great! Short and to the point-which is what you want in a short story. I was kind of confused at the end, with the flashback and then one sentence going back to the present, but otherwise, I enjoyed reading it!

on Jul. 25 2011 at 6:33 pm
billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always darkest before the dawn." ~Florence and the Machine

Nice story! It really puts you inside the life of someone who is looking in every nook and cranny for love, but they just can't find it, instead they find exasperation and frustration. I like how you included the front desk guy, that was cute, very Eloise:);) Good job!:):):);)

TAR11 SILVER said...
on Jul. 25 2011 at 4:02 pm
TAR11 SILVER, Allison Park, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 51 comments
Cool story please check out mine, Sean Flynn, if you get the chance thanks! 

LovelySerena said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 10:55 am
LovelySerena, Dededo, Other
0 articles 8 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches on the soul. ~Emily Dickinson

Lolz, lucky her, she gets to live in a nice apartment!

sids said...
on Jul. 18 2011 at 5:33 pm
no smith means that she will BECOME a mrs.

on Jul. 3 2011 at 11:40 pm
Sincerly,Jasmine SILVER, Villa Park, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Beauty comes in its own box"

I thought the story line was great, but as in depth of a reader that i am i couldnt help but noitce that it sounded childishly worded. I think you defiantly should continue but make the sequel stronger. I would LOVE to see the next one. Great job!

kt315 said...
on Jul. 3 2011 at 11:17 am
kt315, Aurora, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson quotes

loved it! i can't wait for more! i especially liked how you developed a strong personality for the main girl in just a few paragraphs-very nice :)


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