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Apartment Girl

My date walked me up my apartment stairs. He was saying something about a great night, I don’t know. I was tuning him out, thinking about a nice warm bath with lilac-smelling bubbles. It was rude to do that, trust me I know. But he was boring.
“So I really enjoyed your company. And I had a great night. I thought the movie was good. And the food tasted really good.” Blah, blah, blah. I tried not to roll my eyes. Every guy has said the same thing.
“Oh yeah, me too. You are so funny!” I smiled and touched his arm, trying to be nice but this guy was a pain. Sure he could make me laugh but that’s not exactly hard to do. A lamp can make me laugh. The smile didn’t reach my eyes, I could feel it. He takes my hand. It was sweaty and gross. I sound like a total brat. Gosh, someone should seriously slap me. I mean the guys nice but if I stopped liking him in the middle of the date that’s bad, right? A second date wouldn’t go very well. We stop at the top of the stairs and he leans forward, waiting for a kiss. I give him a quick peck, say bye, and walk into my apartment building.
“Another date, Ms. Kristabel?” The front desk guy asks me. He always sees me with different men. I’m not a slut, though. Just a girl looking for love.
“Yes, but this one didn’t go well either. Personally, I don’t think there’s a guy out there for me. I’ve dated almost every freakin’ fish in the sea.” I sigh and push the button for the elevator. This apartment strikes me as interesting. Their front entrance looks so grand, I mean the floors actually look like real marble and the maroon walls and fancy couches add zest to the place. They have three floors that go up, and three floors that go down. I just think that’s so cool.
“Well, Ms. Kristabel there’s always someone out there. Just don’t give up.” I look back at him and pray with my eyes that he is right. He just smiles and nods his head at me, while the doors slide open. I walk in and press 2D so I can go two floors down away from the guy that I almost fell for. The memory pops into my head. When I first moved here, he was working there. The desk guy was stunningly handsome. Sharp cheek bones, a prominent jaw, black wavy hair, and these brown eyes that melted you when you looked into them, no matter how cold your heart was.
I was holding a box full of my crap when he caught my gaze, and perhaps my feet because the next thing I know I went skidding onto the floor and my crap fell out. His deep chuckle came from beside me as he started picking up the clothes. Bras, panties, you name it, it was on that floor. I get off the elevator and amble over to my door, number 52.



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This article has 114 comments. Post your own!

Nessa13 said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 8:48 am:
This was a really good story, but why did you end it like that??
 
OceanEyes0355 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:23 pm :
It definitely needs more! Keep writing!
 
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Fia-fia said...
Nov. 12, 2011 at 9:51 pm:

Great story! Very well written! Thank you

:)

 
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ambamixx3 said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 12:56 pm:

You are very good at making mental images for the reader, but i kind of got lost in the article.

BUT i like your story line, and i wish there was a sencond part , because i really cant see or imagine what would be next . (: thank you '

 
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CaeCae97 said...
Oct. 21, 2011 at 8:00 pm:
I thought this was a very adorable story, which draws you in and keeps you until the end. Keep writing!
 
CaeCae97 replied...
Oct. 21, 2011 at 8:04 pm :
But I do wonder, is there a sequal? It did end rather suddenly, and I would like to see what happens.
 
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Mel_magnfique said...
Oct. 21, 2011 at 12:35 pm:
this was a really sweet story. I rarely like first person narrators, but here I felt like I wanted to know more about her.
 
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Gingersnap777 said...
Oct. 21, 2011 at 10:01 am:
 A very well-rounded story indeed.  It draws you in, and the way you express her disgust at the beginning really helps your reader feel it too...however, when you get to the part about the elevator, the "desk guy" and the memory, it gets a little confusing.  I had to read it twice to make sure I understood what you were getting at.  Excellent writing overall!
 
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Imperfectlife said...
Oct. 21, 2011 at 5:27 am:
It was very good, I like it the way how you said that she spilled all her stuff in front of the desk guy.
 
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ArrowHeart said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 11:18 pm:

i agree, it ay have been better if you checked the thesaurus.

 

Great though!! check out my stories too, especially "Middle School"

 
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mercebeinyata said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 9:37 pm:
I really don't think that a few of the words that you used were nessesary. You have so much talent, though, please don't let it go to waste by using such words.
 
beautifulpeople replied...
Sept. 29, 2011 at 3:49 pm :
*necessary
 
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HollerGirl26 said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 6:51 pm:
....is...is that ALL?!?! WHYYYYY!!!???? oh I loved this, by the way. 
 
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zadiekatie23 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm:
Great! Short and to the point-which is what you want in a short story. I was kind of confused at the end, with the flashback and then one sentence going back to the present, but otherwise, I enjoyed reading it!
 
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billgamesh11 said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 6:33 pm:
Nice story! It really puts you inside the life of someone who is looking in every nook and cranny for love, but they just can't find it, instead they find exasperation and frustration. I like how you included the front desk guy, that was cute, very Eloise:);) Good job!:):):);)
 
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TAR11 said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm:
Cool story please check out mine, Sean Flynn, if you get the chance thanks! 
 
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LovelyBlueRose said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 10:55 am:
Lolz, lucky her, she gets to live in a nice apartment!
 
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sids said...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 5:33 pm:
no smith means that she will BECOME a mrs.
 
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Sincerly,Jasmine said...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 11:40 pm:
I thought the story line was great, but as in depth of a reader that i am i couldnt help but noitce that it sounded childishly worded. I think you defiantly should continue but make the sequel stronger. I would LOVE to see the next one. Great job!
 
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kt315 said...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 11:17 am:
loved it! i can't wait for more! i especially liked how you developed a strong personality for the main girl in just a few paragraphs-very nice :)
 
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Tigerz101 said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 9:20 am:
do u mean mr. right??
 
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